casi1001

Hello fellow HSV veterans, I have a question for the consensus. I just started dating someone who has OHSV1 and I have GHSV2. I know that I should be pretty well protected from getting OHSV1 from him but he isn't protected from getting GHSV2 from me. We discussed it and decided I would go back on antivirals to give a bit more protection but I can't find anywhere how long we should wait before having sex. Does anyone have a timeline for me? Are we talking days or weeks?

Is there any documentation on that that you know of? Can I also assume the same goes the other way as well? Hsv1 from getting Hsv2?

Haven't posted in awhile but I do like to read the forums whenever I get the chance. I have HSV2G and have probably had it for quite awhile, (10+ years). I have recently decided to get back into the dating game and put my profile up on several different sites. For me I have always found that it was just easier if I put my condition in my profile and have it out there right up front as I'm not ashamed about it so why hide it. Believe it or not I have not had it be an issue at all and have even had many men tell me they admire me for it as it shows integrity. Someone I have been talking to but not yet met in person I believe has hsv1 as he has had cold sores for a good portion of his life but has never been diagnosed. He said he was tested after his divorce and that the panel did include hsv but it came back negative although I don't know what kind of test they preformed. I'm assuming his test was probably incorrect if he's been having cold sores. What I'm can't seem to remember or find on this site is what the transmission rates were if you already had hsv2g what are the chances of getting hsv1 either orally or genitally and vice versa? Does having an established condition give you any immunity to the other version of hsv? It's really a non issue for me if we hit it off but is more of a curiosity. I know that hsv2 really doesn't like the oral region where hsv1 can live happily in both regions. Would I still be at risk for getting hsv1 if he preforms oral on me?

sastre77, I wanted to write before but I don't have as much time as I used to lately LOL. First of all I myself have HSV2, I found out about 4 years ago but looking back I've probably had this alot longer. It hit me hard at first but as it sunk in and I found this site I realized that I'm just one of millions that have this. It really hasn't affected my dating in a bad way and in truth it's actually helped me. I have been using dating sites for a long time and about 3 years ago I decided that I didn't want to keep going through figuring out when to have the "talk" so I included my condition in my dating profile. It weeds out those that are only on those sites to hook up and if anyone does contact me they know that I have this. I have had nothing but positive feedback from any men contacting me and in fact I'm dating someone now who I met on an online site. We've been together for 7 month now and I love him to pieces. I decided years ago to let my kids know I have HSV for several reasons. One being that I've always told them the truth about everything and two that I wanted to make sure that if something happened and one of them did get this that they could handle it better. Low and behold my 19 YO daughter who is engaged to a wonderful man found out last week she tested positive for HSV1 oral. She and her fiance decided they wanted to both be tested to make sure and he was even with her when she got the results. He never batted an eye about the results and neither did she. My being honest with her and telling her about me having it made it something that wasn't a big deal. I am so very proud of her and her fiance for how they have handled this. Funny thing is that I can't remember her ever having a cold sore, go figure LOL. Let your daughter know you lover her and this doesn't change who she is or what she can do with her life. This can't define her life unless she lets it, keep reminding her of that.

Let me tell you a little story. A little over 2 years ago I met someone through a dating site and we hit it off like you wouldn't believe. I really fell hard for this guy and quick. We talked on the phone frequently as he's a truck driver with alot of time to talk sometimes. A few weeks later he invited me over to his place for the afternoon and things started to get pretty hot real fast. I'm afraid I didn't disclose very well but I did before things went to far. We stopped with the fooling around at that point and he asked some questions that I answered as best I could and we spent the rest of the day cutting hay on his farm with me riding on the tractor with him. He was a bit distant when I left and said he needed a bit of time and I respected that. Fast forward a few weeks. During this time I really only heard from him a few times and it was mostly through text. He said he was still thinking and I told him if he wanted to get a hold of me in the future he could. A few more weeks go by with no contact at all so as devastated as I was I went back to my online profile and completely rewrote it. I actually came out to everyone in my profile. I figured I wanted everyone to know before I went through something like that again. I was so surprised at the responses I got. I actually had MORE guys hitting on me then I ever did before. A few weeks later I started dating someone from the next state away and things went really well, we got engaged about 6 months in. During this time the other guy did get back a hold of me but by then I was with someone else and he didn't call me again. The new guy and I lasted about 18 months total before I found out he was still seeing at least two other women he's met online. I went back to the dating site I'd met him on and subscribed for another month so I could see if his profile was still active and it was. Within 2 hours of my profile becoming active again the original guy got a hold of me again and we started talking again. By this time I had of course told my ex-fiance to take a flying "leap". The original guy and I talked daily for about 6 weeks as I had moved out of state but we started dating again as soon as I moved back to where I had originally lived. He has come to terms with my condition and we hardly ever talk about it unless I feel I might be having an outbreak. I am on antivirals as it makes him feel a bit safer but it's now been 6 months and I love him to distraction. The moral I guess is that some people process information differently so you just never know. He had come to terms with it a few months after I told him but by then it was to late as I was with someone else and he knew he messed up. I think it was just in the cards for us to be together and believe me we've been making up with our sex life since we've been back together LOL. I don't plan on letting him get away again if I can help it. So hang in there and live your life. If it was meant to be who knows what will happen, it took me and my guy about 20 months apart so it really CAN happen. Hold your head UP and move on with your life. Life is good and it's so much better if you can look at things in a positive way.

