M411235

19! I'm 30 now, and I am pleased to announce that I survived, what at 19 I thought was going to kill me. It gets better :-) just remain positive and honest, anyone who you disclose too will appreciate honesty above all, I know my man did :-) Megan

Yes I have. When I'm on my meds I have more "problems" down there than when I am off meds. Not actual outbreaks but more like overall irritation. At my next doctors appointment I'm asking to switch brands to see if it is a type of reaction I am having.

A history: So I have had herpes type 2 genital for over ten years, I finally met a man who excepted me for who I am and love me no matter what. I was straight forward fro day one and he told me how thankful he was that I told him because most girls he knew would not. Since that day our sex life has been amazing, but he did eventually get herpes from me (we use condoms 70% of the time, but not always) He does not care, because he loves me, but it has been rough on me knowing I passed it to him. Even before he contracted h from me we both gave each other oral on a regular basis and neither of us have ever shown any signs of h orally. He has given me oral a lot and has not gotten h on his mouth. I know h type one is easily transferable gential to mouth and vise versa. I know herpes type 2 typically stays in the genital area (I've seen the video on this sight) but was wondering if anyone has any experience with transferring it (h type 2) genital to mouth, guy to girl and girl to guy? Or if you and your partner have had success and it it true that h type 2 does not like they mouth? Obviously we would not do anything if either of us were showing symptoms.

In the above post I mentioned "giving up" which is not what I should have said. I will not give up and I will get through this just like I do with every other difficult situation life gives me. I do have many questions though, the biggest one being: if have the hpv strain that causes warts to appear is that the only strain that can be pasted to my boyfriend? Or can I give him the cancer strain? When I tell him tonight and if he is ok with it like he was with herpes knowing he might get warts that can be removed. But I don't think I could live with knowing that I could cause cancer in him. Does anyone know the answer to this? Any

So I have had a small growth of skin on the outside of my vagina for over a year now it looks like a skin tag, did not itch or hurt. and it has been seen by a few doctors who never said anything about it. Later in the month I am going to see my long distance boyfriend and hopefully have sex for the first time (he knows I have herpes hsv2). I went to the doctor to have the growth removed because it was hard to shave around she sent it to get biopsied, and called me today and said the test came back and said " it is most likely HPV" the test did not comeback 100% conclusive but most likely. I am having a hard time dealing with this and have been crying all day. I have not told my boyfriend yet because he is at work i will tell him tonight and see what happened. I need help and advice. For the first time in a very long time I feel alone and like giving up. Megan

There is no better teacher than experience. Your hope has to remain greater than the pain.

I agree we should not look at dating with H any differently than we did without it (beside the disclosing and honesty of course). We still need to look for characteristics in our potential partners that will help us become better people and make us shine not hold us down and belittle us. And the first couple dates and weeks are the perfect time for all those things to be put on the table, the "getting to know you" stage of a relationship is a time that can make or break a potential relationship I take them very seriously. Your right it is a mindset and a respectful connection, no you do not have to have the same opinions as your boyfriend, but you guys do have to respect the fact that you think differently. I know my boyfriend and I have very different opinions on a certain subject and we both know that we don't have to understand the others opinion but we do have to respect it. Being in a relationship doesn't mean becoming the other person.

I have had H for over ten years. I don't always get flu shots but some years I do. I have never had a bad reaction when getting the shot. If your doctor recommends it I say go for it, as long as your doc knows you have herpes I don't think they would recommend you get the shot knowing you would have a bad reaction, and of course the pros of getting the shot would probably out weigh the bad reaction anyhow. I do not usually get the flu (wether I get the shot or not) but I guess that depends on you and your history with winters and getting the flu. I am clearly not a doctor but in my experience having H and getting a flu shot I have never had any type of reaction. Best of luck!! Megan

Thanks greeneyes!! I think he really loves me too! And your right he had plenty of time to back out of this relationship since it is long distance it would be so easy to stop answering the phone when I told him but for 9 months he still answers :) Disclosures are hard but they empower us to respect our bodies (which I know I didn't before) and to practice honesty and integrity and protect our partners. It's been my experience when disclosing that I am the only who thinks its a big deal. Most educated people know the facts and know it's really not as serious as society makes it out to be. Unfortunately there will always be those out there that only know the stigma that comes along with it. Keep your head up and keep looking for love soon you'll find a man who will love you so much and something as small as H will not matter, he will respect you even more for your honesty. I'll let you know what happens :)

