AshleyS

2.5 years in and I hardly even remember until I have to take my daily suppression, but then I go on about my day like any other. I try to no longer allow myself to be ashamed. Do I have my days, of course, I'm only human, but they are far and few between now. A few people who are close to me know. If I'm ever really down, they remind me it could always be worse. And it could have been. H has made me a better person in an odd/strange way. I now know my body better, I am no longer afraid to be honest about anything, and I am happier. Happier than I ever was before I was diagnosed. And its made me be more open minded about other people as well, and what they've been through. This experience has definitely had its silver lining. Best wishes.

I take valacyclovir (the generic brand of acyclovir) daily (once a day), and have been for over a year now. I haven't had any issues being on it. Whenever I get sick my doctor tells me to make sure I don't miss doses because it can help since it's an anti-viral medicine, and most sicknesses are viral infections. Everyone does react differently to everything, but I hope what you are experiencing isn't a reaction to the medicine. If it is, I believe there are different ones out there you can try too. Hope you feel better! Best wishes.

I ask because I've never known it to last very long, unless one is having outbreaks one right after the other. I'm sorry you're going through this!

Are you taking any antivirals?

It's been almost 2 yrs and its been one heck of a ride !! After being diagnosed with herpes, my life got dark but I tried my best to stay positive .. Boy, was it hard . I threw myself in a life I didn't want, but found my way back about a few months ago .. After disclosing back in January, It was a little life changing .. Although, things didn't work out in the end with that person, I felt a little better . And it made me see some light . I eventually ended up getting back with my ex-fiancé, and am happy as can be, with life in general . SHOCKER !! He accepts with what happened while we were apart, and was really with me through the entire ordeal when I broke down over it ! After all that happened between us, he didn't care and still loved me for me, and wasn't scared away . I have been so busy caught up in life, being a mother, working and focusing on my relationship, I don't have time to even dwell on having the herpes! I have my little reminder every day when I take my suppression meds, but I forget about it a few seconds after . I've learned to accept that it's a part of my life now, and not let it get me down . Now, I'm not saying I don't have those days were I never dwell, because I do, but I try not to think about it often . Sure, if I was a little bit smarter around that time, I wouldn't have to worry about anything, but things happen .. I'm more happy with myself now than I was before being diagnosed . I never thought I would . I'm lucky that all I ended up with was the herpes and nothing more serious, and for that I'm grateful . :) It's truly changed my life, and not for the worse .

Blah - I can wipe the sweat from my forehead and breathe a little easier now! I finally opened up to him, let him in and he was amazing, just absolutely amazing! And let me tell you, it was the hardest thing I've ever done!! Harder than telling my giver what he did to me! I've seen the disclosure video, read other people's disclosure stories, read as much as I could regarding it, and with all of that, I still fumbled over my words. I felt like my heart was going to explode right before it popped out of my mouth! He knew something was up, he saw me shaking a little, and asked what was wrong. I tried so hard to stay positive and not sound negative (NOT EASY for the first time), but he just looked at me and said "okay".. I asked him how he felt and he said that he didn't care, "lots of people have it", and we would just have to be careful! He asked a few questions but we didn't get into depth conversation. When I get extremely nervous, I talk too much.. I did in this case, but things were okay. He listened, let me get it off my chest, and just said it didn't matter. That matter the most to me. That means a lot. I was worried about the length of time I waited to tell him, but he was okay. He said he was wondering why but now he understands. I explained that I wish I had the guts to tell him sooner, but I had to make sure I was okay with it first before I told him. Goodness, I'm so relieved! Opening up and being vulnerable about something so personal and private like this was so hard, I really hope to not have to do it again anytime soon, but to know that he looks past that makes it all worth it! I know deep down that regardless of what happens in our relationship in the future, he made me a lot stronger person, and I'm SOOO grateful for that! I probably couldn't have done it without everyone here too! Reading the stories, seeing everyone go through similar situations as I did and come out strong on the other side is comforting, and I thank everyone for sharing their stories with me! It means a lot. Thank you!


Good luck ! I'm also disclosing, in an hour or so (when he gets off work and we go out) ! It's scary and quite frankly, I want to just run, but It's been a while and I think it's time . You're on date #3, I'm 10 months in ... I wanted to wait to open up about it until I knew for sure that I was okay with it myself . I feel it's the right time, me and the guy can finally take the next step if it goes well ! Thoughts are with you and good luck, even though you won't need it ! :)

