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Cleopatra

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  1. Hey. I too have a generously proportioned boyfriend. Lube was a help for us even before the herpes but it was a life saver after. It's perfectly understandable to be worried about having sex again; after all, you're in pain right now. Honestly, for me, I did have some problems the first few times (but everyone's different). I had had a very bad first outbreak. Even the doctor winced when she examined me. One big sore was right on the entrance to my vagina and this damaged the skin there, leaving it weak. When I had sex again, it was a bit painful in that spot, but changing positions alleviated the pressure. I went back to the doctor, paranoid that I was having another outbreak. She said she could see why I thought that, but it was just a split in the skin from the friction because it was weakened. She gave me a natural cream called Mebo to put on it to help it heal. It smelled like marmite but did the job! I had to give myself more time to heal but things are fine now. Our sex life is a little different now (he doesn't have herpes and I want to keep it that way!) as we have to be more careful, but no pain, and he doesn't have to go easy on me! You can have a fun and fulfilling sex life again, but give yourself time. DrSuz is right, you might have to start gentle and work your way back up, both for the benefit of your body and your mind. I don't find that sex is a trigger for episodes. I started off having them every month, they always came a few days before my period. I tell you, just the thought of having a tampon inside me was scary after my first outbreak, let alone a cock! They are less frequent now. Haven't had one since November, I think. I apologise for the over-long post. I wanted to let you know that it is normal to be worried. It doesn't have to ruin your sex life unless you let it. Sex might trigger outbreaks for you, but it might not. And if it does, you'll learn to manage it, just like Katie. Love and hugs Xx
  2. Hey, I feel your pain: the first outbreak is a killer. After mine, I was asking the same questions as you. I had read around the subject and found that many women suffer from monthly outbreaks in the first year. I was on holiday from work when I first had an outbreak and was diagnosed (Happy New Year to me!) and was terrified of going through that pain again EVER, let alone possibly every month. I do, however, have some good news for you. While I have been unlucky enough to have been one of those once-a-month ladies, none of my subsequent bouts have been ANYTHING like that first one. In fact, often I haven't really been 100% sure if it has been an outbreak or just a random spot, so I have erred on the side of caution (read: paranoia!). My point is that most of the time, my outbreaks have been so mild as to have been negligible. Also, I too am very physically active and wear tight exercise clothes- I am a pole dance teacher, so not just tight but small too! Herpes does not need to get in the way of fitness. You may feel uncomfortable about it to start with, but it's more psychological than anything: will this make it worse, will it hurt, will that trigger it? I assure you that once you are past this first one, it will get easier and you can start regaining your confidence. You have an incredibly supportive partner - I'm not going to say you are lucky; I'm sure you've earned that relationship. To call it luck diminishes how much you probably deserve it. Treasure him, accept that you have a mildly inconvenient skin condition, get out there and grab life by the balls! Xxx
  3. Hey, I want to play too! I'm new to the site, have just collected my one year chip from the herpes owners' club and would love to have someone to chat to. I see that most of you are in the states. I'm In the Middle East, so if you want a real-time chat Europe is probably the closest buddy I'm going to get. More than happy to exchange emails/private messages, though, so location is not an issue to me. I'm female, 30, and still have a few questions but think I can offer support too. Pick me, pick me! ;)
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