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Emm

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Everything posted by Emm

  1. I did it! He didn't care... he said no one is perfect. Thank you :)
  2. Thanks - they take you through to a subscription page but I think I was too eager and subscribed a few times... it hasn't sent me the ebook :(
  3. Ahh Ive realised we're talking about two different things lol, i signed up and was sent Biggest Disclosure Mistakes by email; how do i get the ebook?
  4. Thanks, really encouraging stuff in there :) Does anyone know the stats?
  5. So i need to have 'the talk' tomorrow. I am on a suppression course of Aciclovir (3 per day) and would really like to be able to state his chances of getting H with my suppressive course x condoms (plus abstinence during any sneaky outbreaks of course). Anyone know the percentage?
  6. @WCSDancer2010 Sometimes I do, sometimes its after some rubbing, for example I went to the gym Friday and was aware of some rubbing, then symptoms started kicking in Saturday and are full fledged today. Considering counselling, thanks x
  7. @2Legit2Quit I've only known since July. The idea that this is forever is what pushes me over the edge. Also my fear of myself- I currently have an outbreak at the same time I have some cuts on my hand, I'm so scared of infecting myself when I'm washing, changing, moisturising- I hate being afraid of my own body and dont know how I'll ever feel confident, valuable, sexy again when I bring this to the table. I'll definitely try runners body glide though, thank you.
  8. Early on in diagnosis I felt as low as anyone else, then I had some support and started to feel positive. Now that the emotions have evened out I'm ashamed to say that I'm fine most of the time, but every time I get an outbreak I get extremely suicidal. Every time. I don't know how to live like that? Feel really guilty as well, after all the support I've had and even my own commitment to not feeling negative and to remembering that plenty of people have it worse. I guess I'd like to know if anyone has overcome this and how? Also, I find that any kind of rubbing- gym clothes, body suits etc seems to bring it on, and I dont want it to stop me doing/wearing what I want! Anyone have a way around that?
  9. @Livefiercely21 Oh man. I think everyone deals with things differently... but you know you dont 'deserve' this, and thats an a$$hole thing to say to you. YOU DONT DESERVE IT. My Mr has struggled with this and there have been uncomfortable conversations for sure. We've had to have fresh convos about my sexual past for example (which is Sahara desert dry BTW- part of my anger for having this I've had barely any sex life), and there have been arguments and moody silences. Im not a psychiatrist or anything but my bf was really angry and sullen with me, and when I actually cracked his shell and got to the heart of it he wasnt angry with me, he was actually angry with being powerless to protect me. We lived apart for about a month and its brought him to terms with everything. At the end of the day he wants to be with me so he's had to get himself over it. I think you have to work out whether your Bf is working his way through this mentally, or just an a$$hole. Something to think about, because you are not suddenly half of you because you have this. You still deserve the best guy and the best treatment. You dont need extra stress! Hope you're thinking about H less, I was thinking about it EVERY DAY but I don't anymore thank God. PROGRESS!
  10. @Livefiercely21 Im so glad! I'm still not over it yet but I'm feeding myself a diet of support/crying time and fun, and I'm getting there. I also moved out of my boyfriends place, its easier to take on one thing at a time and by all reports stress doesnt help with OBs anyway. I think its best to stay busy enjoying life and feeling positive and then when I feel like myself (and he feels like himself) we can deal with 'us' again. The worst of it is in our minds!
  11. @Marie14 Thanks for that article, thats what happened to me! I received a text message of all things and had to ask a director if I could leave as I was in pieces. It was so far from tactful too, they said 'You are CLEAR of everything except we did confirm Herpes Simplex 2." Such insensitive phrasing! Got my hopes up
  12. @2Legit2Quit Thank you, I think it will take a while to feel totally normal again and think about it less but I'm working on it
  13. @WCSDancer2010 Thankyou! I wont pretend I havent cried since but Im definitely on a better page!
  14. Getting diagnosed with HSV2 is the most challenging thing thats ever happened in my life, and I've had an 'interesting' life. I have known since 28th July this year (so 4 weeks) and have just stopped feeling suicidal. I felt hopeless for the first time, powerless and wanting to 'opt out'. It feels like an injustice, I had been celibate for 5 years and trusted the wrong person... Didnt know that I had caught HSV2 until a year into a relationship with someone else... and now my partner is dealing with the same anguish of possibly having HSV2. Its also put a major strain on us. For me, telling my parents has been a turning point, I felt like I was falling apart crying every day and semi-functional at work until I told them... I guess you cant deny how important support is! I was so stressed and internalising so much self hatred that it didnt occur to me that my life isn't over. My parents were RELIEVED that it was only herpes. There are worse things out there; things that can take your life and stop your body functioning. What we have is (in my fathers words) "embarassing and a nuisance". No one is queuing up to get this, and you cant help but obsess over the fact that you didnt HAVE to get this, but we are going to LIVE! We can still have kids, our bodies still function as before. We just have to take some medication to keep the nuisance under control. Asymptomatic shedding is the scary part for me, it wouldnt be so hard to think about relationships and disclosure if not for that. But at the end of the day, people with AIDS find love and get married, and what we have cant kill anyone... point being if someone wants all of you forever they will get past an "embarassing nuisance". So, I once read that the more you think about something, your brain forms stronger pathways to that thought. So lets focus on thinking good things about ourselves and save ourselves from insanity. I wrote this for myself, I've been SOO depressed! I need to remind myself of three things: 1. Worse things happen to better people 2. I'm going to be okay 3. I deserve, and will have love REGARDLESS Read them over, remind yourself xx PS (time to pick myself up and sort myself out, depression will have you looking AWFUL)
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