Scared16

I was recently entertaining my friends child .... took her swimming in a private pool and took her swimming to a lake ... her mom told me today she has a bump on outside of her vagina that feels like a mosquito bite when touched ... nothing else ... I know that if someone asked me that question, I would say NO way !!! But I'm a bit anxious... spend all day on Google and found one article from 83?and another from 2017 that indicate that herpes can survive in water ... my issue is privite pools and lake have little / no chlorine ... most of my reading material said you can bathe with your kids ... I'm still terrified ... btw, I have hsv2 with no symptoms ... Anybody have any more insight?

Even if you had full panel of STIs done, that doesn't mean anything. Herpes is not included in those. Herpes is considered as a mild skin infection for the medical community. Your first outbreak is typically the worst. You don't have stigma attached to oral hsv1 (as it is for those that have genital herpes). Almost everyone has it. You will be ok :-).

I would not call your partner "terrible" for giving you oral hsv1. Nobody discloses it and most adults have it. Most get it as kids from a family member. So if you have oral hsv1 now you are amongst majority of the population. Very possible you had it before.

I personalny think, if you do not see him as a potential partner ... let it go ... You can not take back the night. chances are you did not infect him, so why cause him anxiety? If he develops symptoms, he will reach out to you and get tested and you will deal with it than. If you are planning on sleeping with him again, than you should disclose.

I will vent a little too :-). It is not people that have herpes that have to disclose ... But people that were diagnosed ... Which is not many ... Where I live, doctors discourage people from doing blood tests, misinform them that blood testing is not accurate ... So if you are asymtomatic you are encouraged to do as you please ... When I was being tested I was advised to find myself a partner that is hsv+ If my swab comes back positive ... The person that gave it to me is asymtomatic. He did not receive a blood test after going in 3 times to get tested, was told to come once he has symptoms so it can be swabbed (which he doesn't get), and in the mean time live his life to the fullest.

I would try ... There is crappy psychologists out there and good ones too. Maybe you need some sort of trauma recovery sessions to find yourself. Psychologists don't have the answers for you, they listen and guide you, they encourage you and help you pick yourself up, but eventually it is your work to accept yourself and love yourself ... I think that the talking is great to, because you get to hear yourself ... Somehow you end up sharing more in there than you would with your best friend ... But it has to be a good psychologist that you click with ... And no, nobody will wipe the chair when you leave silly :-) ... This is just in your head :-). I personally think yeast infection and BV are way grosser than an H OB. For most people H is nothing, it is just that there is no cure. You are still wonderful and you are the same person you were before. You just need a little bit of help in realizing that and loving yourself as much or even more than before :-).

You have nothing to worry about :-). I am not sure about the location of your herpes (if this is what you have), as you mentioned both lips and genitals. You cannot give genital herpes to your kids. As for cold sores on your mouth, most people have hsv1, don't kiss them if you have a cold sore or feel any itching on your mouth. Herpes is not part of a regular std testing, so it is possible that both or one of you had it genitally. Although the most likely scenerio would be your husband gave it to you through oral sex. Wait for your results, if you have hsv1 than it might be recent and through oral sex. If it is hsv2 than one of you had it before. You can also do an IGG test to see if you have antibodies yet (if you don't, the infection is recent). As for the stereo typing ... Most of us don't fit the type :-). Some got it from partners that didn't know they had it, some trusted partners that were not honest and didn't disclose ... Herpes does not choose ... Nothing to be ashamed of ... Herpes is a virus with a highly stigmatized name ... Getting viruses is part of being human so if you are human you fit the type ...

I was feeling the tingle all the time before, like everyday. I am not sure if is was psychological, some nerve damage from the first OB or an actual predrome. It stopped after I put helichrysum essential oil in a diffuser and sat over it. I did it 3x and the tingles went away. I have not felt one in weeks. But I am not sure if this actually fixed the nerve damage (if that was it) or if my tingles were purely psychological because I was stressing over hsv.

