Kat76

So, I had a fourth date tonight with a guy I have been seeing, and I thought it was time we had the talk. He was coming over to my place for the first time, and I knew things could get physical. We went out to dinner, and then he wanted to see where I worked (we are both teachers), so I took him to see my school. We had a great time. When we got back to my house, we were sitting around, but were getting ready to settle in and watch a movie. I had planned to tell him so I decided it was now or never. I remained very calm, and confident and did everything I had read to do. He initially said that he had dated someone with herpes before and said it wasn't a big deal. Then, he proceeds to tell me that since we are having a serious conversation, that he wasn't sure that things were going to work out with us because of the distance (we live 40 minutes away from each other), and his schedule. I pressed further that he could be honest with me if this was about what I had just disclosed and not the distance, but he said that he promised it was not about me having H. I so wanted to believe him, but somehow I don't. I even asked him again to please be honest with me. I am not stupid, and I know that had I not said anything tonight we would probably be watching a movie instead of me typing this. He ended up leaving and said he would call me. (I'm not holding my breath). I am just so discouraged and sad right now. I have worked so hard to try to remain positive and calm, but when this happens it makes me feel like I am never going to find someone who accepts me for all of me. I just want to be loved, and I feel like this is just another obstacle that I have to face each time I meet someone new. I just want to crawl under my covers and not come out.

Adrial--Thank you so much! I have downloaded the e-book and it has some great stuff in it. Thank you so much for this support forum. I am so glad I found it. I just hope I can come back and post a successful disclosure story! :)

So, it has been awhile since I have had to grab some inspiration and hope from this site. First, I wanted to introduce myself. I am a 39 (soon to be 40), female who has been living with H since a college boyfriend unknowingly gave me H via oral sex. Since that time, I have been in several relationships and have been married and divorced. None of my sexual partners have gotten it, and I have had only two people reject me because of it. Oh, and I have to say that the second one came back after about 6 months and somehow came to the conclusion that he was okay with it. So really, I don't count him. Fast forward to today. I have been online dating for about three going on four years. I was divorced in 2013, and after 12 years was thrust fairly quickly back into the dating world. That is scary enough without adding the fact that I have herpes. I had one longish term (about 7 months) relationship and we were safe and he never got it. However, looking back I don't think he was ever really 100% okay with it, and I believe it was one of the things that caused the demise of that partnership. We were both rebounding from divorces, and so it was probably inevitable. I will say, it was one of the best physical relationships I have ever had. Anyway, fast forward to today. I have met a really great guy who I see real potential with. We met online, and instantly hit it off. He is smart, funny, a Christian (which is important to me), makes me laugh, and is a true gentleman. I haven't been this excited about someone since my rebound guy after my divorce, and where that was mostly physical, this feels different. I feel like he really is wanting to get to know me and see where it goes. We have messed around once, but haven't slept together and I am really enjoying just getting to know him and I love spending time with him. Here is where my anxiousness comes in. All of the joy, and giddiness I am supposed to be feeling at this stage is clouded by the fact that I know at some point I am going to have to disclose to him. I was rejected around this time last year (by the guy who eventually came back), and it was so hard on me. I am so afraid to go through that again especially since I feel like this person is someone I could form a real relationship with. Any suggestions on the best way to go about it. I am an emotional person and in the past I feel like my emotions have gotten the best of me and made it seem worse than it is. I don't want that to happen this time. Any pointers you can share would be much appreciated. Thanks!