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jumplejump

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Everything posted by jumplejump

  1. Fantastic post, definitely thank you for sharing!!! I have been having a bit of a downer the last few days so the timing of this was perfect :) congrats on finding a good one, girl!
  2. I just randomly found this post again, and I looooved reading it even more the second time! So uplifting!
  3. Fantastic story, Matt! I agree with so much in your post, and I am so glad the talk went so well for you! I really hope others on this forum read your post, and fully understand that how you disclose is huge. I have disclosed three times now, and the first time I was completely consumed with shame but each time after that, I have treated it just like you said...it just IS. I also really agree with one of your side notes that you thought you had 100% accepted having HSV until you started considering dating. I too thought I had completely accepted it until my first disclosure, and then I realized that I did have a long way to go but oddly enough, it actually made me excited to fully begin the accepting process. If anyone reading this hasn't disclosed before (even just to a friend) then I urge you to do so! As Adrial has said before...step into the light :) it is actually liberating. Finally, I also completely agree with what pacific said - even if this talk hadn't gone well, I know just from reading your post that you would have been fine and you will find someone who does handle the situation like a reasonable person, and just loves you for you. I also agree it is extremely refreshing to read such a mature post from a guy :) Congrats on the great talk and on finding an awesome lady! She is lucky to have found you!
  4. Hello all! I just wanted to publically say thank you to Adrial for this amazing forum, and for all the discussions that you have enabled on this forum. I have been very responsible since I found out I had HSV about 1.5 years ago...unfortunately, until a few weeks ago. I honestly NEVER thought this would happen to me but long story, short...I drank far too much one evening, and I ended up hooking up with someone that I hadn't disclosed to. Here is where you come in, Adrial. It is honestly almost entirely thanks to you that I knew immediately that I had to tell him. I re-read some of the posts that you had written when others have reached out over this same topic, but I almost didn't even need to because your words had resonated with me so well. I literally had NO other option in the matter - I had to tell him. Thank you for so eloquently saying exactly what I needed to hear. I messed up, and I can't change that, but I can control how I handle the situation afterwards, and I am just so glad that I was strong enough to do the right thing...even though it was incredibly difficult! Thanks again, Adrial, for all that you do with this forum - we are all so lucky to have found it/you! And to anyone else that may be going through this same situation...trust me, I know it is extremely difficult! This guy and I have a lot of mutual friends, so I was terrified to tell him because I knew he could very quickly turn my life upside down, but I just knew that I had to tell him. My advice to you: be strong, and be confident in yourself because even though you may have messed up, you have another chance to display your integrity, and let that be the true testament to your character :)
  5. Hi Cam, First of all, you should definitely get tested just to be sure. I am a female so I don’t have to worry about this, but you never know, it could just be “jock itch" ;) But if it is herpes, it would be helpful for you to know whether it is HSV1 or HSV2 since they act a little differently. Anyway - I am also in my mid 20’s so I feel like I can really relate to your post. I was diagnosed about a year ago, and it has been one loooong, stressful year but I am here to tell you that it gets better. In fact, one year later I ironically have more self-confidence than I did before, and I can truly say that I know myself much better than I did a year ago. My advice to you is to take some time to really get to know yourself. Find the things in life that make you happy, recognize some of the goals and aspirations you have for your future and march ahead. Once you realize how much you have to offer, I think you will recognize that while having herpes is obviously less than ideal, it definitely doesn't mean your life is over. There is a common theme on this forum that I read several times and it really resonated with me….you may have herpes, but you are not defined by herpes. At the end of the day, this is your life, and it is what you make of it. Hopefully this helped a bit :) Melissa
  6. I am so happy for you, Lelani! You have been such an inspiration to me and I am sure to so many others on this forum, and I am glad that you have found someone so special! You definitely deserve it :)
  7. Thank you so much for taking the time to post this, froggygurl! It is extremely encouraging to hear this from the other side :)
  8. I completely agree with Atlantic about the golden rule. Even if the risk of tranmission can be very low when taking all the right precautions, the risk is always still there. Wouldn't you rather have someone inform you beforehand than potentially but knowingly pass herpes along to you? It's not fair to the other person to not give them a choice. Also - the way I look at it now is that if I do not feel comfortable enough to disclose to a potential partner, then I do not think I am ready to be intimate with them. In some ways, herpes has been a blessing in disguise for me because it has made me slow down and really realize how intimate sex actually is. I genuinely think that sex is more meaningful between people that have a deeper connection, and what better way to establish or confirm that deep connection than by being completely honest with them and disclosing something so personal? :)
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