casi1001

Hello fellow HSV veterans, I have a question for the consensus. I just started dating someone who has OHSV1 and I have GHSV2. I know that I should be pretty well protected from getting OHSV1 from him but he isn't protected from getting GHSV2 from me. We discussed it and decided I would go back on antivirals to give a bit more protection but I can't find anywhere how long we should wait before having sex. Does anyone have a timeline for me? Are we talking days or weeks?

Is there any documentation on that that you know of? Can I also assume the same goes the other way as well? Hsv1 from getting Hsv2?

Haven't posted in awhile but I do like to read the forums whenever I get the chance. I have HSV2G and have probably had it for quite awhile, (10+ years). I have recently decided to get back into the dating game and put my profile up on several different sites. For me I have always found that it was just easier if I put my condition in my profile and have it out there right up front as I'm not ashamed about it so why hide it. Believe it or not I have not had it be an issue at all and have even had many men tell me they admire me for it as it shows integrity. Someone I have been talking to but not yet met in person I believe has hsv1 as he has had cold sores for a good portion of his life but has never been diagnosed. He said he was tested after his divorce and that the panel did include hsv but it came back negative although I don't know what kind of test they preformed. I'm assuming his test was probably incorrect if he's been having cold sores. What I'm can't seem to remember or find on this site is what the transmission rates were if you already had hsv2g what are the chances of getting hsv1 either orally or genitally and vice versa? Does having an established condition give you any immunity to the other version of hsv? It's really a non issue for me if we hit it off but is more of a curiosity. I know that hsv2 really doesn't like the oral region where hsv1 can live happily in both regions. Would I still be at risk for getting hsv1 if he preforms oral on me?

sastre77, I wanted to write before but I don't have as much time as I used to lately LOL. First of all I myself have HSV2, I found out about 4 years ago but looking back I've probably had this alot longer. It hit me hard at first but as it sunk in and I found this site I realized that I'm just one of millions that have this. It really hasn't affected my dating in a bad way and in truth it's actually helped me. I have been using dating sites for a long time and about 3 years ago I decided that I didn't want to keep going through figuring out when to have the "talk" so I included my condition in my dating profile. It weeds out those that are only on those sites to hook up and if anyone does contact me they know that I have this. I have had nothing but positive feedback from any men contacting me and in fact I'm dating someone now who I met on an online site. We've been together for 7 month now and I love him to pieces. I decided years ago to let my kids know I have HSV for several reasons. One being that I've always told them the truth about everything and two that I wanted to make sure that if something happened and one of them did get this that they could handle it better. Low and behold my 19 YO daughter who is engaged to a wonderful man found out last week she tested positive for HSV1 oral. She and her fiance decided they wanted to both be tested to make sure and he was even with her when she got the results. He never batted an eye about the results and neither did she. My being honest with her and telling her about me having it made it something that wasn't a big deal. I am so very proud of her and her fiance for how they have handled this. Funny thing is that I can't remember her ever having a cold sore, go figure LOL. Let your daughter know you lover her and this doesn't change who she is or what she can do with her life. This can't define her life unless she lets it, keep reminding her of that.

Let me tell you a little story. A little over 2 years ago I met someone through a dating site and we hit it off like you wouldn't believe. I really fell hard for this guy and quick. We talked on the phone frequently as he's a truck driver with alot of time to talk sometimes. A few weeks later he invited me over to his place for the afternoon and things started to get pretty hot real fast. I'm afraid I didn't disclose very well but I did before things went to far. We stopped with the fooling around at that point and he asked some questions that I answered as best I could and we spent the rest of the day cutting hay on his farm with me riding on the tractor with him. He was a bit distant when I left and said he needed a bit of time and I respected that. Fast forward a few weeks. During this time I really only heard from him a few times and it was mostly through text. He said he was still thinking and I told him if he wanted to get a hold of me in the future he could. A few more weeks go by with no contact at all so as devastated as I was I went back to my online profile and completely rewrote it. I actually came out to everyone in my profile. I figured I wanted everyone to know before I went through something like that again. I was so surprised at the responses I got. I actually had MORE guys hitting on me then I ever did before. A few weeks later I started dating someone from the next state away and things went really well, we got engaged about 6 months in. During this time the other guy did get back a hold of me but by then I was with someone else and he didn't call me again. The new guy and I lasted about 18 months total before I found out he was still seeing at least two other women he's met online. I went back to the dating site I'd met him on and subscribed for another month so I could see if his profile was still active and it was. Within 2 hours of my profile becoming active again the original guy got a hold of me again and we started talking again. By this time I had of course told my ex-fiance to take a flying "leap". The original guy and I talked daily for about 6 weeks as I had moved out of state but we started dating again as soon as I moved back to where I had originally lived. He has come to terms with my condition and we hardly ever talk about it unless I feel I might be having an outbreak. I am on antivirals as it makes him feel a bit safer but it's now been 6 months and I love him to distraction. The moral I guess is that some people process information differently so you just never know. He had come to terms with it a few months after I told him but by then it was to late as I was with someone else and he knew he messed up. I think it was just in the cards for us to be together and believe me we've been making up with our sex life since we've been back together LOL. I don't plan on letting him get away again if I can help it. So hang in there and live your life. If it was meant to be who knows what will happen, it took me and my guy about 20 months apart so it really CAN happen. Hold your head UP and move on with your life. Life is good and it's so much better if you can look at things in a positive way.

