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desertlove

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  1. Hi, It's been quite some time since i've logged in. So I am going into my 5th year with HSV2 and i'm still getting an OB once a month (around my period). I've tried acyclovir and more recently changed over to valtrex, but I don't see much help from them. And while my symptoms have decreased a lot (to the point where I don't even realize I'm about to get a blister until it appears) I have come to the realization that my anxiety must be the cause of my constant ob's even after 5 years of having it!!! By now I surely thought that I'd be having one or two a year :(. I even avoided alcohol and chocolate for months thinking it was the food I was consuming. Anyone have similar experience and if you did or do, how are you managing your anxiety. Have you seen a decrease in your obs? Thank you!
  2. Thought I'd share what happened to me an hour ago. Just yesterday I was sharing my frustration about not knowing or meeting anyone with genital herps. WELL, I went to my local herb shop to look for some lemon balm for my rash and I ended up telling the worker about my herpes and she admitted to having Hsv2 also! She's had it for 17 years. She was with her giver for 5, but then married someone else!!! She is happily married and has a 7 year old :). Even though she's one of the lucky ones since she hasn't had an outbreak since her primary, she was very helpful and positive. I mentioned to her about my post from yesterday and she smiled and said "ask and you shall receive". Im not religious BUT it felt right. Also, last time I was there the other employee told me about how her sister was diagnosed 2 years ago. The weird thing is that on both occasions I hadn't planned on going but because I drove by I decided to stop. I left the herb shop feeling extremely happy and hopeful :). Oh I ended up buying some Lemon Balm liquid extract and lemon balm soother/salve for my rash! Anyways, this just shows that we aren't alone but also that maybe we should be more open to sharing our status. <3
  3. I completely understand you. I'd wait until you see him in person, but if it feels right to you, then go ahead and disclose over FaceTime! Goodluck!
  4. Also, since condoms won't protect my future partner from that area, I worry that I'll transmit it to them :(. Maybe covering that area with a bandaid or some medical tape might help?
  5. Thank you for clarifying. That's what I have understood also, but that idea crossed my mind after realizing I was having new symptoms. I'm pretty sure that part of my buttocks got infected from my last encounter with my giver. It makes perfect sense to me because where I get my rash is where his scrotum touched (sorry tmi!). I am currently on acyclovir. I've thought about valtrex but I have to do my research. I think i've heard valtrex might have some negative side effects? I went to my local herb shop recently and they gave me some tea for the nerves. I'm hoping that will help out a bit. Thank you! :( I try to stay positive but sometimes I can't help but get really down about it. I hope that by next year the rash will go away. @HikingGirl
  6. Thank you for sharing!:) When it comes to casual sex, when do you disclose?
  7. Im 3 months shy from my 2 year anniversary. Next week will be a year since I had intercourse. Even thought I have come along way, deep down I'm still in pain and struggle with self-confidence. If I think too hard about everything that happened between my giver and I, I will tear up or cry. My emotions are so strong that I have even shed some tears in public and even at work (when no one is looking). Another thing that upsets me is the fact that I get a rash where us girls tend to get wedgies. My first year I was rash free but I think my herpes spread to that area after having sex with my giver last year (he gets obs on his scrotum). I don't even get blisters on my genitals anymore:(, just this stupid rash that I deal with almost everyday (its worse than getting them on my genitals). I can't wear normal underwear anymore because the extra fabric (even if its cotton) will cause friction if I wear it for too long. I found that thongs work better since they stay in place. When I'm home I go comando. I can't even go to the gym sometimes because of how bothersome it is and this is what frustrates me and angers me. I start thinking about how on earth I will be a able to manage it when I start working as a Biological technician. We hike all day! :/ I try to stay away from bad foods and I take antivirals but I've concluded that it's most likely the friction that is causing the rash. I feel hopeless :(. Okay I've been having this weird thought for a few months.... since it is a skin condition... is there a possibility of surgically removing the skin thats infected to stop the rash from happening in that spot? Or because the virus has already made its appearance there it will keep recurring there regardless of it being new skin? Also, I wish I could meet people with hsv2. There aren't any support groups in my area. I think that would help me feel less alone. I'm grateful for this forum, however not being able to put faces to like 99% of you still makes me feel alone. I've put my profile picture up before but I always end up taking it down because I feel self conscious that you guys can see my face but I can't see yours lol. I don't know what to do about my herpes anymore. Sorry for the rant!
  8. Hey, how are you doing? Did you end up disclosing? I know its hard. I'm currently dealing with a similar situation. Stay positive!
  9. Yes, I guess I'm a hot mess right now lol. I don't want to have intercourse with him because at this point in my life, I only want to have intercourse with someone I'd officially be dating. Well, I feel rejected because I can tell he wouldn't want anything serious with me. It is finals week for him so I understand he is busy, but I messaged him earlier just to wish him good luck on his exam and he just texted me back. Yet he had been posting snapchat videos lol. I have a feeling he is going to ask me to go over. Deep down I just want to feel loved and be in a serious relationship. @HikingGirl
  10. @hippyherpy I understand that, but I just wish they would be safer. I've been following your herpes journey for some time now lol. I find that guys have better luck when disclosing. Do you have any advice?
  11. I've mostly dated hispanic men. Since being diagnosed I've wondered if latino men are more judgmental than lets say white men when it comes to herpes? I haven't disclosed to any new partners, but for some reason I feel like hispanic men might not be as open to seeing me once I disclose to them. Maybe because they do tend to be a bit more macho. Does anyone have any personal experience with this?
  12. I believe without condoms there is 10-15% chance of transmission , not sure if thats when you are shedding or not. Have you considered taking antivirals to help reduce the transmission rate? Has your partner tested negative for hsv1 or hsv2? {{Hugs}}
  13. Maybe disclosing to him even if I get rejected will be my breakthrough? Maybe I'll feel empowered and feel like I have some control over my life again?
  14. I've been hanging out with a guy for the past 2 weeks. We've made out and cuddled, but I want to get a lil friskier. Maybe not have sex, but I would like for him to mess around with me. I have hsv2. I told him that I don't like one night stands and that's why I won't have sex with him, but he thinks I'm mostly being shy. I might of mest up already because things got a lil hot and heavy and I ended up going down on him. I'm hsv1 negative, but still I probably shouldn't have until disclosing I have Ghsv2. I hate feeling like I'm hiding this big dark secret and beating around the bush. It makes me feel immature and insecure. Part of me wants to tell him I have it, but since he is moving away for the summer and I might be moving for good next month is it even worth telling him and getting more intimate with him? I know I won't handle rejection well, but tbh, I already feel a bit rejected by him. He is really cool and I could see myself wanting to get to know him more, but I get the feeling he is just seeing this as a fun time. Im just really tired, angry, and frustrated over keeping this in. I also, know we will most likely keep being friends even if I move away so I wouldn't want this to bite me in butt if I were to see him in the future and disclose then. He might ask me why I didn't disclose when we first met. >.< I've been having mini meltdowns over this. Feeling like I'm doomed.
  15. What about giving oral to someone? I am hsv1 negative but ghsv 2 positive.
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