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DesignDiva

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  1. Smart girls are the over thinkers, the insecure ones, the different ones. They know what the real world is like. They analyze every little thing in life. Why? To avoid getting hurt. To find happiness. They stay up at night trying to think about every possible situation to get through all problems. They think too much. They trust less people. Their insecurity proves their respect toward themselves. Of course they live away from a drama-filled life. Smart girls know their worth, now that's the ones worth keeping by your side. Unknown quote
  2. Thank you for your kind words. I confess I am in a bit of a funk. I met a guy I really liked and on our fourth date I was bracing my self for the "talk". The whole time we dated I had this insecurity that was eating at me and I was never completely uncomfortable. There was one moment of crazy where I peaked in his medicine cabinet hoping for a Valtrex prescription. This is not my proudest moment. I lucked out. Turns out he wants to try and get serious with another girl he is dating and I am off the hook (yay me). I am happy for him and I want to be friends but I really don't like the insecure person that leaked out when we went from friends to dating. That is not who I am, at least not who I want to be. I really like what people have to say here, and I am looking forward to learning more.
  3. My 20 years anniversary is coming up, 20 years of having this virus anyway. I was engaged to a man who knew he had it but was afraid to tell me. You can imagine my surprise when I contracted it. After all these years, I get it. I understand it was hard for him to have that conversation and that he as scared. I honestly don't know what would have happened if he had told me. I know I would have done my research and been educated about my decision. It would have been nice to have had that chance. Long story short, I was never married and learned to live a different type of life. After 20 years of having the "talk" or relationships ending because my partner could never be comfortable with the risk, I think I quit. I have had my last talk where I watch as the look slowly changes on his face and I have to work hard to keep the heartache and disappointment at bay. I am just going to close up shop, stop waxing, and braid everything shut. If there's an H equivalent of a convent sign me up. Don't get me wrong, I want what every girl wants. To grow old with someone, to have lazy Sunday mornings and hold hands for no reason. It seems the only partners available on the H sites are gentlemen looking for friends with benefits or simply seeking someone different from me. Its been ten years since my last boyfriend and I think my fear of rejection has finally crippled me. I don't think I'll die alone or with a life unfulfilled. My life is amazing. It's just every once in a while I get lonely for the one thing it seems I will never have - a partner.
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