My H status is recent and I have not disclosed to anybody yet, however I can talk about life experience. Not all rejections that you will experience in life will be related to your H status. I have been rejected before H and have rejected others. My last rejection was huge. My marriage broke down, I was devastated, my self esteem was super low. Few months after I have met someone. While I still wanted to figure things out, he wanted to have a relationship with me. He was so into me and it felt good. i was so broken but I gave the relationship all of me. There was I love yous, lots of physical attraction... But than he started pulling away ... Getting close ... Pulling away again. And because my self esteem was low I kept ignoring it ... It went on for few month ... He left me, his reason was that my marriage issues were not resolved and it was too much for him to handle ... Funny thing is ... He was just in the same situation... It was just an excuse he gave me ... I was crying my eyes out for months ... Feeling unlovable .... My point is sometimes when we are down and not feeling good about ourselves we look for people to rescue us, we get attached, we don't see when things are not going the way they should and we stay in relationships past their expiry dates ... There are some people that come to our life just for a season and we mistaken them for the people that should be in our life forever. This guy was in your life to show you that you can feel loved, attractive, desirable ... That was his purpose, take that and only that from this experience.... he was there for a season ... The fact that he is stopping communication with you is because he knows he hurt you and he doesn't want to feel like a jerk and see you hurt ... because you did matter a lot ...

I have read that not only it speeds up healing, it protects your partner and it even acts as a contraceptive. It has antiviral properties when taken as a supplement. Melissa essential oil is apparently the best thing ever for herpes but it is really expensive. Not only it does wonders for obs, it is great for the nervous system .... But the price is ridiculous ... When it comes to coconut oil, DO use it as a moisturizer. Coconut oil has a lot of Mg and the best way of getting Mg into your body is through your skin.

Also research neem oil. from what I read neem oil might be even better than coconut oil.

I totally understand how you are feeling. I am new to this, and as sex was not on my mind all the time before, it totally is right now. Not in a physical kind of way, but anything related to it. As I pass cars on the way to work, I look through car windows, check people out and think about whether they have herpes. Seeing pictures of beautiful women was my inspiration to look after myself, now it is kinda reminding me that it doesn't matter what I look like, because of herpes. I was ok being alone even if it was going to be forever, now I think I will be alone, because of herpes. Going out is not fun anymore as everybody is talking about sex and relationships, and that's something I try to distance myself from, because I might not have it ever again because of herpes. Same with watching movies and listening to music. It's all about having sex or falling in love ... And there is the thought of herpes ... BUT THERE IS SOMETHING THAT I HAVE LEARNED BEFORE ... ALL THIS SHIT is YOU and ME ... It is not actually HERPES, it is our thoughts ... We are making our lives hell because we are unable to think of anything else and can't enjoy the moment ... We are focusing on the fears we have now and projecting them into the future and it is fuck*n scary. We know how this is affecting us mentally and can't imagine making someone else feel this way. But maybe, just maybe what is a big deal to us, is not a big deal to others. Did you ever hear of anybody becoming suicidal over a cold sore? I have not ... And in return for love and great sex, knowing it would last forever, would you be willing to scratch your privates from time to time? I know I would ... That's what love is ... You think it is forever and when you meet that person nothing else matters ... So maybe, just maybe we are both lovable enough and someone will take that chance ... And maybe just maybe we will feel good enough about ourselves and know that we bring much more to the relationship than just a dirty penis and vagina ... Until than we both have a lot of work to do ... We both have to put herpes aside and find our true value ...

I think that a big part of the stigma comes from People that were diagnosed with HSV. This is new to me, and just trying to educate myself and reading things of the Internet was terrifying. There is far more descriptions from people with HSV saying that HSV is ruining their lives, that they are suffering, in pain ... There was only a few things that I found that said, it is not a big deal. Also the advertisements for "cures" are just crazy ... And there is so many of them ... The wording in them is chosen in a way to make anybody think that once you have it, you are in constant pain and your privates turn into peeling crust. They make you feel desperate. And the media ... Always says highly contagious, herpes sufferers, painful ulcers ... I was hyperventilating just reading this crap ... I think the biggest emotional impact was reading testimonials of people that actually have HSV though ...

WCSDancer2015, i know that anything in life is possible, but what are the chances of someone that is a carrier (never any symptoms) to test negative on IGG test?

Thank you so much :-). I had a much better day today and even remembered how to smile :-). I guess it's because you wonderful ladies made me feel that I am not alone with this :-).