Fairisle

Oh boy.. The only thing I can say is that honestly in this case is probably the best policy (as I believe is almost always the case) whatever you do, don't make excuses for yourself and allow her to be angry at you and to have whatever feelings she has about it. Tell her that it was a mistake and that you love her and want to stay together, but be prepared for her to need space. My advice is to allow her whatever she needs to recover. People have worked through infidelity in the past, it's possible that you can too. The only thing worse than owning up to it is her finding out another way.. Your truthfulness now and how you choose to handle the fall out determines whether or not your marriage stands a chance. Goodluck, be well!

Very interesting! Thanks :)

Firstly, let me dispel the myth about being "clean" or "dirty", hsv is a VIRUS not unlike any other virus one can catch, it does not discriminate and people who have it are not dirty. But I digress, Im literally in pain knowing that you stayed with a man who took advantage of you, this person doesn't deserve you, herpes or no herpes. Your chances of finding Prince Charming are still as high as they've ever been! Trust me when I tell you this, there are many people out there who are loving and accepting just waiting to meet you. Some of the veterans on this site have some amazing stories as proof of this. If you haven't already, scroll through and read some of their stories. I really hope that this pain you feel emotionally subsides and that you realize that you are a great person and are worthy of love! Herpes doesn't change that! Please take care of yourself <3

You didn't do it! It's okay! You seem to know it would've been a mistake if you did end up sleeping with him without telling him - judging by the title of your post. Don't be so hard on yourself, urges are natural and you certainly aren't lacking a conscience. If you're worried about being in that position again, stay away from places where sex is a possibility.

@ihaveittoo I'm glad you ended up at a better workplace! Water is amazing, I feel that the majority of people (including myself some days) don't drink enough of it!

I don't know about anyone else but from my person experience I do pee a lot right before and at the beginning of an OB. The earliest symptoms I have mimic a UTI all except obvious pain in my tailbone vs the pain which is more front and centre in my lower abdominal region when I have a UTI. How did you contract hsv?

In the words of hamlet "ah there's the rub".. Stress! My BIGGEST trigger, unfortunately for me life is filled with stressors.. :( boo

Reading your story made me tear up in the best way! I'm so happy for you! :D

This is absolutely fantastic!!!!

Haha tea is amazing! The caffeine is minimal even in black tea, I think it's like 3 cups to 1 cup of coffee maybe even less. It's great that you have family to talk it out with, I've yet to tell my brother . I've told my mom just the other day and she seemed to take it well and was very motherly about the whole thing, there's a part of me that's afraid that she will treat me like I'm diseased when we stay in the same house though. I hope my fear doesn't turn out to be true..

@ann122 thanks girl, I think we're in the same boat.. I've been living with hsv for a little over a year and it's getting a little easier. This forum is helping loads and I'm glad I found it! Everyone on here is so compassionate and it makes me feel more connected, which is something I haven't really felt in a long time, probably due to feeling like I was keeping a secret from the world. (my hsv) Stress during exams is really tough, this is what I believe brought about my most recent ob , which I'm still currently dealing with. Key is to pamper yourself! Warm sitz bath and a tea works for me (even though I've read that ppl with hsv should avoid caffeine) :P

Definitely! Please do :)

Let's squash it! *puts on game face*

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5295/depression-#Item_8 scroll to where @WCSDancer2010 posted the links..

My hair falls out when I take antivirals but I take them regardless when I need them.. I wouldn't do well on suppressive therapy mind you. If the skin is red and sore, there's a good possibility that you may have another sore about to surface. I recommend taking valtrex/acyclovir even with the hair thinning, you hair will come back as soon as you stop taking the meds and the meds will drastically reduce the length of your OB. Wear loose clothing and use abreva or something like it to reduce your external symptoms. @WCSDancer2010 linked me a fantastic list of herpes treatments in my latest post. Is this your first OB? They say the first outbreak is the worst.. From my personal experience, it's definitely true. You can definitely live a normal life.. becoming down is far too easy to do when you have herpes and even easier due to the stigma that surrounds it. I'm personally extremely grateful for this forum, I've only been here for 1 day and already see a drastic change in my outlook on life with herpes. Take care of yourself!

Ugh I can not stand the stigma surrounding such a common virus.. I remember the first time I had to go to the drugstore to get something to alleviate some of my external symptoms (itching etc) and I asked the pharmacist if they had anything for genital herpes and asked her what she recommends. She responded by saying they only have medication and treatments for oral "cold sores" and that I would have to consult my physician.. Which I had already done and was already taking acyclovir and just wanted something to help the itch and treat my open wounds.. I didn't bother explaining this to the pharmacist and ended up leaving the drugstore baffled and confused by the fact that the drugstore apparently had nothing to help people with genital herpes. @wcsdancer2010

@WCSDancer2010 - Thank you for the links! Yeah, I'm a bit of a newbie, I love sitz baths though and abreva (not even sure if it's meant for the genitals, but I use it there anyway since it works wonders on my lip)

My partner gave me genital herpes via oral sex.. I found out after the fact that this is actually the most common way of spreading HSV1. I think letting your partner know about the test result is definitely important and then simply practice safe sex. (especially oral) @WCSDancer2010 - great response, thanks for posting that video!

Your situation is definitely a difficult one, but rest assured that there are loving and accepting people out there. You can use your situation as a "filter" to filter out those who are unwilling to be accepting of you because those people are just not right for you anyway. I know it's easier said than done.. but try to keep your head up and know that 1. There's nothing wrong with you, you ARE NOT damaged 2. You deserve love

Firstly, thank you both for your responses! @malicepalace - thank you for your words of wisdom! @WCSDancer2010 - my outbreaks aren't usually very intense, they generally consist of a single bump or just swelling and mild flu like symptoms.. I take my vitamins and live a generally healthy lifestyle (aside from my pizza addiction:)) I'm not on suppressive anti-virals as I react badly to them (exhaustion, hair loss etc) but I have taken them when I've felt an OB coming on in the past. My medicine cabinet was all out of acyclovir and/or valtrex this time around though. :(

Your story is beyond inspiring and has moved me beyond words. So glad to hear that you're doing better :)

If it were me, I'd dab a bit of abreva on it. :) I personally don't take my antivirals unless my outbreak is bad (more than 2-3 sores) as I react negatively to them. (exhaustion and hair loss yay) I also find that taking a warm sitz bath with saline water (salt water) helps. If you're concerned that it may be yeast or BV - treat with anti-fungals, monistat or canesten. Feel better soon! <3

I'm currently going through my 4th or 5th outbreak ever, but this is the worst since my initial OB. I'm a student and haven't been to class in 2 days, I've missed a test and my school has a very strict policy about rewrites, requiring doctors notes etc.. This puts me in a tough spot especially since we're nearing the holidays and getting in to see a doctor at this point is extremely difficult. I'm feeling like my body has turned against me. I'm moody and I'm beginning to believe that I may even be slipping into a depression.. My partner (who gave me HSV through oral sex) doesn't seem to understand and blames me for my bad moods. He says he loves me but doesn't seem empathetic toward me.. I would really love to speak to someone who understands my frustration... or at the very least sympathizes.

I'm 27 living in Toronto Ontario Canada eh! I've had herpes for just over a year now (not sure if hsv1 or hsv2 but most likely hsv1 as it was contracted through oral sex) I'm really glad I found this support group and hope to make some buddies! I'm currently going through my 4th or 5th OB but this has been the worst since the first one.. :( I'm a student and haven't been to class in 2 days, I'm dealing with teachers asking for doctors notes etc.. (I missed a test) It's all just so overwhelming..