Ifos2031

I've literally gone from the best week ever to feeling like my world has crashed. I apologise in advance for the moan but I need to let it out. I don't know what to do. Sex has been slightly painful for me from day one so when the pain seemed to intensify a few days ago, I didn't think much of it. I'm back with an ex partner (we got together during the first year of uni, split up during the second and have got back together for our final year having realised we are both willing to try again) and he has always been aware of and supportive of this pain. It was a bit gutting that I was in so much pain over my birthday and valentines that we accepted I was just having a bad stage, but when the pain was so intense he couldn't touch me, and even simple things like the toilet and a shower had me in tears, I knew I had to get to the doctors. Long story short, she took one look and told me it looked like herpes, and has given me a prescription for medication, but I have to go the GUM clinic on Tuesday to be tested and be sure. Spending hours on the internet has made me accept the fact that she is probably right, I seem to have every symptom going. I have told my boyfriend and he has been accepting so far and agreed to go on Tuesday as well, but sex has always been a big part of our relationship and I'm not sure how we will cope. I'm in so much pain at the moment, I can't sleep properly. I am yet to find comfort standing, sitting or lying. There is a constant throbbing pain, I'm getting shooting pains in my groin, stomach and lower back... I will never complain about period pains ever again! Luckily although I've felt a bit run down, I don't seem to have had the full flu-like effects and I'm hoping they won't appear either. I'm taking the medication so I can't help but hope I'm getting over the worst of the initial virus. I feel scared and alone... Due to issues in the past, I made sure both myself and my boyfriend had full STI checks before we slept together unprotected (these came back clear). Never have I been made aware that these 'full' checks aren't as 'full' as made out. The doctor told me there's no way of telling how I got it or how long its been there - while its likely I caught it from my boyfriend, I could have had it from any encounter and simply not had the symptoms. Reading all these posts and spending all night researching has made me feel better in some ways, but in others I've never felt so worried. How is this going to affect my life - both long term and short term?? I am training to be a teacher - stressful! - and typically stress in one cause of future OBs. I go to the gym regularly, I enjoy regular and sometimes not the most gentle sex experiences (if you get what I mean! :$ ) with my boyfriend, I enjoy going out drinking with my friends... I can't help but feel nothing is ever going to be the same again. I'm not normally the sort of person to throw a pity party for days/weeks/forever but I'm don't know how easy this will be to shake off. I'm not sure about worldwide, but here in the UK (this site was definitely the best and most helpful, friendly forum I came across) H is barely mentioned in school and sex ed. Noone ever tells you condoms potentially won't protect you from this virus. Apparently unless you specifically ask, not even the GUM clinic at the hospital routinely checks for it. Therefore I hadn't ever really considered it... my check ups have always come back clear, I thought I was pretty clued up on this type of thing, so I didn't need to worry as much. How stupid do I feel now :(