Herpeppotomus

I speak from experience when I confirm that they are way more open sexually here. it starts from the fact that this is a "kissing culture" (when you meet a friend of the opposite sex or even stranger you kiss them on the cheek/s). with it being the case that their personal bubble even for strangers is literally up to a few inches from their mouths, just imagine how much easier/quicker the timeline it would be to make out with someone who you like. that said, the quickness and willingness to make out with someone here isnt indicative of the quickness/willingness that they will go home with you. This is a mistake made when Americans stereotype Brazilian women as being "easy." What they dont realize is just how casual kissing is here and thus that it doesnt reflect necessarily sexual timelines. Think of a ruler. if the left side of the ruler is the time you first meet someone, and the right side is the time where you have sex, brazilians will often make out with someone around the 1-3 range. Kissing isnt indicative of sex. whereas Americans, who have inherited a core of social values which are puritan in nature (Americans even banned coffee once because they were afraid of sinning by being addicted to it!), have to blue ball it up to around 10-11 range before kissing. Once that happens the floodgates are open for sex. It interesting the mindset american woman have. they will dance on a complete stranger much more sexually than typical brazileiras, yet when you try to kiss them they almost get offended like "hey, i'm not a slut!". The differences in religious background is somewhat interesting i think as Brazil has been far more historically influenced by catholicism than by protestant, let alone puritan, streams. That said, usually after 1 or 2 times kissing, girls would be willing to hook up here, though this of course depends on the girl. Anyway, @adrial, i hope what your brazilian nurse friend said is true. I hope to find out soon.

@hippyherpy and @aep001 - yes i definitely agree that disclosing actually can help your game because in disclosing you are being self effacing and vulnerable, and these things garner trust. hence, my 5/6 more or less success rate. i was doing good disclosing for a while and fell off the wagon. I have to get on it again. On another note, I am currently in Brazil and don't know what kind of social stigma exists around this issue here. Anyone know?

I just posted a new post asking for more info on Brazil and the social stigma here. Lets talk more about this. Is it really taken as casually as that link above suggests? It wouldn't surprise me..

I am in Brazil and wanting to disclose to people here. But before I do, does anyone have any experience living in Brazil enough to know what kind of social stigma is associated with it here? How is it reacted to in general here? Thanks

Any groups in Brazil?

@hippyherpy - you said waaay above that some docters have told you not to disclose until a serious relationship is a in sight. but this runs the risk of the chic freaking out on you (possibly legally) once she finds out you have been sleeping with her when dating casually without having disclosed, exposing her to that risk without her consent. have you, or anyone, disclosed after sleeping with someone and how did it go? i myself have disclosed to about 6 would be partners ( none in the moment) and only 1 chose not to be sexual with me (though it was overall positive as she expressed a lot of respect, still went out w me that night and even slept w me (no sex) and all that and only let me down later with the ole "I'm dating someone else now" but of course i wonder how much my GHSV2 (rarely any outbreaks and on acylcover) affected her choice as we most definately would have banged were it not for my refusing her prior to disclosure. since then unfortunately, iv slipped back into the ways of non disclosure. like hippy i am into the "casual" and even swing lifestyle (though i havent done the latter officially yet). though i am always on meds, rarely get outbreaks, and (almost) always wear a condom, i have not been disclosing lately and feel terrible despite the risks being low. simply bc i do not know at any given time if i am shedding. also, the condom is a mute point for herpes specific risk reduction (though still for others risks yes i know) bc my exposure was on my scrotum. like i said i feel really shitty (like its the worst thing iv ever done and continue to do kind of shitty) about this especially the longer the casual hookup scenario plays out. my understanding is that risk of transmission is reduced to 5% with me as i dont factor in the condom affect. i also dont want to have to belabour the point about how a condum wont reduce the risk (for herpes) for fear of freaking them out more. in the past, iv just said the meds and the 5% bit (unless its a more drawn out convo). but is the 5% for two sexually active regular partners over the course of a year?? my understanding was that it was for any sexual encounter, it would have that risk associated with it. if the former, it implies that the risk is much lower for casual encounters. in short, am i needlessly feeling guilty for non disclosures in these encounters? and second, has anyone disclosed after the act? i feel much better for having disclosed, and have had generally positive experiences, though i have never tried in a casual scenerio for fear of rejection and bc of the anonymity being casual provides.

What is the westren blot test please? Thx

Yes i appreciate all of the above thanks. However, i am just concerned about even mentioning the condom use percentage reduction because i think, in my case, it's a mute point. It would just be to gloss over the fact that where i might be most likely to transmit isn't protected by the condom.

Thanks that makes sense. So is it possible to shed from elsewhere?

