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JessikaRabbit89

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  1. Thank you ladies and you're both absolutely right. He was actually a dog I learned. I wasn't the only girl he was talking to and that scares me because idk if he was having sex with other women unprotected or not and now I have to go through this ordeal of being tested for STDs again and it just feels like a nightmare. I am so disgusted with myself. I read these articles about how the more people you sleep with the more likely you develop diseases like HIV or oral cancer and now I'm more paranoid than ever. Idk why I even read into these things I know all it does it give me bad anxiety. Luckily I am moving to Maryland soon, 4 hours away from everything I'm used to. I'm so ready to leave the past here and start over fresh someplace else and have a brand new outlook on life. I am no longer making love my priority its all about me now. Thats how it should have been all along... xoxo
  2. So earlier I wrote a post about meeting a lovely guy who accepted my herpes and was willing to go further with me, even waited months until I was comfortable to get intimate with him...well we had sex and the next day everything took a toll for the worst. He became less talkative. Normally I get "good morning babe" texts and this time, nothing. Whenever I texted him he gave quick replies. I went to check a message I recieved from the dating site we met on and what do ya know? Hes online! Totally disgusted, ashamed, angry and feeling deeply betrayed I confronted him, probably not in the best manner due to my emotions.. He said he was online for the same reason as me, simply checking a message he recieved, nothing more. Then he went as far as saying he thinks I have serious trust issues and that we shouldn't continue dating. Why didnt you tell me this BEFORE we had sex?!? To make matters worse, he probably has a high chance of getting herpes himself now, because the condom tore and it was like a repeat of the night when I became infected. My skin became irritated from the penetration so I'm pretty sure he has been exposed. I tried not to think too much about it, trying to move on by starting conversations with random attractive men to boost my confidence. One guy in particular seemed great until I told him I was herpes+. He quickly turned the other cheek. Now I'm back to square one. Lonely. Feeling stupid. Worthless. Like I'll never be good enough to anyone. I made this man wait because I wanted to make sure he was worth it, and he STILL used me. How could I be so naive? I even sent him a long sincere apology about jumping to conclusions and making excuses for him because I thought he was this amazing guy and our chemistry was like no other. He was like a really good charmer it seems. Anywho, if I could get some kind words to keep me going I would greatly appreciate it. You all have helped me tremendously. I just need to try and forgive and forget...
  3. I just talked to him. Major success!!! He's okay with everything and I feel like I'm on cloud 9 right now. I am on daily suppressive therapy so hopefully that will keep everything in check for sexy time. This is the happiest day I've had since this whole experience. I have to thank you for giving me the confidence I needed to have this talk. As far as the H Opp event goes! I can actually drive there. Its only about 3-4hours away. But financially I just moved and I have a trip coming up so money will be tight :/ it sounds like it would be an amazing time!!!! And @bent, your time will definitely come! Trust me. Everyone has someone for them, no matter what their condition may be. We just have to start loving ourselves and know we are still worthy of love and then others will start to see it too. Thats how I look at it. :)
  4. I can't help but be afraid to talk to him too much about it because I dont want him to start freaking out. Though he has a very laid back and open minded personality, the moment I told him I had herpes he only asked what did it mean for us as far as sex goes. He didn't get awkward about it at all. He does admit to not knowing much about it and I am worried if I give him all of the details he will back out which at this point would be pretty heartbreaking. :/ Another thing I worry about is...well...the size of his...yeah. I'm afraid to have sex and that triggering an outbreak. A guy whos more well endowed would likely cause one wouldnt it? Or will antivirals keep that under control also?
  5. I have had herpes for 6 months now and I must admit life has gone back to normal. I suffer less outbreaks, and I am starting to go out and enjoy myself again. I have even found a new love in the process, something that in the beginning I thought would never happen. He doesn't have herpes either, which makes me happy because he is able to see past my condition and accept me as I am. At the same time though it scares me to think there could ever be even a slight chance of infecting him, but even after mentioning that possibility to him, he didnt budge. We have a bond and relationship like nothing I have ever experienced before. We have the same birthday (both turned 25 this year), so we are practically the same person just anatomically opposite lol. We share the same ideas, dreams, interests, with slightly different opinions on certain things but thats what makes it work so well. Although things are going fast romantically, we havent passed that threshold of being intimate, mainly because of me. I tell him I want to wait because I really like him, which I do and I'm impressed that he's actually willing to wait, but it all goes back to being afraid of "contaminating" him. I really want this to work, I'm pretty optimistic and so is he. We are both hopeless romantics falling pretty hard for eachother but I just dont want us sleeping together solely off of infatuation and then he regrets it after the fact...
