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In_The_Same_Boat

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Everything posted by In_The_Same_Boat

  1. @MMissouri, it makes no difference to me if my giver has genital HSV or not, because we have never had intercourse… To any other non-believers, hey, I thought it was impossible, too. Believe me- I wish it were impossible- I would give up everything I own if only it could be impossible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not saying it is always present in the saliva if you have oral hsv. I am not saying it is often in your saliva if you have oral hsv. I'm saying that if you are symptomatically or asymptomatically shedding, it can be present in your saliva, and if this were not possible, I wouldn't have it. I know it may be easy to think, well, it could have been from someone else, but I had no contact with anyone else for years and years AND- because of the precise location of the outbreak- it's in a location that I wouldn't normally utilize during sex.
  2. Anyway, if you google it, most (reputable) sites state that it can be present in saliva for oral hsv, and in semen and vaginal fluids for genital hsv. I don't want to cause anyone to panic… just to be aware.
  3. Yes, he licked or spat on his hand, then stuck it someplace he shouldn't have. I wouldn't have believed it either, if it hadn't happened to me. At first, when the itching started, I thought, no… there is just no way… he developed cold sores the same day I broke out- exactly one week after exposing me to it… so he was shedding, with no knowledge of it…I think it was the CDC's website that says shedding is very common about a week prior to and after an ob.
  4. I'll let someone else fill in the details about the other fluids, but I just wanted to tell you that yes, if you are shedding, and you have oral hsv, it can be spread by saliva- yes, just through saliva- even without any skin to skin contact- I'm living proof of that! I would think the CDC's website should have reasonably accurate info.
  5. You know… life can be weird. A few days BEFORE I had my first ever OB, I had a friend over. I asked her how a mutual friend was doing- who my friend knows better than I do. She told me that she was ok, but that she had gotten herpes, and for this reason, my friend no longer wanted to go to her house, use her towels, etc. I was just so surprised that this poor woman had contacted herpes, that I really didn't know what to say, except "oh my gosh… how?" Meanwhile… throughout the evening, my friend kept telling me how amazing my new place was, and, would I possibly consider letting her move in with me, and be roommates…? Well, first of all, I don't want a roommate. But this all happened before I knew I had been exposed to herpes. When I had my first OB, complete with flu like symptoms a few days later, that conversation flashed through my mind. And guess what…? I knew exactly who NOT to tell! And guess what else? I know exactly who NOT to invite over when she needs a place to stay! She would be over here every weekend if I let her, not to mention the whole horrible "let's be roommates" idea. So, @ele3, I think it was wise not to share your situation with them- at least not yet- I think it sounds like they may not have the maturity to handle it. And you have to try to get out of your funk… Maybe just try to focus on school, interests, yoga, meditation, etc… I know people always say "don't compare yourself to others", but it's true… Don't worry too much about not having met "anybody" yet. You don't want to meet just "anybody", anyway… you want to meet somebody really worth meeting, am I wrong? Don't rush it… It will happen, but probably not until you are in a bit of a better place. So… get there! Take care and feel better.
  6. Wow. I really like this… Don't worry, when the time is right, you will find the "1"…
  7. I feel for you… not sure what to tell you. I think it would be good to tell him. In regard to those last two lines… for future reference- yeah, it does seem to be the norm for people not to disclose oral hsv1… and as a result, isn't that how most of us here got it? Disclose before kissing? Yeah, not sure, but disclose before oral? Definitely. Yes, even though you are not positive you have it orally, and yes, even though 80% of the population has it. The way I got it- the chances were soooo remote, yet I still got it. For that reason, I'd say err on the side of caution!
  8. Well, @seeker, I love reading your posts, btw… No, you are not going to get in trouble! I hear you about "what's wrong with two people drinking together" but… but… but...in these two gal's cases… they seem to have been MUCH more drunk than the guys in question. The shy gal was "blackout drunk", yet they still managed to get back to the guy's house somehow… the guy wasn't too drunk to get it up, so it seems like she was WAY more drunk… In Miss Cleopatra's case, he had to assure her that a condom was used, because she does't seem to have any memory of what happened… he was able to perform, put on a condom, remember what took place… When I first read these posts, my first thought was… I actually wanted to ask these women if they were absolutely sure if they were just really drunk… or if something had been slipped into their drinks! Shy gal seemed to be drunk so "suddenly", after all, and woke up "in a trance"… sounds like someone who could have gotten blackout drunk, also sounds like someone who could have been drugged. If two people are equally drunk, ok, both equally responsible, I guess, but I thought that most guys couldn't get much of an erection in the first place!