So given that as you said the virus is likely to shed in the place of my initial outbreak and that that place isn't covered by the condom, is it a) accurate to tell a girl that her chances of getting it from me while i am on anti virals and wearing a condom is 2.5%, and b) is there a point of wearing a condom to protect against transitting HSV2, that is, is there still a greater than mere theorhetical chance (the kind that exists but, according to Dr. Loene, ought not deter from unprotected oral sex) of sheding on other parts of my penis?

Are there other locations for opportunity weekends, such as bay area or LA, california? Otherwise, i am interested in organizing a support group or meetup in my area, both to support others, and myself, as i currently know no one else who has it (or more likely, who knows they have it). Any suggestions (ie via planned parenthood, meetup, etc)? Thanks

Hey everyone. I would like a h buddy in my area too. I currently live in carmel, california.

Torres- Yes i contracted while wearing a condom. Dancer- And i understand the probability of transmission with no condoms and no medicine. And i understand it with the use of both. But what about with just the use of medicine (since my main area of concern is unprotected by the condom anyway)?

Yes, I was wearing a condom when I got it. My initial (and maybe only) outbreak was on the scrotum, unprotected by the condom obviously. I'm glad you are bringing this up because other than my post yesterday, this is the only time I've seen it mentioned. But it needs to be said, since skin on skin contact is all you need, the condom is utterly irrelevant for non-shaft genital areas. Apparently there are things such as labial condoms for woman, and latex pants for men which aim to address this (i'd probably rather take my chances then use the pants, lol). So then the question becomes, what is the likelyhood of shedding/transmitting while on virals but not using a condom (e.g. for the scrotum, etc)?

Also, what's the best H+ dating website?

It does thank you. Also, is there anything like an in home swab test i can use to determine if i am currently shedding?

I'm glad we are raising the issue of casual sex. Most disclosure discussions seem to assume or imply monogamy . For most of my life I haven't been interested in monogamy, nor do I want it to be something I'm forced into due to my HSV2. On the other hand, nor do I like the feeling of maybe possibly infecting someone without their knowledge. That's why this discussion is important. That said, I'd like to chime in by seconding all those who say that disclosing before potential sexual contact is actually likely to produce a positive response in your potential partner. After about a year of having HSV2, I've only recently been able to find the courage to risk the chance of rejection or not getting laid by first disclosing to my potential partner. I've done this 5 times now. Each time the person in question ended up deciding to be sexual with me anyway, or to continue to spend time with me still with expressed interest. My latest example of this was yesterday morning when, in anticipation of our evening plans together, I disclosed over the phone to her (doing it in advance like this is best I think because it gives her some time to process before seeing you and prevents any awkward abrupt buzz kill disclosures later- even though in person is better I agree). Her response was that she was "impressed with my maturity" and still very attracted to me. That night she told me straight forward how much she appreciated it and that she chose to hang with me that night over 2 other options! She also told me that she didn't even read the informational flyer and video I sent her- she deleted them. When I asked why, she said just because she trusted me. So it wasn't the de-taboo-izing information about genital herpes that led her to remain interested or even gain in interest. It was the very act of self effacing vulnerability that honest disclosure is! And this wasn't someone I've known for a long time, or who will necessarily become a serious girlfriend, but only a second date! Since I knew we would have jumped each other's bones that night otherwise, and since I didn't want to without disclosing (after a year of doing that I can't take it anymore), I knew I had to tell her. And while I didn't get laid last night, she still wanted me to sleep (sleep sleep) with her. And it feels worlds better than if I had gotten laid but hadn't disclosed. Disclosing is scary because we know it reveals what we may feel to be our most unattractive quality, and thus reason for rejection. It does potentially. But it also reveals some of our most attractive qualities- strength, vulnerability, depth, maturity, confidence, ability to care for another person over ourselves. How the disclosee responds, I suppose, depends on the extent he/she feels these latter qualities outweigh the former. But that you can't control. So just represent yourself as well as you can and hope for the best I guess (but isn't that just what you'd do regardless of HSV?). Anyway, I have a few questions hoping someone can shed some light. 1) What do you think of these supposed new age virus cures (e.g. Various herbal and oil detoxes)? 2) Is there anything a non-HSV partner can take to ensure she will not receive the virus if I am shedding? I realize there is not yet a vaccine. 3) Will the HPV vaccine still be affective for me at 29? The doc tells me no but then Dr. Leone implied that it would even at 50. Also, if I have HPV is the vaccine still applicable? Also, it needs to be said that since there is no such thing as a scrotum condom, you can still pass on or receive HSV while wearing a condom. I WAS WEARING A CONDOM when I got HSV, I believe, since my initial outbreak was on the scrotum. Therefore I really don't see what the point of a condom is for those who can shed through scrotal skin. Therefore, perhaps someone can elucidate: 4) does shedding occur only where you've had an outbreak or anywhere in the genital region due to the skin being thinner there?