blessedheart89

I have HSV 2. Have had it since 2015, and I have been unmedicated and asymptomatic since my first outbreak. I recently began dating someone new. We had the talk, I answered his questions to the best of my ability. We decided no sex for now, fooling around was optional. He went down on me last night. This morning he has a sore kinda chapped spot on the corner of his lips (like the actual corner of his mouth). He didn’t suggest anything but of course I had the “oh shit did I give him bad information about the extremely low odds of transmitting genital hsv 2 to his face?!” thoughts. Please reassure me that the odds of this are slim and even so, he wouldn’t have symptoms so fast right?! Right?!

When I was first diagnosed over a year and a half ago, my primary outbreak was hellacious in terms of how sick it made me. The high fever, severe headaches, nerve pain, hip pain, shoot---overall body pain! Since then I haven't had any outbreaks but I thought I was prodromal a few times (sudden itching/irritation), took my valtrex, and nothing ever came of it. Now here I am, and over the past three days I've had terrible headaches, body aches, hip pain, fever... and def prodromal down there starting today. Wth?! I thought I was only supposed to get these symptoms the first time?! I have zero other signs of illness, and called my gyno who told me to double up on my first dose. Anybody else have this? I mean I'm grateful that I've been pretty asymptomatic until this point without the usage of daily meds (doc wanted to see how things played out rather than put me on maintenance). So I'm curious, anyone else run into this? Is it completely abnormal to have these symptoms even after the primary?

So after months of being single and avoiding the dating scene since splitting with the guy that infected me, I started talking to someone. I finally felt it appropriate to disclose, and he is trying to be understanding. The problem is all of the bad or misleading information out there. I have genital HSV 2, and have for over a year now. He's afraid to kiss me! I'm just not sure how to convince him that I won't put him at risk without informing him of the risk, or that there is still so much non-sexual intercourse stuff we can do that doesn't necessarily put him at risk. It's so frustrating! Anyone else run into this? How did you combat the bad info?

I remember someone posting that herpes caused chronic fatigue syndrome for them. I can't recall who. Can anyone provide more information on this? I feel like I've never fully regained my energy since my first ob, during which I became so ill that I ended up in the er. I feel so tired all the time. It's not depression (I work in mental health and actively self care). Right now I'm not on a suppressive dosage of valtrex. I'm only to take if I begin to feel like I'm going to have an ob. Could a suppressive dosage help? This is affecting my social life as I feel too tired to go out, and I end up spending my lunch break at work napping and then eating while I work. Thank you in advance for any info.

I found out that I have H at the start of Oct. I got really really ill, so my doc suspects that this was my primary. He tested positive on a blood test around the same time, so we know he had it at least a few months at that point. He's been out of the country for work, but will be back for a month next week. Obv we hope to get our freak on, but he's healing from an OB. Well.., okay he had an OB in Nov, but he said it's not 100% healed (he's black, so maybe it's actually scarring and he's not sure what he's seeing? He said it's neither painful nor itchy). So, can we have sex while he's here? We both have hsv2 (best we can figure, I got it from him). Do we think I've had enough time to build antibodies so I won't get it other places?

The only way you will know how it affect you is to go off of it, but ask to have valtrex handy just in case, and as soon as you think you have any symptoms, hit it hard. I find that for me, that does the trick ... and given that you have been without a period for awhile it may take a bit for your system to figure out how to deal with the virus. Definitely consult your Dr too.. about everything... but I think it's reasonable to have the Valtrex on hand :) My doc is awesome. From the get go she gave me an RX for valtrex with three refills (and there's like 30 pills in each RX). She said if I need it more than that in the next year then we will consider suppressive dosing.

Well do what you think is best for you. If you start having very painful periods and sensations like it's pulling inside and hurts, that's a huge indicator. What makes them suspect it? Just so you know, once your off bc and if you do have endo, despite being under doctor supervision or not, the damage is done. The hormones will start stimulating the growth of the lesions and then you start having pain. Getting back on bc at that point doesn't reverse it. It may alleviate some of the pain but that's about it.. So just be careful. Severely painful cycles that are very clotty and a family history of it. I never confirmed because she said the course of action would be birth control anyways.