Sadie, I have been in you position and know how you feel I promise. A few years ago I meet someone through a dating site and we had the best first date I've ever had. A few days later I told him of my situation and while he took it OK you can tell he was definitely surprised. When I left him a few hours later he basically told me he needed some time to think and do some research. That was before I found this site or I would have led him here. We continued to talk on the phone and text after that but I could tell things had changed. His calls/texts got fewer and longer in between yet he still said he was interested and needed time. About then a few weeks went by with me not hearing anything from him and I pretty much gave up and put my profile back up. Within days Someone else contacted me who knew my condition right from the start. I put my condition right in my profile so I never had to worry about having the "talk". New guy and I hit it off right away and we decided to get married. The previous guy did get a hold of me but by then I was with new guy so he didn't call back after that. New guy and I were together for 18 months when he basically left me for someone else. I put my profile back up and within 2 hours the first guy got back a hold of me. Since at that point I had moved to another state we talked on the phone for about 6 weeks reconnecting. I have been back now since new years of this year and we are still together. He came to grips with my condition (GHSV2) and we've never looked back. I'm on antivirals and we don't use condoms either. He knows the risks and is Ok with them. I really feel like we have a good chance of a future, I'm 49 and he's 48 BTW. I think what I'm trying to say here is that from what I can tell it's only been a few days since you told him. Guys process things different differently then women do so don't give up hope yet. Send him the links to this site and hopefully he will take the time to enlighten himself. My guy came to his senses to late and regretted it but by a stroke of luck he got a second chance :). Give your guy some time and see what happens. If it doesn't work out though I promise you'll be OK.

Belle3738, I was replying to anyone who could find it helpful :). I have to say though that I LOVE that you are willing to learn about working on cars, not many women have any interest like we do and in all honesty...guys find that hot. Have you suggested that he come to this site and read any of the post at all? He really might find that helpful. If he isn't interested in doing that I'd have to wonder if he was really interested at all to be honest. Sometimes men need to loose something for them to know what was right under their nose. Maybe you should consider either dating again or letting him know your thinking about it and see what he says or does? If you have been waiting for 9 long months I think he either needs a swift kick (nudge) or maybe you should think about trying to move on. I've been in your position (before I knew my diagnosis) and now that I look back I wish I had either been more forward or just moved on sooner then I did. Looking back I think of how much time I have wasted waiting on things. Life is to short, who really knows what will happen tomorrow so we have to learn to live for today. All H is is a skin condition in an inconvenient area. Everyone thinks they have something their embarrassed about for some reason or another, it could be a skin condition like this or Psoriasis or birthmarks or just something they did in their past. Don't let something like this that is so trivial in the grand scheme of things define who you are or what you do. Live your life and enjoy every minute of it, don't spend it all wondering "what if". You deserve everything you've always dreamed of, don't let this pebble trip you up.

In truth to me it sounds like you dodged a bullet. It sounds to me like he was pissed he spent money on the date and wasn't going to get anything out of it with what you told him. When I was dating online I actually put my conditions HSV2 in my profile and basically came out to everyone who read it. It was quit liberating to tell you the truth. I didn't have to worry about the "talk" and anyone who would potentially be getting a hold of me was OK with it. Believe it or not I actually had MORE men contacting me then before and even had both men and women writing me telling me how brave I was and that it showed integrity. I am actually dating a man who while he didn't reject me he did need some time to think about it. Turns out he had to wait 18 months while I dated someone else in the meantime LOL. He regrets that waited so long and then had to wait even longer :). We've been together now for about 4 months and things are going well and the sex was worth waiting for with him LOL.

