Anna01

@colorblue Wow it seems like stress has taken over here. The first thing I would do is try to relax. Try to be calm and put this thing into perspective. It is not the end of the world and you WILL BE OK. I know this can be scary. Trust me but don't psyche yourself out. Be strong for yourself and your family. IF you even have H, trust me, you don't need to cover yourself from head to toe. You are not a walking virus, if you have it. You are you. Hug your children, play with them, they will be just fine. Don't overthink it. Don't believe the hype. It is not so bad. It is not easy to spread like that. Honestly. Enjoy your life. Get tested to see if you are even H+ and love yourself no matter what. You are stronger than this. It is too early for blood testing. So, like 2legit said, you need to get in to swab as soon as something pops up. Most importantly, take care of yourself emotionally. Don't freak out. You will be ok :)

@Bambina3 Good for you for opening up about your affairs. It helps to face our actions and not run from them. I feel it helps us actually realize the things we need to change. Your Doctor is right, the emotional torment is the true disease here. If only everyone was asymptomatic.....then it would be no biggie to get tested and disclose. Unfortunately some people have really bad reactions, so minimizing the spread is important. If everyone would just get tested for it and we could see how common it is, the stigma would die down and it wouldn't be so horrible to find out you have it. I do feel that the stigma is slowly but surely dying down. About your weekend, very good of you to walk away. I know a roll in the sack can be momentarily comforting when we are in pain. So good to stop it before it went too far. If you want any advice, I would say it will be helpful to try to avoid putting yourself in this position all together. If you are attracted to a guy at the office, avoid going out drinking alone. That way you don't have to struggle with making good decisions while under the influence. I know how hard that is. You are with a cutie and the alcohol kicks in, next thing you know you guys are making out. Kudos for walking away AND ripping up the number ;-) You are making progress. Keep it up! (BIG HUGS) -Anna

LOVE LOVE LOOOOVEEEE THIS POST!!!! COULDN'T AGREE MORE!

@Bambina3 I think you need to do some serious renovation of your mind. This is nothing to be ashamed of. You are not DANGEROUS. You get an occasional rash in an interesting place. I too have all the traits you speak of and get hit on on a daily basis. I am not dangerous because I care enough about people to inform them prior to sex (if/when I decide to have sex). You are dangerous when you intentionally try to hurt others. You simply have a skin condition. Don't feed into the stigma. You are still hot, professional, kind etc. Don't let some rash make all of your positive traits seem like the perfect trap for some poor victim. Own who you are. Love the red lipstick. Blow yourself a kiss in the mirror, maybe even throw in a wink. Go out and have a blast with your friends. Beat the stigma because it is ridiculous. You are hiding nothing by still being amazing! :)

@hippyherpy I get what you mean about the women being irresponsible and putting themselves in a bad situation by meeting someone for the first time and wanting to have unprotected sex. They are responsible for their health...100% I agree. I think that it is important to focus on yourself vs. others. It isn't about what these women are doing. It is about you. We can have the casual hook up lifestyle all we want BUT we should try to do it the *right* way. When you find out you have an STD it is common courtesy to let someone know. You may be the wake up call for that girl. She may see how lucky she was to have someone like you be honest and show her how risky her actions really are. So many people are naive. They don't think bad things will happen to them. I understand with the lifestyle you lead, you feel you shouldn't have to disclose because it is a risky way of life period. However, you can live a risky life but still have integrity. You can still have enough respect for these women to let them know about your condition. At the end of the day it is not about them and what they are doing. All you can control is yourself. So it only makes sense to do right by you and your conscience. Honesty is better for your mind and your heart. I think the sexual experience is better with everything out on the table instead of keeping something like this private.

When is your period?

You are absolutely right. I truly believe it is not a big deal and it is extremely common. So why let it hinder our confidence.

How long has this been going on for?

Just like the others said, it is at your discretion. This is YOUR personal business. So if you want to tell someone, tell them and if you don't, don't. The only people I feel must know, our sexual partners. Don't feel like you are hiding something by not telling your family. I told my family but it was because I felt like telling them. We are very close. We are quite big too. I told my 3 siblings, my parents, my sisters husband haha I wasn't afraid because the love is sooooo strong in my house. So it is completely up to you. No pressure on telling anyone. This is your business. :)

Hmmmmmm....It can be a mild outbreak. Those are common symptoms of herpes. So if you have been tested for everything else, don't think it is another STD. Do you use body wash down south?