If you have endometriosis, stopping bc is a HUGE mistake. Take it from me who has stage 4, had two surgeries and my last one being so severe, I ended up in the ER away on business, across countey from my home. I had internal bleeding, a 5hr surgery and lost my right ovary and fallopian tube. They were the size of softballs, because I developed endometriosis inside my ovaries a second time. It got on my intestines and requires a second surgeon. They said it was the most complicated case they'd ever seen. I was a mess, it was everywhere. I couldn't have a bowel movement, w out feeling my insides were being ripped out of me or even sit sometimes w out feeling like someone was impaling me. That second surgery was a yr n half after my first. Had I taken bc like I was told, I'd never had gotten that bad and had surgery again. I am now two yrs after my second and have been in BC. When I mess around and not start my packet after my cycle for two weeks again, I feel stuff is sticking and pulling on the left side of my abdomen. My first surgery I had endometriomas as well in my ovaries the size of lemons. They made my ovaries stuck together and then my left side was sticking to my abdominal wall. It hurt so bad and just leaning into the mirror could send me I to excruciating pain for an hr and I can't move. Don't do it, you will regret that decision if you do in fact have endometriosis. For the first yr, I would breakout on the 3rd day of my cycle w a single internal sore. I only knew it was there, because it would hurt a little to remove or insert a tampon and left a circular spot on the same place every time. The last few periods, I've not had it happen. You will never know, everyone is different. Most seem to have an OB the week before their period, when the hormones start making huge fluctuations in preparation for the cycle. The endo is suspected. I have never confirmed. If I stopped it would be under my doctors supervision.

Right now I'm on the nuvaring as my birth control method, and I use it to skip periods due to suspected endometriosis (this is under my doctors supervision of course!). I've been on bc for a decade, have no plans of being intimate anytime soon, and prior to my herpes diagnosis had been seriously considering having a discussion with my doctor about quitting it for a while (something in me just feels a need to have my body back). I know the literature says that having a cycle may cause an outbreak, so I'd be doing myself a favor by staying on it and skipping cycles. But I'm curious, for how many of you has that been your actual experience? Is it extremely common for it to correlate with your cycle, or just with some people?

@blessedheart89 Your initial ob sounds a lot like mine, thought I had an allergic reaction to Monistat, but nope. I was lucky I had a nice doctor who was really on the ball and knew right away. I struggled a lot initially and was very depressed. I actually had slept with a few guys, after YEARS of only being with my husband (separated) and I felt like it was punishment for enjoying sex for the first time in a long time. I'm a singer, and for a couple of weeks I had a really hard time with my confidence and feeling like I was worthy of attention from anyone, let alone the opposite gender. Singing made me sad. It was a nightmare. I also felt like I couldn't tell anyone. I don't personally have any experience with military folk, but I can imagine that it must be incredibly difficult for you, and I'm so sorry. I told a friend who lives far away first, and I recommend that--someone you don't have to see at work. You are worthy of love, I promise. @2Legit2Quit was awesome and answered so many questions for me, and she's SO right, it does get better.. This site is amazing. One in five... That's a lot of people out there with this. You aren't alone. And you'll be stronger for it in the long run. Oh yeah... I was so swollen I could barely pee. It was awful! The scary thing is, if you google Monistat reactions, you will see a lot of girls complain of a similar reaction. Part of me wants to go on there and be like "GO GET TESTED FOR HERPES!" If I, as someone who is a veteran yeast infection experiencer, could misdiagnose myself, surely others can as well! It's interesting that you mention telling someone far away at first. When I first got the news, I couldn't get ahold of my ex. I had been texting with a close male friend who lives really far away and I was in such shock and utter disbelief that I just wrote, "I just found out I have herpes." He immediately wrote back, "I'm going to call you." He ended up sharing that his ex had been raped while they were together, and they didn't know she had it right away so he was exposed and ended up getting it. It was such a relief to have someone I could ask questions of and just unload to. My ex appears to be taking the news like a typical guy... He really doesn't want to talk about it, and shuts down if I bring it up. Me? I like to hash things out and process them out loud (hard to do with this though). He is more of an internal processor. He'll chew it up and makes sense of it in his own heart.

