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Mikarose

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Everything posted by Mikarose

  1. Just want to thank everyone for the replies. I read them back when I initially posted this and was too anxious to form a response haha. I often feel ok about the whole thing and in times like that I do my best to ignore anything that reminds me! I have booked a (very expensive!!) session with a lady who is supposed to be experienced in exactly my issues and many more so I'm hopeful it will be useful!!
  2. I've had HSV2 for 6 months now after an unwanted encounter with someone I didn't know Throughout the 6 months its been some of the worst times of my life and I often am so exhausted of this I just want it to end.. but I used to still want to try and be happy and all 'yeah its an opportunity! I can live my life! I am great! This won't stop me!' That mindset has now disappeared and whether it is the incident in which I got the herpes, the herpes itself or just the whole situation.. but its really wearing me down to the point where I have almost no motivation to keep trying to be happy? It just seems pointless?? My parents want me to see someone about it and I somewhat agree as I'm kind of losing it :D. But I'm scared. Maybe a psychologist will judge me, say it was my own fault, just think I'm yuck, or tell me to get over it and think I'm wasting their time! I also don't feel like retelling the story of how it happened. Is it even the kind of thing you tell these sorts of people? Or is it too much information because they aren't that kind of Doctor and they'll just be thinking 'great now I have to spray the chair with bleach once you leave'? Do you just say you have a problem and ask for some coping mechanisms for the mental/emotional side of it? Has anyone gone to a psychiatrist/psychologist/someone for this and has it helped? Is it worth it?
  3. I get what you mean about them feeling invincible. Not sure if my boyfriend is thinking the same but we recently have had a scare (we arent 100% sure if hes in the clear just yet). As soon as I told him I think I'm getting an outbreak (I haven't had one since my first which was before i met him) he went to the chemist got the strong dose of anti viral pills they give for cold sores, asked for some of my pills and although he says hes OK about it - it doesnt seem it to me and he keeps checking himself. I am just as worried for him though. I guess all you can do is ask him and tell you how it makes you feel. I had that same thought of 'why do I want to date someone who is scared of me or grossed out by me' I have talked to my boyfriend about it and he said that although he has made the decision to take the risk when we started dating, its not like he *wants* to get it and it would still be crappy if he did. It's like when your loved one has a cold and you take care of them - doesn't mean you want their cold.. not the best comparison but maybe its similar!
  4. How long have you known him or been together for? I've known my boyfriend a month and he is accepting the risk even though it's actually been a fear for him in life from a previous relationship who got cold sores (as in mouth). It confuses me too and worries me as I honestly don't know if I would be that relaxed with it. I figure they do care about getting it but they care about the relationship more. I'm sure you (and I) will get used to it and not be as worried.
  5. TMI but are you using quality lube? As in not the fancy flavoured kind? Even if you don't need it - I also have sensitive skin and I find that helps a lot. I even use a thrush cream every so often just in case! I say this as maybe you'd feel more relaxed if you had less annoyances down there to be concerned with. It sounds like he likes you too much to be bothered and you just have to trust what he's saying. It doesn't sound like he will make you feel guilty about it if he gets it. He will probably just say well thats annoying
  6. I think it's almost unfair for him to say it would be a big negative for both of you if he was to get it yet he's not really helping the situation by suggesting no condoms! I mean it would be easier for you in the long run if he got it so you wouldn't have to worry hah. I'm in a similar position, I'm in a new relationship with someone who doesn't have it and obviously doesn't want it and I reallllly don't want to give it to him!! I find it difficult not to ask him 'sooo do you feel anything different' and analyse his dick for signs of it!! I have told him to please do whatever he feels is needed to prevent himself getting it and not to worry about offending me. Have you had an outbreak whilst on antivirals? I'm not sure about that last part but I would avoid sex altogether if I had an outbreak, just to be on the safer side.
  7. @hippyherpy ..totally not the point of my post but interesting nonetheless!! I don't really think it's nice behaviour to use my looks to coerce a guy into being ok with herpes especially whilst in the heat of the moment :P And in my particular situation id say my appearance got him interested but ultimately i kind of doubt he would take the risk if we didn't have a connection beyond physical
  8. Another update - we are officially a couple and our sex life is aaaaamazing!! I couldn't have imagined it would be like this. He NEVER makes me feel awkward or gross or undesirable. A month ago I thought everything was over for me - especially the sex/relationship aspects of life.. I would read 'success' stories on the internet and think 'either this is bullshit or the guy must be a weirdo' ... not the case here! The guy I'm with is smart, funny, caring aaand insanely attractive. He is one in a million and I am ridiculously lucky to have found him regardless of the h problem.. or not such a problem now. I'm still afraid and wary that I will give it to him but I'm being extremely careful not to. I'm making a point of not becoming complacent by staying on the meds and keeping healthy and aware of myself. To anyone that reads this that is feeling crappy, just know that when you meet the right person H won't matter :)
  9. Thank you for the responses. Thought I might just update this - I am still seeing the guy and managed to have the discussion recently. He has been absolutely amazing about it so far. Nothing too physical has happened yet but he hasn't ruled it out and still wants to see where this will go :)! Perhaps there is hope for me after all !
  10. Thanks for your response I know what you mean about romanticising it.. I probably am doing that. I've had a few more discussions with him now and Im pretty confident he will not be okay with it at all, which sucks as every other aspect is perfect so far. I am taking daily meds for suppression and have had no further symptoms which is almost annoying as physically I feel like the same girl as before. He actually mentioned cold sores without me bringing it up as he had apparently had a girlfriend who had face cold sores who had to take the tablets. He sounded like he was quite paranoid about them. I should probably just stop seeing him before I become too invested. As for the way in which I got this - I am handling it, not seeing a therapist anymore as it's quite exhausting to talk about and I tend to just try not to think about it.
  11. Hi all. I have had hsv2 for about a month. I received this due to being assaulted. I am dealing with it. Had outbreak, now on suppressive meds. Coincidentally I have met a guy in the last week or so who is absolutely amazing. I haven't told him yet, of course as we have only had a few dates. I feel like everything I've read about herpes so far is clouding my judgement and I worry it's making me think it's less of a deal than it is... So looking for opinions: 1. Is it too soon for me to consider dating someone? I only went on the date to get out of the house yet then he turned out to be possibly the best guy I've ever met. 2. He is a seemingly normal, very attractive, educated guy - what are the odds he will be fine with this??? Is it only weirdos or older guys who will say this is fine? He's 26 3. Is there anything I can ask him.. Like a test question.. To gauge how he would handle it? 4. I'm afraid of if/when he tries to make a move - in my 'previous life' I was a little shy of all that and would have said 'it's too soon' regardless because I liked to be clearly exclusive prior to sex. Is it now lying if I just say 'too soon' now as like yes it's too soon but also impossible? 5. A bit tmi sorry: how much 'touching' can I allow before its crossing the transmission line? Obviously nothing 'direct' but through clothes? Ass grabbing? Or IS normal touching ok or not really in case he then somehow touches himself?? So confused as I dont even go near myself as it now freaks me out. 6. No idea how to tell when the right time to tell him, or anyone if this one doesn't work out. I suppose there is no answer to this one. I have read the disclosure book and this has reassured me but maybe too much!? Thank you
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