Almost 2 years ago I met someone online that I really liked. At that point I had known about my status for a few years but hadn't found this site so I was still in the dark about a lot of things about having H. This guy and I talked on the phone quite a bit and finally met in person and had our first date. It was the best first date I had ever had, we had a picnic at the local lake, talked for hours and had our first kiss under a full moon at the lake edge there. It was absolutely wonderful. About a week later he invited me out to his place for the afternoon (he lives on a farm) and I did go. Things started to get a bit hot and heavy and it was at this point where I told him, he was definitely shocked. He thanked me for being honest and we spent the next few hours wondering around his farm. At that point we rarely went a day without speaking and now it was days and he hadn't called. When I called or texted him he would tell me he was still interested but needed to do some research. Days became weeks and we rarely spoke, I was devastated to say the least. It was then that I discovered this site and educated myself. I also decided to keep dating so I completely rewrote my profile and come out to everyone in my profile. I decided I wasn't going through that again and that I wanted anyone who might be interested to know before we even contacted each other. Funny thing with that, I was getting more people, both men and women contacting me and telling me that not only did that take guts but it also showed integrity. I was also getting more men contacting me then before, go figure. It was then that I met someone from a different state and we wound up dating for the next 18 months. I even moved out of state to be with him for awhile. He didn't care about my condition at all. Unfortunately that didn't work out for other reasons and I put my profile back up. I kid you not but within 3 hours of my profile being back up the previous man I was seeing got a hold of me. He regretted what he did and letting me get away and we are now back together these last four months. Not only that but the sex is fantastic, he has come to terms with it and it truly isn't an issue. I guess my point of writing this book is to say that sometimes the ones who seem to "run" at first just need some time. My guy had to wait for a year and a half until I was available again but at the moment things are going well.

JJmagnetic..I could very easily be wrong but is it possible that what you has as a child wasn't HSV but Impetigo? The rash is very similar and most people who do get it get it as children as I did. I grew up in the 60's & 70's and impetigo was very popular in the carribean.

Morning all. I have GHSV2 and was diagnosed about 4 YO but I believe I have had this alot longer when I look back on things. I can't remember my first outbreak which makes me think it was probably written off as yeast infection. When I do have an outbreak which is once or 2X a year it seems to be on my lower tailbone area which is never much of an issue besides the itchiness. I'm having a new symptom which makes me wonder though. I only get to see my guy about once a week due to his work schedule so when we do get together it can be pretty intense. Last week while we were together we included a new toy in the mix, one that stayed inside of me during sex. I noticed when we were done that I was a bit sore which I attributed to roughness and the new toy. It's been a week now and on and off since then I have noticed a slight uncomfortableness internally. Not really a burning or itching, kind of just a general soreness and there is no discharge. I can't feel any internal sores and there is nothing externally. Is it possible I'm still just sore from rough sex or maybe i am having a mild internal outbreak that I can't see or feel. I am on antivirals daily but my script ran out and I was off them for about 36 hours during this week but after our last encounter. Does anyone else have this happen?

Not a big deal as far as I'm concerned. In the grand scheme of life it means very little. I do just have one (GHSV2) but I can't say for certainty I was ever tested for HPV.

Optimist, Good point on how it's portrayed making a difference. If spoken of negatively or like it's a curse then that would definitely be a problem. I think when I told my son I was talking to my daughter in the kitchen about it and he walked in, I think I said something like "get what kid? Your moms a statistic" LOL. My daughter thought that was very amusing and my son was like "What"? I said, "Yep, I'm one of the millions in the world who were lucky enough to get herpes" Since then we've never looked back on talking about it. They know that if they do ever come down with this that's it means little in the reality of life and that hopefully they will be more accepting of others who have this then most people are. If we educate the young, hopefully in their lifetime the stigma will be gone replaced with either acceptance or a cure :).

MMissouri, I feel exactly the same way. Kids now a days are talking about sex at a much younger age then even most parents realize. The conversations that have gone on around my home over the years would make most people blush LOL. I kind of feel sorry for parents that can't or don't feel the need to have these discussions. I remember once when my son was probably about 8 or so, we were sitting at the table eating with a few of his friends over and he all the sudden blurts out "sex,sex,sex,sex" over and over again LOL. The look on his friends faces was classic. He just wanted to see what they would do or say if he did it. We still laugh about that now.

I was diagnosed about 4 years ago but it took me a few years before I told my kids. Since then I have told all 3 of my kids, 2 girls (22 & 19) and my 15YO son. I wanted to make sure they knew the risks involved in having sex but to also know that if it happened and they did get some form of an STD that they knew they could talk to me about it and that they would be better able to cope with it and that it was in no way the end of the world. Since then my kids and I have had numerous conversation on this, some humorous and some not but my kids all know they can talk to me about anything with absolutely no judgement. I have even had some of their friends talk to me about such things. My poll is this...how many of you out there (that have kids) that have some kind of an STD no matter what kind it is have told your kids? I can't help but think that if more of us talked to our kids that much of the stigma behind this might be put to rest somewhat.