Honestly, I'm not too interested in the timeframe of when I got it because I know that it came from him. Thinking about it like that, however, if he turned up positive on his blood test, that means that he didn't get it during our break up (our break up had only been about 1.5 months prior to us hooking up and me having symptoms). I'm certain he was faithful to me, so I must've just never contracted it or never shown symptoms until then. Oh I completely understand that this is a grief process and that most people have the same feelings and it's a matter of working through them. I personally have never really been big into the dating scene anyways because being a young, single female on a military installation it's very easy to get a reputation. Due to the nature of my job (behavioral health), it's important for me to protect my professional reputation so I'm very choosey about who I go out with. That being said, I guess there's something about the knowledge that even if I wanted to go out and do my thing, I really don't have that option now. Like I said in my initial discussion, even if someone was accepting, I really struggle with the idea of potentially infecting someone else. Also, the ex and I are still unfinished business so that's holding me back. Thanks for the response and the encouragement!

So I found out on Oct 5th that I have herpes. HOW I found out was completely crazy. I am prone to yeast infections from ridiculous stuff like switching laundry detergent or new soap. So I *thought* I was getting a yeast infection. I bought the OTC cream and the next thing I knew I had what I would equate to "severe burns" down there. After four days of excruciating pain, I went to my ob gyn. She was concerned because the "burns" (which they really did look like burns... Like if you get a rug burn and the skin is missing and it's shiney) were in only a few spots, so she swabbed me and gave me some lidocaine so it wouldn't hurt so bad to pee and told me we'd have my results in a week. That was a Monday. Thursday I was running such a high fever that I couldn't keep my clothes dry, I had the absolute worst body aches and headaches, and I passed out. After I passed out I went to the ER. They suspected my issue was a secondary UTI resulting from the "burns" caused by the yeast infection medication (this could not be confirmed because I was also on my period so blood was to be expected in my urine; they suspected it because my urine WBC was 11, which I've since learned herpes can do). I was given morphine, fluids, and antibx and sent home. The following Monday I got the call from my ob gyn that I tested positive for HSV 2. Turns out, yes the monistat burnt me, but that is WHY it burnt me. I was having an outbreak. She started me on Valtrex, but for now I will only use it if I have an outbreak. So then I am faced with having to call my "male friend." The week prior when my doctor suspected it, I had mentioned it to him so he went and got tested (blood test and full STD test) and was told "if you hear nothing, that's good news." Now, he and I had dated for about 8 months, broke up, and were debating on reconciling at the time (still are, he's military though and now in another country). We hooked up twice during our trial reconciliation, and I became symptomatic a few days after that. Due to the severity of my symptoms, my doc thinks that was probably my primary infection. Obviously we can't confirm this, but it would be quite the coincidence! At any rate, I call him and tell him. He's in disbelief. Says he's never had symptoms, and his doc hasn't called so "no news is good news." I explain to him that I was tested TWICE over a period of six months after my ex and I split (my ex had cheated) so I KNOW I was clean, and I'm not blaming him (I truly don't). So the next day he was due to move (we had known for like six months that he'd be leaving) and we meet up to say our goodbyes. He gets into my car in tears. He had called medical and the corpsman initially gave him the all clear for a laundry list of STDs. My friend asked, "What about herpes?" the guy double checked and said, "Ohh... Yeah, that's positive. I'm going to have to have the doc call you." So literally moments before our goodbye is when he found out. We don't know if he had it all along and I just never happened to get it or become symptomatic until this month, or if it happened during our break up period (he has yet to confirm or deny whether anything happened during that time, and I'd just as soon not bother myself wondering.) Sooo... That is my herpes story. I'll be honest, I am struggling with this diagnosis. I work on a military installation in a professional field, but I see how the servicemembers talk about the girls who have herpes and the stigma attached to it. I've also always been a very confident, attractive young woman (I do not sleep around), so it's hard to receive attention right now. The few people who have tried, I've pushed away. I just can't help but think, "if you knew my secret, you wouldn't want me." And I know that is a perfectly normal reaction and I will process through it eventually. For right now, however, I just do not feel very attractive or sexy. At my worst, I've almost felt like a leper. I just feel like it will be very difficult for me to share my secret around here because it's a small military community and word spreads fast. It will take someone special for me to get to a point of trusting enough to tell this to, and even then I struggle with the idea of risking infecting someone else. I didn't have a choice, my ex/male friend/whatever didn't have a choice. I just don't know if I feel as though I'm worth someone making that kind of risk, you know? So, thanks for reading my lengthy book I've written. I'm sure I'll have lots of questions as this sets in. Glad I have a resource to talk/unload/seek information/etc.