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Robyn_

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  1. @kdavis I've just come across this post, and it really made me laugh cause I was exactly the same for so long! I'd do anything to avoid actually saying the dreaded word. Any mention of it made me freeze and go bright red. I found that jumping on my bed and shouting 'I HAVE HERPES' until the words no longer had meaning and I laughed until I cried very helpful. The friend who was present at the time was slightly concerned by this behaviour, but everything has been easier since I've started being more honest with myself and you are 100% right xxx
  2. @New_Moon @EllaMight Hi guys, have to be brief as he's still here, but just wanted to let you know that your words of encouragement did a world of good, and I had my first successful disclosure last night! Got myself all worked about it for nothing... His response: '... and you thought that was going to put me off you? Don't be stupid. You freaked me out, being all dramatic though, I thought it was going to be something dreadful.' xxx
  3. It's really upsetting that these Doctors couldn't act professionally, despite their own opinions or the fact that they've been misinformed. When I worked at a vets, the first thing we were taught was that we absolutely could not pass judgement, regardless of how wrong/right we may believe the owner's treatment of their pet to be. You'd think the same would apply to our own health professionals! My doctor made out like I was so contagious that the only sensible thing I could do (now that I was damaged goods) would be to avoid ALL direct AND indirect contact with others, so as not to make them untouchables too! And unfortunately due to the severity of my outbreak, the GP was the furthest distance I could travel, but in the future I certainly won't be going back there! And being promiscuous WAS the cause in my case, though there was only one person with whom I didn't use a condom; but again, that's not the point. I think that was one of my Doctors main concerns actually, he seemed to forget that its 2015 and that women are allowed a sexuality too now. Am both disheartened and comforted by your responses! Its a shame to know there are others that have been treated this way, but also its nice to know I'm not alone. Thanks, R xx
  4. @fitgirl Actually the moment I realised I'd be fine was the first time I cracked a joke about it! I definitely had the awkward 'fun being sucked out of a room' feeling for a while, whenever it was mentioned. I remember reading a joke about it while I was waiting for the bus and I felt my whole face redden and I was sure the other people at the bus stop would look at me and just know why I was embarrassed! Obviously ridiculous, but I did feel like the joke was on me. You are totally right and learning to laugh about it really has made a difference! @EllaMight Definitely up for keeping up to date via private message too! I often find myself here on bad days, looking for encouragement, but I forget that its just as important to keep in touch on good days. Knowing you're not alone is important and reading other 'success stories' has helped me a great deal, so it feels pretty amazing to finally consider myself one of them! And RE disclosure... I've only known him for a little over a month, and in all honesty, I'm putting off disclosing for as long as I possibly can! The fact that I'm considering it at all is a fairly huge step for me in itself. Will let you know when the time comes though haha. Would like to second fitgirl's comment about the picture, good on you! One days soon I'll be brave enough to join you! @New_Moon Hi there! Its nice to speak to someone from a little closer to home :) it really has amazed me how common it is! I thought I was the only person in the world when I was diagnosed. I was sure I'd never met anyone else with it. Have since realised that I've met PLENTY of people with it, its just not something people are open about! Congrats on the 2 successful disclosures... and sorry to rain on the parade, but if you don't mind me asking, have you had any unsuccessful disclosures? Apologies, but I'm a scientist! A somewhat morbid realism comes with the territory; I love the silver lining, but it has to come with the cloud. xxxxxx
  5. Hi everyone, I've been thinking about the stigma etc attached to a diagnosis of herpes, and I was wondering what everyone's experiences with medical professionals have been? I received a very negative response from my doctor, who has been my GP since I was a small child. I took the news badly, as is to be expected, but his response amplified mine. He spoke down to me and with distaste. He told me it was an incurable disease that I'd have for the rest of my life, and that I needed to get separate towels etc and be extremely careful not to pass it to my family. He told me to get tested for all other STIs as it was likely I'd got more than the one. He was entirely unsympathetic throughout the entire consult, and I took it as my comeuppance I suppose! It is only since coming to terms with it, and realising that I am still a human with worth, that I have really considered how entirely inappropriate his treatment of me was. I'm young and I behaved irresponsibly, and now I have to live with the consequences of my actions, but that should not include the judgement of a 'professional' who is supposed to be there to help me. I was wondering if anybody else has received treatment like this, or if I was unlucky? I'm hoping this isn't widespread in the medical community, and that anybody who may have been treated like I was realises that they're worth more than that. Opinions welcome! R xx
  6. Hi Ella, I'm Robyn! I'm 21 and currently living in Scotland. I was diagnosed about 8 months ago. Reading other people's stories has been helping me for a while now, but this is the first time I've actually posted! I was still of the 'me and also them' mindset, rather than accepting that its now 'us' until your post spoke to me. You sound like you're coping pretty well considering my love, I can't say I did so well to begin with! Its a shitty shitty deal, but you are absolutely right regarding giving yourself time. When I was first diagnosed, I sunk into an absolute pit of despair, and didn't get out of bed for more than 2 weeks. It was a pretty horrendous outbreak, but I didn't move even after it had passed. I suppose I thought I could just wait out the rest of my life locked in my room and nobody would ever have to know! I'm pleased to report that I came to my senses. While there are still difficult days, I've realised that life goes on. And that it can be pretty damn beautiful regardless. I'd actually say the last year has been the best of my life, despite the fact that 8 months of it have been spent living with herpes! I've been all over the world with my closest friends, started my dream PhD, moved to another country by myself and made a whole load of new friends along the way. And all since the day I declared my life over! I've also met someone new and may be close to my first disclosure. Absolutely terrified, so won't say too much about that yet! I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I was you, not too long ago, and that it really does get better. I'm more than happy to talk whenever you need someone. I had a few close friends who've been absolute lifesavers throughout this whole thing, as I wasn't brave enough to reach out to anyone through here. I can't imagine anything beating talking to someone who knows exactly what you're going through though! R x ps. I'm a pierced/tattooed vegetarian feminist, so I feel your 'label' pain!
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