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Ajmj3726

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Everything posted by Ajmj3726

  1. So happy for you Atlantic!! Best of luck with your new relationship!
  2. ceegee, I decided to wait until I knew I wanted to have sex with him. For me that was about 4 or 5 weeks, it was our 8th date and we definitely did a lot of fooling around (without intercourse) leading up to that. So I waited longer than some people might have, but I didn't want someone knowing something so private about me unless I was 100% sure I wanted to be that close and intimate with him. Hope that helps.
  3. It really stinks that your cousin did that. But the fact is that the H is really very common. In fact when I told my therapist I have it, she was like, "you know basically everyone has it." An exaggeration but still. What people think of you is more about them than it is about you. Your cousin obviously has her own issues but those issues have nothing to do with you. You are an amazing, beautiful, open person and don't let any other person convince you otherwise. xoxo
  4. Thanks Atlantic! Good luck with your disclosure next weekend... I will be thinking about you and sending you positive thoughts, please let me know how it goes!
  5. Thanks Lelani! Hope all is going well with your new man as well:-)))
  6. I am excited to report I finally got the courage to disclose and it went really well! I took Adrial's advice from the disclosure ebook and it gave me a lot of confidence, but I was still terrified because I really like this guy. We have been dating about a month, last night was our 8th date and it was time -- I wanted to be intimate with him and knew I was ready. I got the courage to say it, and he immediately said, "Not a big deal." I was like "really?" and he said "Really. Two of my exes had it so I've dealt with this before." Then he mentioned that his sister has it, and that it really is so prevalent. I was so relieved I wanted to cry. (And then we had sex -- twice:-)) I have been stressing out about this way too much over the last month. I am really grateful to Adrial and all of you who have been so supportive. Just reading your posts has helped me feel less alone. Thank you all of you for being part of this community!!! I am also so grateful because I will still worry about stuff, but it will be regular relationship stuff now -- not this stupid insignificant virus! xoxoxo to all of you!!!
  7. I am so happy for you Lelani! Your entire post is beautiful but this line really moved me: "I worked on my developing my character, my body and my attitude so H would seem like a small price to pay to be with me." That's the key, doing the work on ourselves so we know we are awesome and amazing as we are... to really love ourselves. All the best for an amazing and happy future with your new man.
  8. Thanks for your note. I really relate to a lot of what you say. For example I realized that I too was getting ahead of myself, when I started stressing about this after only 2 dates. Now I have been seeing this guy just over a month, we will go on our 8th date this weekend. I really like him and can visualize a relationship with him, and I feel like he feels the same way. So now it is really time. But first, I have to have another talk with him, because I don't want to sleep with him unless he is willing to be exclusive with me. I will have that talk first... and if I decide he is worthy, I will then have the H talk. Over the last month I have really gotten to a much better place in my own mind. I know I have a lot to offer, and that H is such a minor and insignificant part of who I am. I plan to present the news as casually as I can, not a big deal, because that is the truth for me. He is 52 years old and has been single for 10 years, so I have a feeling he has probably come across H with other women in the past. Hopefully he is as cool about this as he has been about everything else so far. Wish me luck friends! I will check back in after the talk. Thanks so much to all of you for the support, it is so helpful.
  9. Thanks so much Blessings and Lelani. Your words have really helped me with my confidence. H is such a minor part of my life, except at times likes these when it seems to overshadow everything! Will let you know how it goes. Lelani all the best for your night with your man... he sounds like a dream!
  10. I have been with my soon to be ex husband for 20 years so I actually forgot what this was like -- aaaargh! So I'm dating a new guy, there have been 2 really great dates and I feel like it's getting to be time to disclose. I am so scared. Haven't done this in so long and am terrified of being rejected. I want to know what to expect. What are the odds that he reacts well vs not well? I just want to be prepared. Please share your points of view, thank you! I am so glad I found this forum!
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