Hi Ella,
I'm Robyn! I'm 21 and currently living in Scotland. I was diagnosed about 8 months ago. Reading other people's stories has been helping me for a while now, but this is the first time I've actually posted! I was still of the 'me and also them' mindset, rather than accepting that its now 'us' until your post spoke to me.
You sound like you're coping pretty well considering my love, I can't say I did so well to begin with! Its a shitty shitty deal, but you are absolutely right regarding giving yourself time. When I was first diagnosed, I sunk into an absolute pit of despair, and didn't get out of bed for more than 2 weeks. It was a pretty horrendous outbreak, but I didn't move even after it had passed. I suppose I thought I could just wait out the rest of my life locked in my room and nobody would ever have to know! I'm pleased to report that I came to my senses. While there are still difficult days, I've realised that life goes on. And that it can be pretty damn beautiful regardless. I'd actually say the last year has been the best of my life, despite the fact that 8 months of it have been spent living with herpes! I've been all over the world with my closest friends, started my dream PhD, moved to another country by myself and made a whole load of new friends along the way. And all since the day I declared my life over! I've also met someone new and may be close to my first disclosure. Absolutely terrified, so won't say too much about that yet! I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I was you, not too long ago, and that it really does get better.
I'm more than happy to talk whenever you need someone. I had a few close friends who've been absolute lifesavers throughout this whole thing, as I wasn't brave enough to reach out to anyone through here. I can't imagine anything beating talking to someone who knows exactly what you're going through though!
R x
ps. I'm a pierced/tattooed vegetarian feminist, so I feel your 'label' pain!