  6. I thought I was one of the lucky ones to have an ob only in one general area but since I've had it (almost 6 months now) I noticed now I even get them on my inner thigh and clitoris which is the worst because thats already super sensitive but yeah I know what you're going through and coconut nut/tea tree oil really does help soothe the lesions when they appear mine usually clears up within 2-3 days tops.
  7. I'm from Virginia Beach and have had herpes for 5 months now. I have met locals with H but I am looking to meet more people near me. I am totally fine with making friends all over as well. :)
  8. I rarely drink carbonated drinks. I used to drink wine on a daily basis even with herpes and had no issues for a good while. So im guessing it has to be the chocolate since it seems to only happen after eating it. Chocolate is my weakness lol. I told my dr about PHN and he says it can very well be a result of HSV2. He said it can last anywhere from a few hours to days to months to life. Just depends on the person and how the nerves are affected. I pray to God its a temporary trigger.
  9. Yeah I have only been with this company for 4 months now so I'm relatively new. I dont feel comfortable enough with them to tell of my situation. I'm also pretty depressed at this time too because this is the worst outbreak I've had since my very first. It hurts to walk or use the restroom and its just a miserable experience I thought I was able to beat. I feel like I may need mental therapy to get used to this. There are days I am strong and able to conquer it and days like today where I just want to stay in bed. :(
  10. Up at 3AM because of this. Wanted to know if anyone has had any complications from herpes so bad they have missed countless days from work and how that worked out. During my first ob, I had to take a whole week off which clearly put a dent in my pay. I had been thankful not to have missed any days since until 2 days ago when I couldnt deal with the nerve pain mentioned in my previous post. Now im afraid I may have to miss another day due to the pain from the lesion thats formed in my genital area and the overactive nerves that are still sharp and sporadic but not as often. Once again I feel like no matter what, I just cant seem to find comfort or relief, even with the use of pain medication...(maybe its not strong enough?)I also dont want to be heavily medicated either. Idk what to do, I work for a good company and I dont want to lose my job, but I cant exactly tell my boss "hey I'm having an outbreak so cant make it in", plus that would only work so many times before they terminate me for too many absences. I'm stuck in a hard place right now. I dont want to be looked at as an unreliable employee but with the type of work I do it requires me to stand for long periods and stay active which I'm clearly in no condition to do.
  11. missed you too! @WCSDancer I knew you or someone here would have all the answers and know just what to do. Okay so L-lysine. Got it. I was always skeptic of taking it but I have probably had a total of 6 outbreaks since November, some extremely mild and cleared up in a day or two and some that were extremely annoying. This was has been the worst since my very first ob and the nerve pain still hasnt disappeared yet... @Danaaaaaasaur, did you get PHN from herpes or did you have Shingles? Just curious..my doctor prescribed me Ultram for the pain but it just passes me out.
  12. I get my meds through Costco they sell them at wholesale price. Its super convenient as I just recently started a new job and have to wait for my insurance to kick in, paying $17 bucks for 3 months supply is the best thing since sliced bread. Talk to your dr about sending your prescriptions over to a Costco or Sams Club pharmacy if you have them in your area. Its even cheaper if you become a member at their stores. Or you can go to PlannedParenthood they have antivirals at a lower cost than other pharmacies also.
  13. wow thats very pleasing to know this is all temporary. i know my body is still adjusting to it. typically i have high tolerance for pain, or so i thought. its crippling and leaves me absolutely miserable. the pain has eased up since yesterday, of course right before my dr appointment the symptoms get better. but i now have a lesion so at least the dr will take my situation a little more serious. I never have lesions when I visit my doc so as far as they're concerned, it wasnt that bad.
  14. Lol most definitely. Thank you for the feedback im relieved to know I'm not the only one experiencing this ordeal. Greatly appreciated it. **hugs**
  15. Well well, I guess the sharp nerve pain was the prodromal symptoms. Now I'm itchy down there and I accidentally scratched too rough and tore a little skin so now its even more painful than before. Ugh. Time to double up on the good ol' Valtrex. I'll keep what you mentioned in mind for my next nerve episode though. Anything to reduce the severity of it helps.
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