Bee

Hello JC81, It's a real pain in the hooch - I totally understand ;) In my experience daily suppression therapy with Valtrex (oral meds) is very helpful for controlling outbreaks, it also reduces some shedding during "non-outbreak" times. For many people outbreaks eventually start to dissipate with time - if nothing else, its something that you can likely look forward to. Hang in there, Bee

Oh and Ann...thats exactly what he said...it is what it is. :)

Thank you Ann! I appreciate your kind words. After much stress and a productive coaching session with Adrial...I disclosed to "him"...I was very nervous. I told him I had herpes from a past relationship and proceeded to explain what that meant in general and what it meant with me specifically...he interrupted me to say he had it too and knew quite a bit about it. He has type 1 (as far as he knows) and was planning to talk with me but he was super grateful (and a tad teary) that I had brought it up with him bc he was having trouble summoning the courage. This spawned a very frank convo about sexual health/history and family planning (well family avoidance haha). Long story short he said that he is relieved that we have the same thing (essentially). Wow hey? I have to say this was the first time that Ive had a convo of this nature that was this deep, mature, and honest; even more importantly for me, my disclosure was less shame based and more as a matter of fact based. This has definitely created a good start for trust and openness during our "getting to know each other" stage. Thank you everyone for sharing your own personal stories...you have all helped shaped my new belief that herpes does not define my character as a person and that there are people who understand.

Hello, I have had hsv since I was 19 yrs old...Im 41 now. Until 3 wks ago, I have been a pretty silent "sufferer" with an unhealthy amount of shame. In the past, Ive always had the disclosure convo with a potential partner and have had supportive, receptive responses. But every time I've had this convo, Ive been terribly apologetic, teary, and full of fear. Each time someone accepted this about me Ive felt very grateful and relieved, but at the same time Ive found myself wondering why they accepted this about me, as if something must be wrong with them....how messed up is that? So what happened about 3 wks ago? I disclosed to an old time friend, who said I am terribly hard on myself, that its really not THAT big of a deal. He suggested that I look into getting some support bc of the way it has damaged my self worth in the dating area of my life. In seeking support, I came across this site...here I've seen that there are ways of disclosing that are mature and positive, with empowering attitudes that have shed some light on my long-lived "hated condition". So what else happened 3 wks ago? Well, after a realllly long time of being single/celibate, I met someone I would like to be intimate with eventually and the time for disclosure is "looming". I understand that if he rejects me (or my hsv), he is just simply not "my guy"...but that doesnt feel all that consoling right now :) The fear of his rejection is causing anxiety...I hope he is the person Ive come to know as understanding. That said, I know that he may understand and still choose not to continue dating me for his own reasons. Im trying to look at this as an opportunity for me to practice something different...tell him this small personal detail in a way that is confident and mature. But I cant seem to stop obsessing about the impending conversation and all the terrible ways he may respond. Any feedback/guidance/words of wisdom is muchly appreciated. I sure wish I reached out for support on this topic wayyyy sooner in my life, thank you for being here. Cheers, Bee