NSgreenville

Thank you everyone. I appreciate the help.

After finding out I had HSV-2 in October I fell off the wagon. I had been working out like crazy all year trying to improve myself and get in the best shape of my life. Well 365 days from when I started I dropped 20% body fat and 22 pounds. This was beyond what my goals were at the start. But throwing a positive test result tainted everything. I don't feel attractive even when girls approach me or ask me for my number. I know Im being self-destructive by disqualifying myself before I even get their name. I wanted a relationship when I first found out but now I realize that I can't bring someone into this situation. I know there is nothing I can do but work through it. I've gotten back into the gym again which has helped greatly. I'm hoping to try and make the next Herpes Opportunity weekend workshop. I know I have too much self loathing to accept myself and accept the fact that I am not my herpes. I guess I don't feel comfortable asking someone to bring me into my world until I have a little more control over what I have and how I handle myself day to day. I have held it together minus a few breakdowns when I get home from going out with friends. I go out and want to approach a girl who I think is cute, but my mindset immediately goes to "whats the point?" I know for all I know she could have it too and we could be perfect together, but Im so insecure now that I won't even allow myself to allow for any vulnerability. Kinda lost and see I rambled on. Thanks for listening everyone. Nick

I have a date tomorrow, she is already aware of my condition (HSV-2) We met on an online site, we started messaging and then emailing to texting, and have talked on the phone briefly to plan the date. I feel so great about this even if it does not end in a serious relationship, the idea of being able to flirt, and be myself without the mindset "o shit when do I disclose" is comforting. I look forward to it. Thanks to this site for helping me through so much so far.

I also came across this clinical study. According to my brother who works in R&D in the pharm industry, this is kind of a long shot, but a very good idea being a protein based vaccine which is the new type of vaccines that companies are working with. Its a positive move in the direction we want. If it isnt this one then it will be soon. Most of what Ive read say the 10 year range before its figured out.

I know that feeling Danielle, I was diagnosed in mid October, my "care-free" twenties are over. There are some parts I would not change and then there are. My sexual behavior put me in the current situation and now I have to live with that. It is probably the hardest thing for me to grasp is that my actions resulted in it. But you can still do just about everything else thats carefree, sex is just 1 thing that has to be taken more seriously, which in all honesty can be great. It's always better with someone you have a connection with. From here on out that is almost sure to happen with "the herpes talk". Keep your head up and use this board to vent/ask/do whatever. We all have different but similar stories and its helped me remember I bring a lot more to the table than a misunderstood skin disease. Inbox me if you need anything at all.

You seem like you know what/how to do to help turn this into a positive. The hard part is letting yourself do it. I am constantly looking for answers to my questions as well. There are times where I remember I am still the same person I was before, in a way it was a wake up call that my lifestyle put me in this position and while I could blame myself, I'd much rather look at it as a new obstacle. I keep reminding myself that. But like most cases your mom is right, you are stronger than you think. And its ok to be afraid. Just know you don't have to be afraid alone. Have a great Sunday. Nick

Tryingtoheal, I recently found out I was herpes positive as well. I know the feeling of your giver not being supportive. Mine left my house immediately and moved across the state. I also know the feeling of hating myself because I "let" this happen. Just know you're not alone in any way, shape or form. The people here have been crucial to my mental health the last week. Reach out to any of us. Nick

Carly, I know the feeling. It sucks it really does. Ive just recently disclosed to some of my closer female friends and they have given me that glimmer of hope that it isn't a dealbreaker. It just means you have a serious talk that, honestly, keeps away the ones who aren't right. Ive found some great advice here and everyone is positive about making sure herpes is not what defines you. Keep you head up, things have a funny way of turning up ok. Nick

I had a great day today. And I have this discussion board to thank. After having a complete emotional breakdown last week where I had to take time off work. I went back in today with my old confidence. I disclosed to my co-workers(3 people) and all of them were shocked at first but I explained some of the misconceptions that surround herpes and how it had affected me and how I plan to adjust accordingly. They were all super supportive they all want me to come to them if anything comes up. It was surprisingly easy to disclose to them. Now I feel like when I do have the disclosure with someone I intend on being intimate with it will be that much easier. Love all of you. Thank you so much.

Yeah I have really noticed how much I have in common with a lot of stories. Now I'm really working towards regaining my focus. I realize that really the biggest change is when I have a serious talk when I start dating again. Which is in a sense a good thing as I am looking for more meaningful connections. I realize that I was living my life before and really I feel like I freaked out when I found out because I didn't know much about it. And when I realized how manageable it really is, that has been my turning point. It feels good to talk to people who have gone though the same situation and made it though.

Thank you Adrial, Im focusing on forgiving myself this weekend. It may take a hell of a lot longer but I feel good about finding an outlet and communication method to get me moving in the right direction. Luckily I have some long time friends around me who are extremely supportive and even get me to joke about the "pop culture" facts about a skin disorder. One of them was actually who recommended this site for me. Im glad to be able to talk more with people who have made it to the happy side and make it through with some newbies like myself.

Hey my name is Nick from Greenville SC I just turned 27 a little over a month ago and had my first outbreak of HSV-2 on my actual birthday. Confirmed by my doctor that Friday when my brother was coming into town for a "fun" weekend. I found out and shared the news with him while driving from the airport. The whole weekend I swung in and out of ups and downs. I've reached out here because today at work I reached my tipping point and just broke down in the middle of my work day. I have always been my toughest critic, and today I realized I hated myself for putting myself in this situation. I do feel confident in my ability to overcome and somehow find a positive in this and strengthen my mental state. Thanks for any words of advice.