So, it has been awhile since I have had to grab some inspiration and hope from this site. First, I wanted to introduce myself. I am a 39 (soon to be 40), female who has been living with H since a college boyfriend unknowingly gave me H via oral sex. Since that time, I have been in several relationships and have been married and divorced. None of my sexual partners have gotten it, and I have had only two people reject me because of it. Oh, and I have to say that the second one came back after about 6 months and somehow came to the conclusion that he was okay with it. So really, I don't count him.
Fast forward to today. I have been online dating for about three going on four years. I was divorced in 2013, and after 12 years was thrust fairly quickly back into the dating world. That is scary enough without adding the fact that I have herpes. I had one longish term (about 7 months) relationship and we were safe and he never got it. However, looking back I don't think he was ever really 100% okay with it, and I believe it was one of the things that caused the demise of that partnership. We were both rebounding from divorces, and so it was probably inevitable. I will say, it was one of the best physical relationships I have ever had.
Anyway, fast forward to today. I have met a really great guy who I see real potential with. We met online, and instantly hit it off. He is smart, funny, a Christian (which is important to me), makes me laugh, and is a true gentleman. I haven't been this excited about someone since my rebound guy after my divorce, and where that was mostly physical, this feels different. I feel like he really is wanting to get to know me and see where it goes. We have messed around once, but haven't slept together and I am really enjoying just getting to know him and I love spending time with him. Here is where my anxiousness comes in. All of the joy, and giddiness I am supposed to be feeling at this stage is clouded by the fact that I know at some point I am going to have to disclose to him. I was rejected around this time last year (by the guy who eventually came back), and it was so hard on me. I am so afraid to go through that again especially since I feel like this person is someone I could form a real relationship with. Any suggestions on the best way to go about it. I am an emotional person and in the past I feel like my emotions have gotten the best of me and made it seem worse than it is. I don't want that to happen this time. Any pointers you can share would be much appreciated. Thanks!