  9. Best of luck telling him. Yes, fear of rejection is a very real thing, but telling him is the right thing to do. If you love each other, I don't see how you can possibly lose him- over something like this… And you have known each other for ten years! Sounds like you know each other very well, and this shouldn't turn out to be a huge issue. Wishing you the best of luck!
  10. Yeah, I was going to say… H makes it easier for us to contract HIV… so yes, we are in a higher risk group for that.
  11. How very astute of you, James… Well put! Particularly the part about people who see h as a deal breaker. Not that I'm happy I have this- because I'm not, but it does show you very quickly what other people are REALLY about. Best of luck disclosing! : )
  12. I think it's great idea to experiment in a new city! Sounds like a good way to try it out. About women messaging men: When I was "looking", I would occasionally message someone if I liked his profile, but the trouble is, women tend to get LOTS of messages, partly because there are more men than women on many sites… So- if a woman gets more messages than she can read and sort through on a daily basis, she might be more inclined to check as many profiles of the guys who have sent her messages as she can- and looking at other profiles might go by the wayside. That's my two cents. Good luck!
  13. Wait… What?!?!?!? She wants to put someone at risk… without telling them… again? Wow. What else is there to say, really? Just, WOW.
  14. LiveNLearn, that is great that you found something that works! I'm taking acyclovir daily, still having issues, still intense itching… all day, nearly every day… hypersensitive skin, etc… I know that acyclovir gave you bad side effects, but other than that, was it helping with your nerve pain and hypersensitive skin? If not, if famvir is the only thing that helped you with that, then I want to try this Famvir stuff ASAP!
  15. I have been taking acyclovir, I haven't noticed side-effects yet, but I am also not convinced it is doing anything either… I'm only two months in, so I hope that's why. I have heard that famvir and valycyclovir are better drugs than acyclovir… can anyone tell me if this is true?
  16. I have to agree… I don't like the sound of those unlikely theories.
  17. I understand... I came down with this two months ago, and I am still waiting for the "initial shock" to go away. I wish you and your girlfriend the best. Good luck with everything!
  18. Congrats! Sooo happy for you! I have to agree with everybody- don't worry… just enjoy each other!!!
  19. Are you sure it's too late to tell her this? That you were realize you were stubborn, that you made a mistake, but that you still love her? Tell her! Tell her! And you have to try to find a way to stop being so hard on yourself. Yes, it takes time for the antibodies to show up, but you didn't know.
  20. Dear Shinein09, I know it's hard, but please take this advice: Don't ever bet against yourself! This may keep the wrong people from being with you… but who cares about the wrong people, anyway? Please believe me when I tell you THIS WILL NOT KEEP THE RIGHT ONE/ONES AWAY FROM YOU. I firmly believe in what Dancer says about H being a great wingman. It is a great way to weed out the jerks! Yes, you were robbed of a future free of H, and that sucks, but you were not robbed of your future! You still have it, it is still right there in front of you, and it can still be great. I'm new here, too. And yes, I am still struggling to accept this. Really struggling! Particularly because of the timing. The timing seemed incredibly unfair. Like you, I was celibate for years! I waited and waited and finally met the man I feel I waited my whole life to meet… and guess what… before we had any chance to be intimate, I experienced my first O.B. I was terrified. I was pretty sure I knew what kind of man he was, but, still! How could I know for sure?!? I knew I had to put my terror aside and tell him right away, because I had to know one way or the other. Long success story short, I told him that I wanted to be with him more than anything, but didn't think I could, because I just found out I have H, and I didn't ever want him to get it. His response was basically "That's all? That's all it is? You would let THAT keep us from being together? Please-don't let it keep us from being together!" I can tell you that it only brought us closer. If it is the wrong person- it may drive them away. But if it's the right person, it will bring you closer. Shinein09, please know that you can still have an amazing future! It really is true- if this makes someone walk away from you, then they absolutely do not deserve you! You've got to try to believe that! An H disclosure is a great way to measure a person's character. I learned that very quickly. It may take time to find the right guy, or it may not! You could meet the right guy tomorrow! One never knows!
  21. Hey, Anyone in CT? I'm female, late 30's. New here, new to all of this, and still in a state of shock!
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