I have had herpes for years and years and in an effort to know my body better and not spread it to my boyfriend I have a few questions about Prodrome Symptoms in women. I got herpes when I was 19, so in my opinion I was very young, un-educated and extremely irresponsible. I never cared about "knowing my body" I just told my partners, insisted on condoms, and avoided sex with an outbreak. Now I am 29 and starting to want to understand my body and what it is telling me. I have read the handouts on this forum about the symptoms, I know it says burning, itching, and tingling are signs that an outbreak or shedding might be coming. But I am so paranoid that sometimes even razor burn or irritation when shaving down there can send my mind racing into thinking it's shedding or becoming an outbreak. I know I'm being silly but with getting older and beginning a more serious relationship and wanting a family I think I owe it to myself, my boyfriend and future babies to get to know what's happening with my body. I would love any advice on your experience with Prodrome symptoms... How did you pinpoint them to what they are? when, where, what sensations, did something usually trigger them, same time every year? Every month? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks :)

For some reason I am unable to view any of the Doctors videos????

So here's and update.... 10 months later and this is still a long distance relationship, we have not seen each other due to me deciding to up and move back to Massachusetts and get a new job and start my life over up here. The relationship is still going strong but the plans to see each other have been put off. The talks we have are getting more frequent and more romantic. As I said before when I disclosed to him he was kind of like "ok, it's cool we'll talk about it later". Recently ( 9 months after telling him) he has started asking more questions and I am answering him to the best of my ability telling him info from this forum and info I have gotten from my doctor. (I have had gentital herpes for 10 years and recently went to the doctor to find out which type so I could know the shedding precent of time and found out I have hsv-2 which apparently sheds more but as I read on this forum it's almost impossible for me to give it to him through oral which makes me happy because we are both really into oral and the thought of using a dental dam during it makes me uneasy) One day after my doctors visit I called him and was telling him some info and he kind of stopped talking and I got nervous and said " well baby your not saying anything and I understand if you don't want to be with me, what are you thinking?" And he said "I'm thinking about how much I love you and how I can't wait to get you in this bed" :) after this I realized he is just asking questions to better understand this condition not because he's questioning our relationship or his love for me. So!!!!I have officially bought a flight out to see him on the 27th!! I am so excited and can not wait!! But am also scared to death. 99% percent of me knows everything will be fine but 1% of me is scared once I get in bed with him he won't want me. It's probably all in my mind, I am naturally an insecure person and physical contact is comforting to me so being in a long distance relationship where there is not physical contact yet has been extremely difficult. Like I sated before we talk more now than we ever did before and the conversations are getting more serious like talking about him moving to MA and us having a future together. I feel like my trip out there at the end of the month will be the determining factor of which way this relationship goes. It's been a long few months and I just hope that once I am there he will still accept me and my condition and love me and want me anyways. Anyways, I will keep you guys posted on how everything goes!! P.S. Thank god for this forum and all the stories and experiences written here. Over ten years with herpes and I am finally startng to understand it and love myself again.

Was at the doctors today and asked about a canker sore, she assured me that a canker sore is NOT herpes :) I had the same concern as you.

We all know what a herpes outbreak feels like, but does viral shedding feel like anything or no?

Thank you!! One quick question?? Is the risk 0% if a c-section is chosen? Can it be passed to the baby thru the womb or blood? Or just the vaginal canal and genitals?

Ok so I have genital herpes and my boyfriend does not. He knows I have it and is ok with it, honesty, condoms, valtrex and we are good to go. Tonight we were talking about the future (way in the future) and he brought up having kids. I think of having kids all the time but have never thought that it may be different since I have herpes. Can I safely have healthy babies? I need advice from some couples who have successfully gotten pregnant with the lady having herpes. Did you pass it to your partner? To the baby? I'm clueless. Please any and all advice welcomed :)

Thanks ladies!! Disclosing last night was absolutely terrifying but I have to say I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders I now can enjoy my relationship knowing I have no secrets or skeletons in my closet anymore. And I feel like he knows now that I have complete trust in him because I entrusted him with such a personal piece of information about myself. We talked and texted multiple times today and the vibe was good and strong :) as usual. I am hopeful for the future with him but still a little nervous that he may change his mind and find someone else seeing as we are so far away from each other. But I am just going to take it day by day and pray for the best. I will keep you all informed of how the relationship progresses and what happens when we are finally in the same zip code :) Lelani thanks for sharing your experience with me!! Anyone else have any experiences with long distance relationships and disclosures??

