Savashpar

@positivelybeautiful Thanks your the kind and wise words. I totally understand, he did not mean to do this, he feels bad. Also I have never told him I think he's gross or anything of the sort. I tried telling him that the reason I don't want to have sex has nothing to do with him, it's really about me emotionally and physically. I have thought about talking to someone, but yet come to find out one of my best friends has it too that I broke down to. I really do have a great support system. Family and friends and I'm very fortunate for that.

Last night my bf made me feel like im in the wrong.... I found out I have hsv1 genitally about 3 weeks ago from receiving oral from him. I think this week I'm back to normal with my symptoms at bay. Last week we had sex and it was really uncomfortable :( So all and all at this point I don't feel sexy, the last thing on my mind is sex, and I definitely not into having it. I feel like these feelings aren't uncommon from what I've been reading, and for me I just need some time to deal with things, and the new life I will lead. He's a way more touchy/ honery then I am throughout our whole relationship. He tried to get frisky on a few occasions yesterday and I turned him down. I don't want to, don't want to fake it.... I mean I feel like I shouldn't hold those feelings in. So he gets mad and says he doesn't want to hear about it, and I make him feel like he's discusting and leaves. He is a sweet man, thinks I'm sexy and loves me. But I just can't get back there yet. Has anyone been in this situation? I'm kinda at lose and feel like maybe I do just need time if I can't give him what he needs.

Thanks @WCSDancer2010 and @New_Moon. I know I'll be fine I just can't help but feel mad, I'll get over it. But I appreciate the kind words. IM finally feeling physically better so that is a huge plus.

So I'm at my friends for Super Bowl Sunday, having great food, drinks and company. I had too many cocktails and I crash out. My boyfriend comes in and wakes me up to fool around In the middle of the night. Well the next morning he gets out of the shower and notices he has a cold sore..... He said that that night he saw a little bump on his lip but though he had just bitten it and has not had a cold sore for a good 3 years. Well he had never told me he had them, and i have never had one. over the next few days I feel that there is something wrong. I can feel it. I make an appointment to see the dr. She is sweet and tells me that my symptoms don't look traditional but takes a culture to have tested. She gives me meds to treat herpes, along with books and websites to check out. This is leading me to believe that she thinks I'm positive. Well if I didn't know then, the very next day I knew. I was in a lot of pain, I had body aches, swollen lymph nodes, the whole lot. My results came back yesterday, positive for HSV 1. Not a shock but still hard to hear. I've have never had any other std, I've been with my bf for almost a year now. I'm mad, sad, hurting physical and emotionally. I feel of anyone I shouldn't have to be going through this with him, I could blame myself if I had acted reckless. I'm mad at him because very likely he will not have to go through the pain of these OB. Im mad at him for waking me up! If he would have let me sleep I more then likely would not be in this situation because he would know without a doubt he had a cold sore. I know he feels bad, he wants to be therefor me, comfort me. But is it bad that of all people I don't want his comfort? I don't know if I can come back from this with him. I don't want to be intimate, let alone really see him. To be honest I've been debating weather I want to be in this relationship for a few months now before this even happened. I'm lost, I don't know what to do. I feel kind of trapped now. The thought of dating again sucks, and now what I knew of dating is going to change a lot. I will say I have the best friends and family here for me, I'm very lucky to have them through this tough time.