Sadie, I have been in you position and know how you feel I promise. A few years ago I meet someone through a dating site and we had the best first date I've ever had. A few days later I told him of my situation and while he took it OK you can tell he was definitely surprised. When I left him a few hours later he basically told me he needed some time to think and do some research. That was before I found this site or I would have led him here. We continued to talk on the phone and text after that but I could tell things had changed. His calls/texts got fewer and longer in between yet he still said he was interested and needed time. About then a few weeks went by with me not hearing anything from him and I pretty much gave up and put my profile back up. Within days Someone else contacted me who knew my condition right from the start. I put my condition right in my profile so I never had to worry about having the "talk". New guy and I hit it off right away and we decided to get married. The previous guy did get a hold of me but by then I was with new guy so he didn't call back after that. New guy and I were together for 18 months when he basically left me for someone else. I put my profile back up and within 2 hours the first guy got back a hold of me. Since at that point I had moved to another state we talked on the phone for about 6 weeks reconnecting. I have been back now since new years of this year and we are still together. He came to grips with my condition (GHSV2) and we've never looked back. I'm on antivirals and we don't use condoms either. He knows the risks and is Ok with them. I really feel like we have a good chance of a future, I'm 49 and he's 48 BTW. I think what I'm trying to say here is that from what I can tell it's only been a few days since you told him. Guys process things different differently then women do so don't give up hope yet. Send him the links to this site and hopefully he will take the time to enlighten himself. My guy came to his senses to late and regretted it but by a stroke of luck he got a second chance :). Give your guy some time and see what happens. If it doesn't work out though I promise you'll be OK.

Belle3738, I was replying to anyone who could find it helpful :). I have to say though that I LOVE that you are willing to learn about working on cars, not many women have any interest like we do and in all honesty...guys find that hot. Have you suggested that he come to this site and read any of the post at all? He really might find that helpful. If he isn't interested in doing that I'd have to wonder if he was really interested at all to be honest. Sometimes men need to loose something for them to know what was right under their nose. Maybe you should consider either dating again or letting him know your thinking about it and see what he says or does? If you have been waiting for 9 long months I think he either needs a swift kick (nudge) or maybe you should think about trying to move on. I've been in your position (before I knew my diagnosis) and now that I look back I wish I had either been more forward or just moved on sooner then I did. Looking back I think of how much time I have wasted waiting on things. Life is to short, who really knows what will happen tomorrow so we have to learn to live for today. All H is is a skin condition in an inconvenient area. Everyone thinks they have something their embarrassed about for some reason or another, it could be a skin condition like this or Psoriasis or birthmarks or just something they did in their past. Don't let something like this that is so trivial in the grand scheme of things define who you are or what you do. Live your life and enjoy every minute of it, don't spend it all wondering "what if". You deserve everything you've always dreamed of, don't let this pebble trip you up.

In truth to me it sounds like you dodged a bullet. It sounds to me like he was pissed he spent money on the date and wasn't going to get anything out of it with what you told him. When I was dating online I actually put my conditions HSV2 in my profile and basically came out to everyone who read it. It was quit liberating to tell you the truth. I didn't have to worry about the "talk" and anyone who would potentially be getting a hold of me was OK with it. Believe it or not I actually had MORE men contacting me then before and even had both men and women writing me telling me how brave I was and that it showed integrity. I am actually dating a man who while he didn't reject me he did need some time to think about it. Turns out he had to wait 18 months while I dated someone else in the meantime LOL. He regrets that waited so long and then had to wait even longer :). We've been together now for about 4 months and things are going well and the sex was worth waiting for with him LOL.