I think you already received some amazing advice. I want to reassure you that your fears are extremely common. Let them run their course but don't let them hang out for too long. You are not as contagious as you think. Pimples are still pimples. Mosquito bites are still mosquito bites. Haha we all know the feeling of "Is everything herpes??" So relax and enjoy this precious and sometimes pain in the butt gift called life. It sounds like your bf is amazing :) Let him love you and don't let some inconvenient virus get in the way of that ;-)

@S123 Fantastic :) Not your friend haha.....but you! You handled that like a pro. It is amazing how misinformed we are about this virus until we discover we carry it. Like what the hell is the big difference between HSV1 and HSV2?!?! Haha I bet you wanted to shake her like "No....listen to ME...I know ok" I also talk to my friends about it and disclosed to a really good friend of mine a couple weeks ago. We talked about it like I was talking about the weather. He was so impressed by how I am handling it and he wrote me later that night "I am wondering why I never pursued a relationship with you". @StillMeButWiser I am with you on the trust thing. I am still yet to tell random people but it does help when I talk to my people about it. I feel it will get easier and easier and who knows, maybe one day I can be like Dancer.

I wish I knew what to tell you. I don't take valtrex because I felt it was making my symptoms worse. If you are up for the roller coaster ride of an outbreak, I say try it out! See how your body handles it. Maybe you won't need to be on valtrex at all. ;-)

@Nal I do agree that everyone is different. Some people prefer to write all their thoughts out. It gives them time to really think things through and say what they mean to say. Also some may benefit from having the time to process what someone wrote them and think of a clear response prior to actually speaking.

@StillMeButWiser Whatever works for us right. It can be hard telling someone face to face BUT I feel the anxiety that comes with waiting for a response via text....UGH kill me now. I HATE waiting for replies via text haha. Especially if it is something I care about. Also, I feel that people can sense your humanity when their hear your voice or see your face. Text messages can feel somewhat detached. Regardless though disclosing is an honorable act. So if it takes a text to get it out, do it! I'm glad your swinger guy was open enough to see the reality of what this is :) Congrats!

@Bambina3 I was asking him his age for my own reasons. His name is @hippyherpy. Is that a veteran hippy who is in his 50's or one of the new age hippies in mid 20's. That is a popular thing going on. I have friends who have the "hippy" lifestyle. They go to festivals, party and have the free love mentality. @Hippyherpy your word choice also makes me curious (ex: hatin haha) So his age was relevant to me @Bambina3.

Just out of curiosity, Did he say he really wanted to pursue a relationship before or after you had sex?

@hippyherpy seriously how old are you??

Yes relationships can be tough BUT herpes will be a non-factor in the right relationship.

I may be alone here but I have this thought that maybe he already knew he had it prior to you. Do you ever get "jerk" vibes from him. I don't know but the thought crossed my mind. @WCSDancer2010 and @2Legit2Quit said everything you need to hear. Focus on yourself, let him go through his process, don't settle because of herpes. You have an amazing life waiting for you. Don't run home for comfort. Visit home for comfort :) haha. Focus on school, gaining peace and being happy. I find doing charity or dancing helps me a lot. Keep your head up girlie. We are here for you!

@2Legit2Quit Thank you and well said to you too ;-) Oh the day that men think with the head between their shoulders hahaha

@hippyherpy You do have a tendency to talk about women like they are an appetizer. How old are you?

@2Legit2Quit Ohhhhhhh lol duh. I forgot this is not my post hahaha sorry @Elise1977

@hippyherpy You may use my words BUT you must mean them haha @Elise1977 I am sorry but I am not sure if you are complimenting me or saying my attitude is a bad thing?

I am here if you want to chat more. Thank you for sharing your story. I must say, I feel you sound like you are handling this well. I hate the word "rejection" though. You are not being rejected. The relationship didn't work out. Relationships don't work for MANY reasons. I highly doubt herpes is the only reason this didn't work. Usually it reveals how much someone is into you. Herpes cuts through the crap and the lies. It forces a man to admit whether or not he REALLY sees a future with you. It may hurt but it truly is a blessing in disguise. It saves you some precious time ;-)