I was 20 and in college when found out! And thats exactly how I felt. I'm 28 now and some of my friends are still sleeping around and Im not. They all wonder why I don't sleep around or have one night stands like they have. It sets me apart from them. It always has but I now look at it in a good way. I have morals now and get to know a guy on a deeper personal level before having sex and in turn over the years have gained a respect for myself and my body that I never had before. I hope you eventually feel the same and never stop having fun. I have more fun now at 28 than I ever had at 18 and know it will only get better :)!

Short background story: I am 28 now and when I was 20 I found out I had H, I have no idea who gave it to me or when I got it I just had an awful outbreak which sent me to the doctors where I was diagnosed with by and exam and blood test. Since then I have had very few outbreaks, I take the meds when in a relationship and to my knowledge have never passed it to a partner. When first diagnosed I was depressed and very emotional about it but as I get older I am becoming more "ok" with it. However there are still days when I am ashamed. Disclosing: Over the years I have told many partners about it and the result was always the same: they just did not care, acted as if it was no big deal at all. Some I did use condoms with and some I did not. I have not had a outbreak in years. so it really does not effect my life much. Like I said before to my knowledge I did not pass it on to anyone else. These past relationships have been fun but nothing overly serious and definitely no life long love and if discovering that I had herpes would have sent any of these guys guys running for the hills I would not have been too upset. Until now...... I have a new man in my life. A former friend and coworker recently moved out of town for a few months and since the day he left we have been texting and talking and getting pretty romantic. We have both shared our mutual love for each other and talk about how we wish we could have known we would hit it off when he was still in town. Since I rarely ever outbreaks and haven't had one for years the only time I ever think about herpes is when I am about to start a new relationship which will lead to sexual activity. Since this guy is out of town there hasn't been anything physical although sex has been discussed. A few days ago it dawned on my "oh crap!" He is going to eventually come home and I will have to tell him. It's been a month and a half since he left and I all completely 100% head over heels in love with this guy. And he feels the same for me. Earlier today I was sick to my stomach with the thought of having this conversation with him over the phone tonight. I love him and actually care if he leaves me, unlike all the other times I am afraid to lose him. I told him just a few hours ago. I said with a shaking voice and sniffling back tears "There is something I really need to tell you, I want to be honest and truthful with you and I hope this doesn't change your opinion of me but 8 years ago I found out I have herpes, I rarely ever get outbreaks and take a daily dose of medicine which helps symptoms stay at bay and helps to prevent spreading it to others. I thought you should know this before you come home and things get more serious or physical" and he said "I love you and thanks for telling me and let's talk more about it when we can be together to talk face to face and maybe go to the doctors and figure out what we need to do to make this thing work." We talked about it a little more like the stats on woman to man transferring and some other thing but then he kind of just changed the subject we talked about the usual stuff for a while he told me he loved me and that he would call me in the morning. He definitely acted like it did not scare him off. I feel like it went well but part of me is a bit scared that I won't get that call in the morning. I am trying to stay positive and think that if he was not ok with it he would have said something and that he just didn't want to talk about it because we are so far away from each other and didn't want to have an important convo like this via phone. I am happy I told him but wished it could have been face to face so I could gauge his facial expressions and mood, but I did not want to carry on this long distance relationship and have things get more serious and make plans with him and months down the road hit him with the "I have herpes" bomb and have him say " why didn't you tell me earlier????" Anyways I am nervous about the next few days and what they bring for my relationship but I do know that if he truly loves me we will be able to get over this minor hurdle and have a beautiful relationship together provided we both remain completely honest with each other. Sorry this was so long but I need to get this off my chest and talk to people who have had similar experiences, I believe that there is no greater than experience and I would like to hear yours...