Train

What an awesome story. I can relate to a lot of what you posted, but I just kind of wanted to touch on your point about how herpes forces you to actually go out and go on meaningful dates. It forces you to really, REALLY get to know someone before you disclose. And disclosing gives you an opportunity to show this person that you care enough about them to reveal something very personal about you, and also that by disclosing you are showing you are a person of integrity and character. Isn't it crazy? Before I had gotten herpes I never really went on meaningful dates much, but now that I do, it's great and I love it. Funny how sometimes it takes sometjing like getting herpes to really make you reevaluate how you'd been conducting your romantic life, and to make changes that in the long run can be so beneficial. And you're right, maybe you'll be just fine too. You will be, I will be, and the world is gonna keep turning. Thanks so much for sharing your story.

"if you knew my secret, you wouldn't want me." That couldn't be farther from the truth. I know it's hard to just find out, but promise me when I tell you, you will find someone again (or get back with your ex, etc). Here's the thing -- when you disclose something like this to someone, it says a ton about you. It shows not only that you care about THEM, but that you are an honest person with integrity and character. Those are two values that can be extremely hard to find in people. So if it's the right guy, he will be accepting of you, and hopefully, even supportive. I'm a guy, but the girl I'm seeing now, when I told her, obviously she was surprised at first but she grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug and thanked me for telling her. She asked some questions, did her own research, Etc, but were still together and we are crazy about each other. She SUPPORTS me. I think honestly me having herpes and telling her about it made us grow as a couple and we became so much closer. After telling someone about it, I feel like I can tell that person anything. So sorry for rambling a bit there, but the point is, you're not unwanted. The right person will accept it and be there for you. Good luck!

Hmmm I'd have to say the stupidest thing someone ever said to me was my ex-girlfriend, who obviously knew I have herpes. Anyways, she had trust issues and one night she was getting very uneasy about my having female friends. I told her she had nothing to worry about and of course I'd never cheat and she folded her arms, looked me dead in the eyes and said "Yeah, because you CAN'T". That really took me aback because obviously that was a jab at my condition. I was just like "wow. Really? How dare you have the gall to throw that in my face like that. Leave." She later apologized vehemently and begged for me back but I was over her crap.

Hey what's up Onelife! It seems you're already moving forward with it and that's great, that was gonna be my suggestion. When you do disclose, just make sure you have a positive attitude about it and be upfront how it has affected your life. For me at least, I tell people it hasn't changed mine at all. I occasionally get a small outbreak and while it's a little annoying, that's all it is. Sort of annoying. The hardest part is telling others, not the herpes itself. Good luck, if it's the right guy, he should and will be supportive of it and, ideally, thrilled you had the guts and integrity to tell him. Good luck!

What's up everyone. I'm a 23 year old fitness model and young professional in Central Texas. I love rodeos, cheap beer, and loud country music. I'm new to this community and love it, and would love to share my experience with anyone and also hear from others. I got herpes in college not too long ago. Anyways, I just wanted to say my best potential tool as a resource would be disclosure. I always disclose when I feel a relationship turning physical, and yeah it's hard -- but guess what? People respect you for telling them. It shows you're an honest person with integrity and character. I've disclosed to three people, and none of them have rejected me for it. In fact, they have all told me after the fact how appreciative they were to me for telling them, or that I showed to them "I'm a keeper" after having done so. So that's what I can bring to the table. As for what I would specifically like, is just someone who's a bit more experienced, especially in the dating zone, and can sort of share their experiences with it -- I just started seeing a new girl, I'm crazy about her, disclosed and she's okay with it. But would just love someone to talk with about it sometimes. Feel free to send me a message, male, female, dog cat whatever from anywhere. Thanks y'all Edit: I'm a dude