Hello everyone! I'm new here, I signed up a while ago and recently started looking around the forum, and now wondering why I haven't jumped in and post sooner! I'm a 39 year old female, and I've had HSV2 for almost 3 years- except for the initial, I have never had another ob since. I had gotten it from my ex, whom we broke up a few months after I was diagnosed (not because of the herpes, but because we were growing apart). Physically it never really affected me, but emotionally I've struggled it. After my ex and I broken up, I put the focus back on me and worked on myself to heal and work through what I was struggling with. I feel like I am finally at a place where I truly love myself and cultivated self compassion and at a place of acceptance. I started dating again last fall, and I recently met and started going out with a great guy named N who is my age and is a family doctor. It's been almost a month, and things are going well so far. At the rate of how things are going, the disclosure talk is in the horizons.
My experiences with disclosure hasn't been a whole lot- my first time disclosing was to a good friend of mine whom I dated years ago- he ended up moving back to London, but we stayed in touch and as friends. When he reached out to me saying he may be moving back to Los Angeles (where I live) and wanted to see me again, I disclosed my herpes status to him. It only took a few minutes, he said that I'm still beautiful to him and that this doesn't change anything. We continued to stay good friends and we actually became closer as a result! Although we didn't end up together, I felt that disclosure (which was my first disclosure) went well!
Before I met N, I met this guy on POF, and we hit it off. We were talking on the phone for almost a week, and one day we were sharing pics of the art and posters that we have in our homes. I sent him a pic of a vision board I had made for myself, and on the board there was an affirmation I had written about how herpes does not define me or who I am, but it slipped my mind at the time I sent him the pic. He called me the next day asking me about that herpes affirmation. I wasn't prepared to tell him at the time, but he had seen that affirmation in the pic of my board, so I disclosed to him. He didn't take it too well, then said that he needed time to think this over. He ghosted me and never called me after that- that was my first rejection.
Back to the present- now that things are going well with N and that a disclosure talk is in the horizons, I'm a bit nervous, especially after experiencing that rejection. And him being a doctor, whom I understand that he's also just a person too, I'm feeling nervous and thinking because of his job and medical training, he probably knows the stats and perhaps know more. I would love to hear anyone's thoughts, opinions, support, etc...