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worried

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  1. @adrial thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I sent her everything you said and hope she takes it to heart. I had told her the same thing about it was his decision and that she should not feel the whole responsibility. My heart just broke for her because of how upset and scared she was and you don't want to see your child suffer like that! I do wish she would join this forum because you guys give such great advice and encouragement that I think it would really help her to have people to talk to about this besides me. My fear is also that If she should become unhappy that she still stays with him because he did accept this risk and is afraid she won't find love again. I'm only saying that because of things she has said in the past about herself because of this disease so I pray she has strength to continue to find love if something does happen between them. Thanks again to you and this community for help. I come here a lot for comfort when I know she is feeling down. It helps me and then I feel I can help her.
  2. Hi. I'm asking for my daughter because she hasn't joined this forum yet, and I have gotten some good advice here as a mom of a daughter with HSV1 as well as advice for her. She had her first outbreak almost a year ago. She has been on Valcyclovir since then and has not had an outbreak. She is currently in a relationship in which he knows her status and has accepted it. They do not use condoms but she is on daily suppressive medicine. He knows the risks. He looked it up. Yesterday they had sex and during she said she started to feel pain down there. She can't remember if she was still feeling the pain afterward. Today she is not sure if she is having an outbreak and can't describe what she is feeling to me. She is so afraid she may have passed this on to him. How can she tell if the pain was shedding or not as there is no outbreak yet? Also she is not sure when the pain began because she is too worried about the situation. If the pain began afterward but not during sex could she be shedding? She is so afraid that if he catches it he will leave her. They are young - 20 & 21 and this is her first relationship after finding out she had this. Also she ran out of medicine but continued taking acyclovir that she has had because she also gets breakouts on her face and has since she was a child. Any advice I can give her as to how she can relax and calm down as well as tell if she were possibly shedding and could have passed this on to him. I want to help her but I feel helpless. Thanks!
  3. Wow what an awesome story and so happy for you! I love your positive thinking!
  4. @francina7 Thank you! I know she does, and I need to share your statement with her. I have been doing all the research and telling her about all I find. She just needs to build her confidence back up I guess. She just found out this past May, and is still trying to figure things out I guess. @Elise1977 I love your statement about us all being "accepted" for something and no one is perfect. That is so true. I need to get her to read what you said, because you are so right. If you convince yourself that you are unlovable, then you will struggle. I just have to get her past this hurdle. I wish she would go on this site and read everything I do because it is so helpful, and lets you know you aren't alone. I have been sick to my stomach all day today playing her comment that "he accepts her" in my head over and over. I love everyone's responses, and I plan to share them with her. Thank you!!
  5. @nothinggoodgetsaway that is very well said! I only hope my daughter can feel this way at some point. She is still saying things like "he accepts me", which really bothers me and makes me so upset, because she is worth being accepted by all, and the fact that she feels like only some can accept her because of this just hurts me so bad! I don't think she thinks too highly of herself right now, and that makes me sad. @francina7, I would love to know those answers too because it would be good to share with my daughter.
  6. I think that's awesome that you have made such a good friend. I have been reaching out to people for my daughter to talk to because this is all so new to her. I'm not sure she has responded but I am trying lol! She doesn't go on here which makes it harder.
  7. @veryblessed my daughter has told me she has ghsv1 as well. I am the only one that knows besides the boy she thinks gave it to her. I did exactly what you did, helped her, took her to the doctor, cried, and then started looking up as much information as I could on the internet. I worry about the same things you do. She seems to be coping quite well right now, but I don't know how she will feel the first time she has to tell a boy, especially if they reject her. I am on this website daily reading all the posts and telling her as much information as I can. I also had her join, but I don't know if she has been on. She has recently told one good friend I think because she just wanted someone to talk to. The friend was very supportive, but it upset my daughter in one way at the ignorance that is out there because the friend wanted to know if my daughter was going to die from this! Other than that, it helped her to have a friend to talk to about it. I think in time it will get easier, but since she is so young, it could be tough for a while because teens are really cruel. If you ever want to talk, you can message me. I hope your daughter and you are doing fine now.
  8. I would like to know about oral sex as well. My daughter has ghsv1 as well. She is trying to get the ex who she believes gave it to her to go get tested. Does anyone know if Planned parenthood will do a blood test for herpes? I am also curious about transmission if a condom is used as well as medication. I am glad to hear @mj8989 you are doing ok with the diagnosis. My daughter wasn't at first, but i think has come to terms somewhat, but hasn't started dating again, and I think this is the reason why.
  9. @WCSDancer2010 thank you. I appreciate all your help!!
  10. @WCSDancer2010 what is your open group on facebook? I have been able to find your blog, but don't know how to find your facebook group. Thanks!
  11. Thank you @WCSDancer2010 and @Anna01 great advice. I just need to keep encouraging her and letting her know I love her and am here for her always!
  12. @WCSDancer2010 you are so right. I took pictures of some stories I read on here and showed her and you could see she was getting annoyed that I brought it up again LOL. Where is the article from Ella? I would like to print it out for her. I did get her to join but i don't know if she has been on since then. I am trying not to bring it up every hour ha ha! Thanks again for the support.
  13. @KatsMomUtah I fear for the day people find out about my daughter. One of her biggest fears is people finding out.
  14. Thanks! I will pass along the information to her. One of the issues right now is she doesn't want to talk about anything. When I brought up the topic the other day and wanted to tell her about this website she got mad! She is going back to school in a few weeks and I want her to have all the information she can get because I won't be there for her support. It's frustrating because I'm scared and worried about her! I appreciate you responding so much with great advice!
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