Goodness, it's been a year since I started dating my giver and have been diagnosed . We have since broke up and I've been trying my best to accept what has happened and move on . I've tried dating, but things have always ended so abruptly . I've been dating this one guy since May, non-exclusively, and it's been great . He's NOT pushy at all and understands boundaries . His friends, however, aren't making things easy by getting in his head and telling him I'm leading him on because I won't make it official . Well, there's a reason, he knows that - he just doesn't know what that reason is . I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and I really want to finally let him in, BUT ... all I can do is think about getting rejected . I've been hurt by my giver, and another person I loved so much, I don't want to get hurt AGAIN ... UGH - whenever I think about it, I just want to push him away, and keep him at arms length .. BUT then I think of how wonderful a person he is, and how accepting he has been thus far, maybe he can accept me for the worse too . IDK - it's WAY too much to handle some times . He's going away for 2 weeks, and I was wondering if I should tell him on the day we're suppose to see each other before he leaves . Maybe that will give him some time while he's away to digest it and make his decision without any pressure, but then I don't want that weighing on his mind while he's gone . I've tried to talk to my friends about it, but NONE of them understand, NONE of them have what I do . I've accepted that I have herpes, I can't change it . It happened to me, but it's not who I am . Everyone I have shared it with has been so accepting and understanding, it's made having herpes a little easier . I'm hoping he accepts me ... UGH, just thinking about it makes my head hurt . I'm not ready to be vulnerable again .

I think a H-Buddy would be great .. Some of my friends know about me having the "h", but they'll never understand the every day struggle I go through trying to deal with it . It's been almost a year since diagnosis and I still can't get a positive grasp on it, had another break down last night regarding it .. It would be wonderful to talk to someone who knows what I'm going through .. I live in the Rocky Mountain Region .

Does anyone else still get contacted by their giver ? Mine feels the need to text me every so often and it's always during a time where I'm beginning to feel at peace with everything .. But when he texts me, I feel hatred all over again .

@Carlos - Thank you for sharing this link . Having herpes and struggling with it each day has become such a hassle . I've only read a few paragraphs on the site, and I'm already going to give this to the guy I'm seeing when I feel it's time to disclose to him .

The last 5 months have been such a HUGE roller coaster .. but all in all, I've had such an amazing support system . When I found out I had HSV-2, I thought my entire world ended . Telling my boyfriend (now ex) that I was just diagnosed with this after we had the STD talk, was frightening . But things went great, he infected me, and couldn't really hold anything against me . We were going to be okay .. But it all ended a little over a month later . He cheated on me, quite a bit too . I don't understand how you can alter someone's life so drastically and still continue to hurt them when they were so understanding and forgiving . Well, even though our relationship ended, we still slept together . I couldn't even think about being with someone else, putting them at risk just didn't sit well with me . No way I can ever put someone through what I went through . It's just NOT okay . Things changed when I started seeing someone else . Just getting to know this new person, not rushing .. It still bothered me that my ex was texting me from time to time, and acting like nothing happened . Well needless to say, the other person was a Stage 5 clinger, so I ended it right then and there . Thank god I didn't disclose anything, that would not have been good for my nerves . Well, after I slammed the breaks on that dating experience, my ex and I started talking again . I ran into him at the bar, and that flame was instantly lit . All the memories (which were painful to remember) came back full force, and I ended up crying myself to sleep that night . I still can't wrap my head around what he did . It just isn't fair that he completely changed my life and has no remorse what so ever . Well, the following Monday, he texted me . We planned on getting together . We ended up getting into a huge fight because he refuses to take any responsibility for our relationship going south .. Real mature of him . Then I found out he's in a new relationship with an 18 year old girl . Talk about instant punch in the stomach . I froze, my blood boiled . My poor friend tried everything in her power to calm me down . Instead of exploding, I imploded .. Made a complete ass out of myself .. He texted me to see what I did that night .. When I got to work that night, my co-worker and I were talking about my night .. Around midnight we cut one of the servers because we were dead .. I walk over to her section, and low and behold, he's sitting at one of her tables, with a girl that was NOT his girlfriend . And 4 am the next morning, who did he text ?? Me . What a low life piece of work !! I can't believe he's already into his old ways not even a day after they get together . I feel bad . This poor girl is going to get crushed when she finds out how big of a cheated he is .. And what's even worse, if they sleep together, he's putting her at risk like he did me .. I'm not sure I can live with myself if he hurts anyone else . But do I tell her ? Is it my duty to inform his new girlfriends ? No one informed me .. Everyone left me hanging, but I'm not sure I can just let that happen to her . But then again, how do I tell her without her freaking out on me . She's already got enough on her plate, she doesn't need this happening to her .. But then again, I'm not sure it's my place .. I'm still crushed that he, once again got inside and hurt me, but it's no one else's fault but my own ..

