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genussbutterfly

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Everything posted by genussbutterfly

  1. Thank you so much Katie. That is mainly my issue I give all the love and great advice and help others but I just can't seem to do it for myself. Lots of love Vanessa
  2. You know, for the past 2 days I have been feeling down about being diagnosed with (h) and knowing that I can't cure it completely. It does suck and sometimes I find myself reading posts based on the stigma of herpes and the thing is, it doesn't even get me down, it just makes me realise that I am starting to feel the way I did before, feeling like im a health risk to any man that wishes to be with me, im a walking STD and ive just ruined my life, but what I have come to realise is people who don't live with herpes will never know what it's like to have the diagnosis and the disclosure and possibly but rarely the rejection. People just follow crowds and yes it would be fantastic if all people with herpes could be herpes free but its just not going to happen, well not as far as we know. Tbh I have realised from speaking to my friend that I couldv'e been in an even worse situation. My friend always says to me "your human, you make mistakes, you can't blame yourself or hate yourself for it" and I realise thats true because if i keep living that way im never going to be happy. People that are very close to me who know about my diagnosis have just told me "don't beat yourself up, its reality", which sucks but is very true. I think I'm definitely still struggling to come to terms with the fact that I have this skin condition that is going to stay with me for the rest of my life and thats what kills me the most + im so young aswell, but what I have come to realise is life is not easy, everyone has rough patches in there life and you can't think that everyone is completely happy. God doesn't put you in situations you can't handle and tbh that is very true but it is also a lesson learnt. The college I go to have offered me counselling sessions, which she will try and help me see herpes in a different light because atm all the stigma is running through my head and also the fact that if I didn't have anything I would be fine and happy and its just upsetting me and tbh I don't want to live like this. You know sometimes I just want to do myself the favour and end my life for myself but then I think about the people I have and how much life I have ahead of me, and tbh a simple skin condition is not worth your life, or is it.
  3. I completely get the point now. Doctors/Pharmica are not bothered about curing people with herpes because, if it's not killing us or causing serious health problems it ok for us to live with a chronical infection for the rest of our lives. Ok over time herpes suffers will get over that lame excuse but until then, I have been told and heard many people say that doing research on purchasing natural remedies to lower the amount of outbreaks, severity ect... but now people who have herpes are telling me about these three so called amazing ingredients "hypericum mysorense and nosodes" that they used and they haven't had OB for years and have even had unprotected sex with there uninfected partners and no signs have been seen in partners. Also I just wanted to know that these ingredients are they possible to buy in health shops, over the counter or is it just an internet purchase because I somehow am not to confident with those stuff over the internet... People who not what I am talking about or have tried it could you please give me some tips and advice please. Much appreciated - Vanessa
  4. Can you look for those ingredients in health shops or can you only buy it online?
  5. Wendygeorge, can i look for that in health shops?. I live in the UK also. I looked online and it seems like I can only buy it off of a website...
  6. Thanks. I mean tbh i have a healthy lifestyle and stuff so my OB are never severe and they only last like 2-5 days, most OB ive had so far lasted 3 days and tbh Adrial is right. It is only necassary to take the tablets unless im in a relationship with someone who doesn't have h. Thats a good idea though to take them when you feel prodromal symptoms coming, never thought of that :) Thanks StephanieWS
  7. Ever since I found out I had herpes, after my initial outbreak I know how my body worked, what would set off my outbreaks and what my prodrome symptoms are. I usually start to get a shooting pain down my back/neck when my outbreak is coming and the same place of my genitals always itches even if teh cold sore does not arise there (this usually happens when I'm under stress and the stress is me crying continuouslly). And if i remember right I have probably had 2 outbreaks about 2 days after Ive been full on crying non-stop. My last outbreak was just at the end if February. I'm not sure if im having another outbreak because I have a spot on my genitals and it was bleeding (confused). It doesn't itch or burn. I don't even know whether I'm having an outbreak or its just little spots because I did used to get random spots on my vagina way before I became sexually active, more when I started puberty. Would anyone be able to help???
  8. Thank you so much Katie. I didn't actually cry, listening to music calms me down and completely makes me stop thinking about everything.
  9. I feel the need to cry again. For some reason I pictured me not having herpes and having a great loving bf, then I look at the fact that I have herpes and I don't have a bf & feel like crying. I just wish I had never made that silly mistake to have unprotected sex with the person I was seeing, I sometimes wish I never met him, but I believe its my fault things didn't work out and why I got herpes as well.....