If I have to give up my nuts I'll go nuts LOL. I could seriously live off of certain kinds of nuts. I think it will probably depend on the individual as I typically have a decent handful of various nuts every day and it hasn't caused any breakouts with me that I know of and that's while not on any antivirals. I do have a pretty healthy immune system though so I don't know if that makes a difference.

Hi everyone :). I need some info from those who are on the antivirals. As many of you know I have been talking to someone for close to 2 months now whom I like very much, he even frequents this site too for info so ya gotta love that. We talk about H all the time and I am thinking I would like to go on the antivirals to safeguard him in the future should we truly get together as he lives about 6 hours away at the moment. My question is once you go on the antivirals is there a timeline for it to say "kick in" or maybe "start working" is a better way of phrasing it. It probably won't make any difference if other precautions are taken at the same time but I can't find anywhere else where it may have been mentioned. Another question is that do any of you that are on the antivirals have a preference to which one you do prefer? How about side effects from them although I'm sure that will depend you everyones individual system. I do have hypothyroidism but have been quite healthy besides that unless you count normal aches from getting older LOL. Sorry but I do have one more question.... Is it true that you will normally shed from the same areas you have your OB's? The only "real" OB I know I've had with certainty in on my hinny a few inches from from my tailbone. Would that mean that when I shed it would "typically" be in that area? OK I lied, one more question LOL. Has anyone tried Bentonite clay when they've had an OB? I mixed up a paste of Bentonite clay, coconut oil, tea tree oil & peppermint oil when I had my last OB and it helped quite a bit. The peppermint oil helped with the itching too. I discovered this as I was on a quest this summer to find a natural bug bite relief and came up with this minus the coconut oil and it really helped. You can find the clay in many health food stores nowadays. OK I'm done now LOL and thanks to all :)

Funny thing is that I think I have been mistaking my OBs for something else in the past. I thought that I never got any GOB but thinking back I had a couple of what I thought were nasty yeast infections from a very strong dose of antibiotics that could have been OB's but they didn't last long and it was before I tested positive. I do think I've had this for well more then 3 years but I have only known for 3 years. I am still learning about my OB's and any prodones (?) because besides having Hypothyroidism and being a bit over weight I very rarely get sick (knock on wood here). I really can't recall having flu like symptoms or the like when I wasn't sick and any muscle aches I have just attributed to getting older, I'll be 48 in a few weeks but I sure don't feel like I am. I only recently realized that the OB on my hinny was probably just that last month. I think it was last year during the summer I had what I thought was just a sore in the same place and since it was so hot I didn't think anything of it. I made the connection last month when I remembered I had a sore there last year and it was exactly alike. Problem is trying to get a visual on the location haha. It's in a hard place to see without contorting yourself LOL. I did find that using Bentonite clay, coconut oil, tea tree oil and peppermint oil helped a great deal, I just made a paste out of it and put some on whenever I needed to and especially right before bed. Bentonite clay is something I have never heard anyone mention but might be worth looking into for some as it has SOOOOOO many used and is all natural. I wonder if the itching on the hinny comes from being so close to the base of the spine?

The only place I have OB's that I really can say with certainty I get at the top of my backside about an inch down from the start of the crease of your butt and in the crease LOL. When I do have them there they do itch like mad. I've heard that that is a common area as it's just below the base of your spine where this madness lives :). I am thankful that's the only place I've has OB so far as it's a much more convenient location to scratch if you need to LOL.

Thanks Lynn but I'm in Illinois LOL so getting together in AZ would be a bit hard ;). I'd be happy to email you, I'll do that here a just a few so you have my address.

I couldn't find the facebook group you were talking about, is it on facebook or is it just a different site? I'm sorry you think your father might react badly. A lot of it may be the way things used to be in "his day" and age and how they looked at sex and more so though as to what they thought they knew about H. You can try and hide it from him or you could use it to maybe educate him on what it really is. He probably talks the way he does out of ignorance (nothing against your father) as it wasn't something that was talked about just like sex wasn't talked about unfortunately. It's a hard choice to make on your part but just remember that he should love you no matter what. This (H) is nothing more then an inconvenient skin rash not a death sentence by any means. I am finding that most of the people who bad mouth and make fun of people who have an STD do so out of ignorance and are usually terrified it could happen to them but they are to scared to even think of being tested. Out of site out of mind basically.

