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Omg2015

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Everything posted by Omg2015

  1. @hippyherpy and @optimist thank you for your comments. I'm actually 45 and twice divorced (last one was very abusive) so I think I'm "healing" from several things. I am grateful for no longer feeling like I'm defined by my looks or sexuality anymore. I do look at life much differently, and I would like to believe much healthier. I also just found out that the girlfriend who allowed me to stay with her during my divorce also has hsv. I understand this is "only" a virus that more of the population have than is realized or accepted. I'm just hoping the shame and embarrassment will lessen with time. I'm a part of a narcissist abuse forum on FB, which really helped me. I wish there was a real time interaction forum for this....
  2. I've been thinking that I'm not really sure I will ever feel "okay" enough to date. I'm not a judgemental person at all, but I've been in some toxic situations that have caused me to 2nd guess how others will act with/without tact/integrity. I was always very passionate about sexual activity, as long as I had an intimate monogamous relationship. Can't say I was always 100% safe, but I never had any stds. after a bad 13 year marriage I divorced my ex and have since found out he was cheating on me with someone who has HSV. I myself was "diagnosed" in the ER thinking I had a severe reaction to monistat (although they could not tell me what type) after 8 months of our divorce being final....and I had been in a new four month relationship with someone else I came to realize was another bad decision. I'm really not sure from which situation I got this, but regardless of the statics, I just don't "feel" like I'm worthy of trying to engage in dating again because I still don't feel normal. It's been a year and I'm still trying to figure out all the signs/symptoms. From what I've read I think I'm pretty average. Increasing various supplements (thanks in large part to this forum) has helped keep the majority of issues at bay....just wish I could stop feeling so ashamed, like I should condem myself to celibacy. I know it's silly, but I thought it might be a good first step to actually "say it" outside my own head.
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