3 months ago, I was diagnosed with herpes... I remember when the doctor told me she believed that's what it was, I felt like my entire world came crashing down. I was terrified of what my boyfriend would think if the test came back positive, we just had this conversation about a week or two before. While I waited impatiently for the test to come back, it took all my will power to avoid seeing him for a week because I knew what it would have led to if I did see him (we were still in the honeymoon phase). I cried uncontrollably on and off the entire time. The doctor was worried because of how much weight I lost from not eating, I was too stressed out to even think about eating. She tried to reassure me that everything was going to be okay, and that it wasn't like I went out looking for this. She tried to tell me that it was unlikely for me to have gotten it from my boyfriend, because of how fast I had an outbreak. She said I more likely got it from my last one. I had only been with one other person unprotected, my children's dad. I went to him when he kept trying to get me to tell him what was going on, he to was worried about me losing so much weight so fast. He went and got tested, the test came back negative. That left one other person, my boyfriend. The day I got the results of my test back, was the same day I had the talk with my boyfriend. He just got back into town from work, and we had plans to hang out after I went to my friends. When I got to his house, he noticed I was a little distant. I had been crying at my friend's, she was trying to calm me down and reassure me that everything was going to be okay. I sat in his living room waiting for him to get done doing dishes. I started shaking, hyperventilating while I waited for him to come talk to me. I was terrified about his how his reaction may be. He sat down next to me and asked if everything was okay. He knew I had been "sick" and asked how the doctor's went. I told him. I made sure that he understood that he was the only person I could have gotten it from. He was really quiet, no reaction other than him saying it was a pretty fucked up situation. I asked him if he had any knowledge of potentially having it, or if he had been protected with all of the other girls he had slept with. He said he didn't know and that he was protected with the last one, yeah, but not every girl. I told him I would understand if he didn't want to be with me anymore, he said he wasn't going to leave me over something he could have given me. He said he was going to get tested (which he never did). We ended up having a good night... Then, things turned for the worse. He started acting weird, stopped calling/texting me as often, blew off plans to hang out, avoided me when we ran into each in public. It didn't make sense. We got into a huge fight at a bar because my sister and I caught him in a lie (trying to take another girl out on a date). Then 2 weeks later, I ended up breaking up with him because of another fight we had at the bar over him dancing with another girl that was beyond disrespectful to me. The more I think about his reaction when I told him he basically gave me herpes, the more I wonder why he was so cavalier about it.. He probably had an idea, but didn't care at all. I cried for an entire week on and off over him after our break up. Yeah, we were together for just 2 months, but the simple fact that he gave me herpes and doesn't give two shits about it is what is tearing me up !! 3 weeks had past without hearing from him, so I decided to send him a text message telling him I forgave him for what he did to me, and that I just hope he's being more careful with the next girl. He said he was really sorry, and that hoped I would find the guy I was looking for. We tried to be friends. We talked on and off for a week. It makes it harder for me to enjoy myself when I go on dates. Herpes is always in the back of my mind. I've been on 2 dates since he and I split. I can only see me being with one of the two guys, and actually opening up to him, but it makes it hard since he knows my giver. How do you tell someone that a friend of theirs gave you herpes ?? I'm so scared of the reaction, that it holds me back from seeing that person again. This town is so small that it's almost impossible to escape being with someone who knows him. What makes me so upset is a lot of my friends knew how he was, a cheater, liar, asshole, and no one bothered to relay the information to me. A guy who knows him asked how the heck does someone like me end up with someone like him. Then he made the comment that I could catch something from him.. Thanks bud, but you're a little late on that one (I didn't say that, but I thought it). I'm not out looking for a relationship, but I do not want this standing in my way. It's somewhat of a blessing, because it now forces me to actually take time and get to know someone else, and see if they can handle it, but it's also a curse because not everyone is going to understand. But as I see it, if you can't look past me having herpes then you don't get the honor of having me in your life. I'm not a bad person, I made a mistake. I shouldn't be punished for being trusting just because I was lied to.

My doctor said there was no way I could experience it so quickly but I had open wounds .. but I don't know. I'm still waiting on the results, which is causing loads of unwanted stress, I hate playing the waiting game on something so vital. My biggest fear is going back and telling my boyfriend I do actually have it, if that's the case. I don't want him to think I lied when I said I didn't, because I didn't know. He and his friends were just cracking jokes about herpes before I had this come up. I told my ex that I was being tested for it and it would be wise to go get tested too. To my surprise, he just said okay and gave me a hug, then reassured me everything will work itself out. He then made a joke how if he did have it, we would just have to get back together. It took a huge load off my shoulders, and I havent cried since I told him. He said something like this doesn't stand in the way of love, and that even if I do have it, it wouldnt make me any less of a person. He's been fantastic about the entire thing. He knew I was going back to the doctors because what I was told and thought was a razor burn was causing me so much pain, he told me to keep him posted. When I refused to tell him what the doctors said and what they were testing me for, he began to worry. I stopped eating, cried nonstop and just wanted to be alone. He kept pestering me to talk about it, but I wouldn't. He then started asking my sister what was going on, but she kept telling him to back off until I was ready to talk about it. I didnt want to say anything until I knew for certain that I did have it. I just dont know what to do ..

.. I'm waiting on my results from my cultural to see if I actually am positive for genital herpes. My boyfriend and I had sex, unprotected and oral, but I didn't know there was a chance I had genital herpes. He asked me if I had anything, and I just had a well woman check up, everything came back normal, and I have only ever been with one other person besides him unprotected. He's been with way more partners than me, all of whom I'm guessing was unprotected because he hates condoms, and my last relationship was 7 years. Is there a way to contract herpes so fast after being with someone ? I had really bad razor burn on my lady parts, so I had what my my doctor referred to as open wounds down there. Is there a possibility that when I had unprotected sex with him while having the razor burn, that I could have contracted it from him and then the lesions appear so quickly?