  10. Thank you very much for your answers. I think personally I knew the answer all along, I just thought that maybe there was some hope of getting out it. And your right honesty is the key. :)
  11. Yh i think its best to go with my integrity. Follow my heart and I never really listened to my mum and my friends advice. Thats why I always got hurt. Yes I am English :)
  12. Totally agree Janice. There's nothing wrong with herpes, the name is just not nice for the rare skin condition, it does sound horrible but as people who have it we know that isn't the case. Vanessa :)
  13. This morning this question kept popping into my head and it is starting to play with my mind. I know many of us have been at a point in a relationship where we have to disclose to our partners but after discussing this with my mum and my mums friend who has been in a similar situation to me when he was a lot younger keep telling me not to tell my partners about having herpes because I don't need to and as long as I use a condom there is no need to tell. Part of me is telling me that yes my mum and her friend are right, I should be protecting myself and the other person by using condoms and if I take my tablets during this time it could lower the risk of me transmitting it but what if the person im with then gets it... thats a whole entirely new situation. The other part of me is saying stick to your guns and tell partners because its about honesty and If you can't be honest with someone your with then its not really going to be the best relationship if your going to hide things from each other but then I feel that does this person really need to know this because as long as im safe and he is what are the chances f me passing it on 0-4%. Im not in a relationship with anyone atm but im kind of scared to be in a relationship now, but I will not let fear drive me away from a part of life. Please could I have as many people comment as posible. I just want some opinions and advice to kind of make me thik correctly and lead me in the right direction. Thanks
  14. Hey. I have been reading some posts about unsuccessful disclosure between people. I haven't been in that situation but I can just tell from reading the posts it must suck to be in that situation and its going to happen but you have to be strong and realise that person was not for you and it doesn't define you, it defines them. I just want to tell people your life is the exact same it was before you had herpes. Everything stays the same the only thing that is different is that if you become intimate with someone you will have to diclose wheras people that don't have herpes don't have to do that. What small difference is that? I totally agree it would be nice if we didn't have (h) so we don't have to disclose but hey its life.
  15. Thank you Katie. I try to inspire myself as wellas others and im glad you requoted my quote. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Vanessa
  16. You know something. I don't think I have ever felt so happy and positive now since I was like 14/15. I am ever so grateful for finding this website because If i didn't I think I would still be weeping feeling sorry for myself, not to say you can't do that but there is no need to. Once I started to see inspiring comments on here and people taking the the time to read what I had to say it made me realise that I have absolutely nothing to worry about and having herpes will only become a big deal if you make it a big deal. Tbh overtime I have learnt to take the time out to go and ask questions about my rare skin condition, to find out the answers to my questions and the nitty gritty and the silly misconceptions mostly of oral herpes, because I have seem to find that not alot of people have come across the herpes type 2 as of they do type , but that doesn't mean to say their is no stigma behind it. I can tell you the answer as to why people are devastated when they have been diagnosed with herpes. Its because the stigma behind it is so stupid, you know you hear things like her or she sucks this, she/he is a whore or he/she is dirty. STOP RIGHT THERE it does not make you dirty because you have herpes what it does mean is that you are an ordinary person who had sex with another ordinary person and unfortunatly there was a little STI hiding behind the having sex and you didn't know that and thats OK. Its part of reality and life is about going through pain, coming out stronger and better and then being happy. I mean as a young adult I don't know if you would see those certain kids in your college laughing at unserious STI'S you could get and the herpes one seemed to be so funny to them, funny thing what you don't know about them is the ones laughing at herpes are covering up their own insecurities because they probably caught something worse, but because its them its OK. I believe people like that are people you should stay away from and they are not people you call friends or even want to associate yourself with. They would make you feel terrible and make you join in with the stigma. I believe once your diagnosed with HSV-1 OR HSV-2 that is a time to sit down cry, laugh and think of the memories before you had this and think to yourself now that I have herpes what will change for me? You know what will change, NOTHING if you have the belief, positivity and love yourself your in for a treat because soon Herpes will be a thing of the past for you and you can live your life being happy. One thing I say. DON'T OVERTHINK AND DON'T KEEP PLANNING YOUR DAYS AHEAD. TAKE LIFE AS IT COMES. When you take life as it comes unexpected things happen that will turn your frown upside down. TBH the whole issue with herpes is trying to get yourself back to normal. You will not be the same person you was before. You will be even better and that to me is all I can ask for and you know something I feel so positive and happy its ridiculous. Accept it and please be happy. This is just the starting of something new. Accept it and enjoy it. Thanks.
  17. Just reading these comments are inspring me so much and making me feel even better about the situation. I always say some people have to go through pain to change their ways, some people have happiness. This doesn't neccassarily mean you were a bad person before it just means that you didn't give yourself enough credit, you weren't the real you and you know I believe in God so I believe God thought that only something like this could get you to understand that you are better than what you were before and when you can start excepting that you will be happier than ever.
  18. I was just scrolling through my news feed on Facebook and I come across this post about pressing the like button for liking gravy, jawbreakers and then buttered toast then an ironic picture of oral herpes pops up and it says ontop of the picture ignore for "herpes". That got me so angry like you know nothing about this skin conditon so don't judge it. You are just like the rest of the population who don't have HSV-1/2, you are involved in the stigma behind herpes and think its OK to broadcast over social networking sites, like someone isn't going to come across that and be offeneded. I just chose to be the bigger person and not even acknowledge the fact I saw that and just carry on scrolling.
  19. True. I think I need to learn to love myself.... something I will work on overtime
  20. Thank you so much. Adrial my issue is I care about other people before myself and tbh I shouldn't really cry because its my own fault. I could of avoided my own hurt but i didn't.
  21. Can anyone please just comment and make me feel better. I feel like crap atm
  22. I lost my virginity to an older guy and I still love him so much but he doesnt like me and he doesnt love me. I told him today that its time for me to let go now. I feel so hurt and lonely and I just don't feel worth it anymore. I just feel like guys don't want me and I try so hard and I can't do it anymore. I just want to be alone now. I've been hurt so many times and I can't take it anymore.
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