Hi guys Im the real real newbie here, found out I have HSV-1 less then 2 weeks ago, and man, what a roller coaster emotional ride it has been. I have been working on getting a grip on my thoughts, emotions and feelings and controlling them instead of letting them control me, I have to constantly say to my self “I refuse to allow my feelings to determine how I'm gonna be"… and trying an make my brain work for me instead of letting it work against me.
A new thought came to mind today while I was driving home from work… so, I know everything happens for a purpose… and now I see purpose in this life-changing experience. at 31 years old I just been stopped on my tracks. I don't even look at women the same anymore, it all changed so fast, the way I use to look at a gorgeous fine girl and in my mind say “Dammnn she fine!”’…. (all guys do) lol….well, I no longer have those thoughts, its like my processing center inside my brain has upgraded to a different way of running things. the first week of me having this was horrible, but this week I am actually seen things different, and found new meaning in my life. I just hope this little pimple looking things that I have on the corners of my mouth dont grow huge like those “pictures’ that we all have been exposed on line. I work in a call center and I am also a DJ at a Salsa,Merengue Latin club…..I deal with a lot of people every day…. Im constantly looking in the mirror to see if they are getting bigger or what?
I hope all of this natural health/immune system building products do their thing. thats the only thing that got me concerned… ‘how bad or big will the sores get???? we will see, I mean I will see.
After that, I feel a HUGE desire in me to be ‘ a voice’ in this world, and spread the word. about this ‘un-invited guest’ that so easily cant take place in your life and just change your whole world around.
Be the voice to let people know how important it is to get tested even if you dont have symptoms. To communicate and educate and let my voice be heard and make people realize that it can be prevented, and for those who have it and decide to get intimate with you and NOT tell you… that is bad, really bad. you just dont do that.
To let people know that you can move on, and find new meaning in your life… at the end of the day, its your life and you choose how you live it, you are the driver of your car, you decide where to go. Its a decision that it takes. I am proud to say that it has not been to weeks and I already see things different and have plans to make a difference in this world, to touch some people, deliever the message. not be a shame and beat the ‘Fear of rejection’. I am on a mission. Dont care if I get rejected but I know that the outcome of making this desicion will touch many.
tomorrow I will tell my girlfriend. tomorrow morning I am meeting with my girlfriend to tell her what I have found out. She has noooo idea. today she text me and said that she is anxious to know what Im going to share with her. This is gonna hit her like a train and who knows her reaction…what will it be?
After I tell her I will invite her to go and take the HSV test which is in the same shopping center where we will meet. she has no idea but this is the right thing and I have to do it, I dont think she got it…I pray she doesnt. It will hurt me more then me getting it myself.
I am writing this cuz I want to leave this mark, because after tomorrow I will direct her to this blog, …and this is for her… mami, amor, I just want to say that I love you, and I got tears running down my eyes as I write this… I love you. whatever your decision will be tomorrow after you know this, I will respect. I hope you dont have this so you can move on in life. I will be ok. I am on a new mission now. I want to became a voice and will do a youtube channel just like the host of this site did. (I got maddd respect for you bro, we need more people like you and I thank God for running into your website cuz it just opened that my vision and gave me a new purpose in life.
So babe. know that I love you and always will. If you have it and I passed it to you, I didnt know…the moment I started having suspicions of ‘I think I got something’ you know that day I called you and told you I had to take a brake, no more sex or kissing…I wanted to get to know you at another level and leave all the physical aside. and then you said you loved me more for me saying that, my heart was aching cuz I didnt know what was coming…sure enough. I got herpes type HSV-1. I would have NEVER thought that my world would change so fast, my priorities, my way of thinking, my perception of things, my goals, my future.
I know theres a big purpose for this change in my life. It was what I needed to ‘wake up’. it was my ultimate calling. my life will never be the same and this is for the better. hard to see now, hard to understand but yeah. You will see my love. I pray your test comes back negative and I have a feeling it will. if not, then were in this together, or not. but you can always count on me.
To everyone reading this. this is exactly how herpes not only affects one’s life but sometimes the people around you whom you love the most.
to all reading this, This is NOT the end of me….this is a new beginning.
thanks to the host of this site and I am looking forward to building and networking with you to really touch lives and help those who cant help themselves and make a difference in this world…for the better, for our children, for our children’s children. This is why we must speak out and not be ashamed or insecure, on the other hand we got to strive and know that it is in our power to know, be happy…totally happy, enjoy life even more, go kayaking at the park, go running, go outdoors, love those who love you and also love those who dont. have more compassion for humanity and make our world a better place. Its a choice that we must make. Lets come together and reach out for the broken and let the world know you can be Happy with Herpes and LIVE. :)
from the bottom of my heart I write this,