I decided several months ago that I was done hiding and worrying about having the "talk" so I came out in my profile and it was the best thing I have ever done. I should also say that it was a normal dating site (Farmers Only) and not one for those with an STD. I didn't have any luck with that one at all. I had someone contact me about 6 weeks ago (after my coming out) and we have been talking ever since. I think we can both see us together in the future and have talked about everything you can think of including H but time will tell as we are in different states. Funny thing too, after I came out on my profile I found I was getting alot more "likes" and men contacting me then I did before. Go figure LOL.

I can so understand with what your saying :). I found out I had H 3 years ago but I suspect I've had it a bit longer then that but I don't recall ever really having any outbreaks. It is possible a bad yeast infection I had 4-5 years ago may have been one but it went away pretty quick and that was before I tested positive so I didn't think to be tested for anything. At the time I found out I was positive I had been talking to someone for several months on the phone and had just met casually a few times. I told him and he of course came up with all kinds of excuses to stop seeing each other LOL, good riddance. Over the years I have talked to a number of different me with mixed results, some were OK with it but we just didn't mesh on other levels. About mid summer I started talking to someone who was in my area and we hit it off right away. We talked almost every day and had a great first date. I disclosed to him after the first date and he said he needed time to do some research and would get back to me, yeh yeh. Needless to say he didn't. It was after that that I decided I was done hiding and was done with worrying about having the dreaded "talk". I had a profile up on Farmers Only (I'm VERY rural) and decided it was time I "came out" LOL, so I did. I went through and revamped my profile and also included a bunch of info that the everyday public had no clue about. Things like statistics on how many people have this and don't know it and that normal STD testing doesn't include the HSV test. I figured if nothing else I might be able to educate at least a few people and make a few others think twice about their behavior and wants. I never got any negative comments and in fact found I got more "likes" then I did before. Funny thing, early this summer (before coming out) I had a brief conversation with a man and then he was gone. That happened all the time so I never thought twice about it. Fast forward to within days of my coming out he contacts me again. He said something made him click on my profile again and when he saw my changes he had to contact me again. That was about 6 weeks ago and we still talk all the time as he lives about 6 hours away from me and in a different state. He isn't bothered by H at all and we talk freely about it all the time. I think we can both see a future with each other as we have so much in common on so many levels but time will tell. He even comes to this site and reads the forum :). Coming out on my profile was the absolute best thing I could have done and was so freeing, no-more dreaded talks. I don't worry about people in my area finding out because I'm to the point where I really don't care what others think of me. My kids know and could care less and will also be better informed with their sex lives as they grow. I don't go out of my way to tell people I have H but if someone were to ask I would have no problem telling them. In many ways having H has made me a stronger person. If someone doesn't want to be around me because of this then don't let the door hit you in the backside when you leave LOL and they are probably not someone I'd want in my life anyways. I didn't mean for this to be a book sorry :).

If someone can't love you because of this then I would have to question if they were worth knowing in the first place. Let this make you a better person (not that you weren't before LOL) in the long run. Having H will change how you look at life and what you want out of it but that's not always a bad thing. I have found that since I started telling everyone it feels like a 50lb weight was lifted off of me. I am even considering looking into ways of helping others with this because only someone with H can truly understand the feelings that go along with it. This site has helped SOOOOO many people including me. If there is ever anything I can do to help you please do just ask. I promise things will get better, you MUST believe that. Remember too that No-one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

I have talked to several men on the site I'm one (Farmers Only) and I have found that since coming out I get a lot more "likes" too, go figure. I am still talking to one in particular man whom I like very much but we live in different states but were working on that. Funny thing too, a man I met through that site over the summer before I came out pretty much back peddled after finding out has been calling me again. I'm not interested in him anymore after talking to this other man who could care less about my condition. I have found that since coming out I feel so much more at ease knowing that anyone who contacts me already knows. I also look at my profile now as a way of educating others. I have included all the pertinent info and statistics about herpes and hope that even if someone isn't interested in me maybe they will be a bit more educated about this condition and be more careful in the future or even consider being tested themselves. I look at life this way, you only live once and it's way to short to worry about every tiny thing and that's what this is, a TINY inconvenience. Anyone who either doesn't want to date me or know me because of this ISN"T WORTH KNOWING!!! I think that most people are scared of this "issue" because it may hit to close to home for them and make them wonder "what if". Live your life for YOU, no-one else. If we never step out of our comfort zone we'll never know what we might be missing. Having H does make us have to harden ourselves to a point but it also makes us better people in many ways. Remember "no-one can make you feel inferior without YOUR permision" and I refuse to give anyone that permission :). If you want to see my profile on Farmers only just search "Irefusetohide" on that site.