So I have had HSV2 for over 3 years now. When I initially found out I was devastated, terrified, my life is over, all that stuff. It has taken me 3 years (stuck to dating H+ ppl for the first 2 years) but I finally had the guts to make my first disclosure a couple of weeks ago. It was successful! It has really helped me see that it was my own beliefs about my worth (or lack of due to herpes) that had been holding me back. Not the skin condition itself.
However....
I had spent so much time focused on my fear of disclosure and being rejected that I didn't put much thought into how being in a relationship with an H- negative partner was going to feel. I know the chance of transmission is low with avoiding sex during outbreaks, condoms and medication BUT there still is a risk. Now all I can think about is how terrible I will feel if I pass this on. He isn't hung up about it, we don't even discuss it so I know I should accept that he has made an informed decision but I feel he is operating under the impression that if we are careful he won't get it. But he might!
I think my problem is I have been thinking about this with the idea that "The right person will accept me and want to be with me because they will realize it is silly to reject someone they care about over something that only has a 1% chance of happening". But now I'm realizing it could very well happen anyway and unless you are planing on getting married (It's only been a month of dating so no guarantees) how could you ask anyone to take the risk of having to deal with this for the rest of their life?
Has anyone had this issue when dating a H- partner? I feel like all my hard work of accepting myself and H was built around the idea that I would never give this to someone. The realization that I might is making me feel down and unworthy all over again :(