Almost 2 years ago I met someone online that I really liked. At that point I had known about my status for a few years but hadn't found this site so I was still in the dark about a lot of things about having H. This guy and I talked on the phone quite a bit and finally met in person and had our first date. It was the best first date I had ever had, we had a picnic at the local lake, talked for hours and had our first kiss under a full moon at the lake edge there. It was absolutely wonderful. About a week later he invited me out to his place for the afternoon (he lives on a farm) and I did go. Things started to get a bit hot and heavy and it was at this point where I told him, he was definitely shocked. He thanked me for being honest and we spent the next few hours wondering around his farm. At that point we rarely went a day without speaking and now it was days and he hadn't called. When I called or texted him he would tell me he was still interested but needed to do some research. Days became weeks and we rarely spoke, I was devastated to say the least. It was then that I discovered this site and educated myself. I also decided to keep dating so I completely rewrote my profile and come out to everyone in my profile. I decided I wasn't going through that again and that I wanted anyone who might be interested to know before we even contacted each other. Funny thing with that, I was getting more people, both men and women contacting me and telling me that not only did that take guts but it also showed integrity. I was also getting more men contacting me then before, go figure. It was then that I met someone from a different state and we wound up dating for the next 18 months. I even moved out of state to be with him for awhile. He didn't care about my condition at all. Unfortunately that didn't work out for other reasons and I put my profile back up. I kid you not but within 3 hours of my profile being back up the previous man I was seeing got a hold of me. He regretted what he did and letting me get away and we are now back together these last four months. Not only that but the sex is fantastic, he has come to terms with it and it truly isn't an issue. I guess my point of writing this book is to say that sometimes the ones who seem to "run" at first just need some time. My guy had to wait for a year and a half until I was available again but at the moment things are going well.

JJmagnetic..I could very easily be wrong but is it possible that what you has as a child wasn't HSV but Impetigo? The rash is very similar and most people who do get it get it as children as I did. I grew up in the 60's & 70's and impetigo was very popular in the carribean.

Morning all. I have GHSV2 and was diagnosed about 4 YO but I believe I have had this alot longer when I look back on things. I can't remember my first outbreak which makes me think it was probably written off as yeast infection. When I do have an outbreak which is once or 2X a year it seems to be on my lower tailbone area which is never much of an issue besides the itchiness. I'm having a new symptom which makes me wonder though. I only get to see my guy about once a week due to his work schedule so when we do get together it can be pretty intense. Last week while we were together we included a new toy in the mix, one that stayed inside of me during sex. I noticed when we were done that I was a bit sore which I attributed to roughness and the new toy. It's been a week now and on and off since then I have noticed a slight uncomfortableness internally. Not really a burning or itching, kind of just a general soreness and there is no discharge. I can't feel any internal sores and there is nothing externally. Is it possible I'm still just sore from rough sex or maybe i am having a mild internal outbreak that I can't see or feel. I am on antivirals daily but my script ran out and I was off them for about 36 hours during this week but after our last encounter. Does anyone else have this happen?

Not a big deal as far as I'm concerned. In the grand scheme of life it means very little. I do just have one (GHSV2) but I can't say for certainty I was ever tested for HPV.

Optimist, Good point on how it's portrayed making a difference. If spoken of negatively or like it's a curse then that would definitely be a problem. I think when I told my son I was talking to my daughter in the kitchen about it and he walked in, I think I said something like "get what kid? Your moms a statistic" LOL. My daughter thought that was very amusing and my son was like "What"? I said, "Yep, I'm one of the millions in the world who were lucky enough to get herpes" Since then we've never looked back on talking about it. They know that if they do ever come down with this that's it means little in the reality of life and that hopefully they will be more accepting of others who have this then most people are. If we educate the young, hopefully in their lifetime the stigma will be gone replaced with either acceptance or a cure :).

MMissouri, I feel exactly the same way. Kids now a days are talking about sex at a much younger age then even most parents realize. The conversations that have gone on around my home over the years would make most people blush LOL. I kind of feel sorry for parents that can't or don't feel the need to have these discussions. I remember once when my son was probably about 8 or so, we were sitting at the table eating with a few of his friends over and he all the sudden blurts out "sex,sex,sex,sex" over and over again LOL. The look on his friends faces was classic. He just wanted to see what they would do or say if he did it. We still laugh about that now.

I was diagnosed about 4 years ago but it took me a few years before I told my kids. Since then I have told all 3 of my kids, 2 girls (22 & 19) and my 15YO son. I wanted to make sure they knew the risks involved in having sex but to also know that if it happened and they did get some form of an STD that they knew they could talk to me about it and that they would be better able to cope with it and that it was in no way the end of the world. Since then my kids and I have had numerous conversation on this, some humorous and some not but my kids all know they can talk to me about anything with absolutely no judgement. I have even had some of their friends talk to me about such things. My poll is this...how many of you out there (that have kids) that have some kind of an STD no matter what kind it is have told your kids? I can't help but think that if more of us talked to our kids that much of the stigma behind this might be put to rest somewhat.