LondonCalling03

I may be late to the game if you've already left, or disclosed, but here's my thoughts. I would go and enjoy your time with your new friend. I would not disclose or sleep together until you're back from the trip. Maybe say, "things are still new with us and I'm just not ready to sleep with you. I'm enjoying my time with you and want to get to know you more". Do not put yourself in a situation where you may sleep together before you've disclosed. I have a strict "pants on" policy until I disclose. My pants stay on until I disclose. He can unbutton them and put his hands down there, but only with my pants still on. Do not drink a lot of alcohol if you think that will put you in a vulnerable situation. When you get back, have the talk. Say, "I really had a good time and I want to keep seeing you, but there was another reason why I wasn't ready to sleep with you during our trip...." good luck!

Hey all. I'm 30/F and I've been forever single. I dated the wrong guys for years and held on to these crappy relationships for too long. I opened myself up again to dating recently and I promised myself to do it differently. I promised myself I wouldn't allow myself to be treated like dirt. I would ask for what I wanted/needed and I would walk away if those needs weren't being met. I am a great catch. I have a great career, I'm out of debt, I work out, and I love exploring new places and doing new things. I met a guy a few months ago. Our first date was hands down the best first date I've ever had. He booked the second date before the first one was over. I usually wait a generous amount of time before sleeping with a guy/disclosing. With him, I ended up doing it on the 3rd date. It felt right. I wanted to. I wasn't prepared for it, but it wasn't my first talk so I did pretty good. He seemed okay enough with it. I take anti virals and I told him how much that helps lower the risk. I told him I've had it for years and I understand my body and known when I should abstain. I told him I've never passed it to anyone (to my knowledge) and that the goal was to never pass it on to him. He said, "So basically, there's a risk, but it's very minimal?" I said yes. We ended up having sex. Next day I sent him the link to the handout and told him to spend some time in this forum. He was sweet about it, said he really appreciated me telling him, etc. We went on a few more dates but things were moving slowly between us. It's summer time. I went on a vacation, he went away for work, I went away for work, he went back to his hometown for the 4th. It was difficult for us to find time to be together. We never really established what would be "normal" for us as far as communication, but about a month ago, I felt like he was never initiating conversation. It was always me and I didn't like it. He would, however, immediately respond when I texted him. I tried to let it go. We slept together again recently and a few days later he said he needed to go get checked. He said he'd felt weird since the first time we slept together but his symptoms did not sound like herpes at all. I was not worried even a little bit that he has herpes. I told him this. He did some googling and that made him feel better. He agreed that he should be fine. As far as I know, he didn't see a doctor. It would have been nice for a doctor to immediately tell him he didn't have herpes, but he also had no blisters or anything and it's too earlier for a blood test. Another week went by and we didn't spend time together. He has a busy job, I get it, but I was hoping I could see him this weekend. He said he was busy this weekend (he gave me more specifics, I'm trying to be discreet in the off chance he reads this, I told him about this forum when I disclosed). I promised myself I wouldn't stay in a relationship that wasn't working for me so I told him it was disappointing that we couldn't spend more time together. I asked him if work would be less busy in the coming months and it doesn't seem like it. I told him it seemed like I wanted more than he could give me. He said he was sorry about that and I said it was ok. That was that. I can't help but think it's the herpes. He's great, I know he liked me. We spent a lot of good time together. I found a good one, good on paper, chivalrous, cute, all around good guy. I didn't want this to end, but if someone wants to be with you, they'll make time, right? He wasn't making time. When I told him I had a problem with the lack of time together, he didn't offer a solution. I can't help but think it's the herpes. Now I'm 30 and single again with no prospects and I just feel down on myself. I've spent the weekend crying in bed. I know, I know. I'll get myself up tomorrow. I actually joined meetup and I'm going out with some social singles on Tuesday. But I miss him, and I could use some words of encouragement.

A lot of talk on here about Valtrex, but is acyclovir the same? I take acyclovir (it's the cheapest, my insurance won't even cover Valtrex). I take two 400mg pills a day as a suppressant to protect my partners. I saw my doctor in May and she said I should only take one since I'm using it for suppression. I just started dating someone new and I've never had problems in the past with OBs. I get them when I'm stressed, which isn't too often. I've kind of been on and off with the pills the past few months, honestly from laziness and forgetting to take them, but now that I'm in a new relationship, he understands that I am taking these pills to protect him. Any thoughts on me dropping my dosage?

Hello everyone! I wanted to share my most recent success story! A little about me...I'm 30 years old and I've had HSV2 for 8 years. This was the 6th person I've told. 2 of the 6 said no and thank god for that...they weren't the right ones for me. I met a guy several months ago and it's been wonderful getting to know each other. I told him I'm not prude by any means, but I wanted to take things slow and wait awhile before we slept together. He said that was fine. He said he "respected the hell out of me" for it and I was worth the wait. Well after a long week of reading tips on this forum and my heart POUNDING out of my chest any time I thought about having the talk with him (it never gets easier, sorry to say that), I finally did it. We were hanging out watching a movie. I had told him earlier in the day that I had a story for him so I finally sat up, looked at him and began...."Several years ago, I found out that I carry the virus for herpes. Lots of people have it and it's really not even a big deal". I had rehearsed it so many times in my head and I can't even remember exactly what I said. I know I didn't say everything I wanted to say, but I told him some stats. I told him there's a 4% transmission rate which can be lowered by using condoms and lowered even further by anti virals, which I planned to take. I told him I'd been with a few guys since my diagnosis and I've never given it to anyone. I told him since I've had it for awhile, I know my body and I know how to keep him safe. He got that look on his face, the same one everyone gets, "holy crap, the girl I'm seeing is telling me she has an uncurable STD", but then it went away and he said he was fine with it. Not too long later in our conversation he goes, "You got the herp, huh?" and we both had a laugh. I'm happy. I wanted to reiterate some advice that's been on this site about having the talk. The biggest factor, I believe, is being calm. Your partner will react the way you are acting. I stayed calm and explained to him what I had and what that meant for us. Even though my heart was pounding, I didn't let him know I was that nervous (although I'm sure he knew a little bit). I didn't say things like "it's cool if you leave. I'll understand". I said "I need you to find a way to be okay with this because I want you in my life. I need you to understand that this is not as bad as you may think it is". Someone on here said to not say STD, or disease. That's why I began with "I carry the virus for herpes", as opposed to "I have an uncurable disease and that's highly contagious". The last guy I told, didn't handle it well. I didn't deliver the message well and I blame myself for that. At the end of the day he didn't want to take the risk and honestly, he was a good on paper guy, but not the guy for me. As I've said, it never gets easier but after the talk was over, I felt amazing. When I was in high school, my neighbor helped me audition for the school play. He told me, "the role is already yours, now go get it". So I tell myself, "he's going to be okay with it, I just have to talk about it first". If you go in knowing he or she will be okay with it, they will. Good luck everyone!