Thumper

I will respond to the others later today. I had to work. Few hrs. I need to walk the dog and get to the gym

Bambina3: I'm an angry train wreck yes. I did make one last ditch effort on. Site for one month where I described exactly what I'm looking for and that I Hav herpes, am looking for s husband , hopefully Jewish, and someone who is as fit and active as I being age appropriate . The men that have responded to me are just like my 2 exes. Fat and old. It's like they disregarded everything I said... It was actually humorous:) . Ok so process of elimination tells me. See my therapist, work my 55 hr weeks. Dive into all my interests that I Hav time for and allow G-d, Hashem to bring someone to me. Let go and let G-d right? G-d made men & women to be together. Mabey I'm not supposed to be with anyone who knows. All I kno is that what I'm doing is not working, and I will not settle for a fat broke slob who has no libido, period. I bought a bicycle , rode 40 miles yesturday . Pretty good for s beginner eh? I know u were trying to help. Yes very true about being. Stigma. That's why wen I'm getting that it is an opportunity crammed down my throat I think it's bullshit!! It's designed to make us feel better. The truth of the matter is that there is no book of rules in any area of life. Each situation is individual. I think disclosing to someone where there is. Mutual physical attraction is necessary so u don't hook someone in emotionally and then drop a bomb on them . It isn't fair! Sometimes the truth hurts and if it's meant to be it's meant to be damn it! That beautiful fit leader teacher man that couldn't handle the sickness... Well... I guess it wasn't meant to be. If I was 30 yes old I wouldn't Rory about finding a partner so much . But at 54 I'm running out of time. And age appropriate gorgeous responsible men are one in a thousand at my age.

2Legit2quit yes my posts r harried because I'm doing them on. Break or lunch from work on an I phone thank u for your support !

I don't kno how to tag people in my responses. Again.... Thnx for all the input from everyone. Shanshine: I Hav many other posts somewhere else here that I've talked bout my history. I dated 2 men from the positive singles website. They were only interested in sex. The one could Hav cared less if I had an orgazm or not . After this I started thinking different about men. Do we Hav the same interests and goals? Does he take care of himself physically like I do etc.... I am seeing a therapist, a psychologist who specializes in cognitive therapy. I will repeat myself since I have more free time than I know what to do with Shanshine. I was married to 2 men that would not have intrcourese or go down on me because the trade off for them was that I would take care of them monitarily. I did not have sex for 13 years while I was with them. I felt lucky that I even had s man.

To whom it may concern please delete my account. I Hav no idea how to do that nor do I have the time.

I'm tired of u people not actually READING wat I write !!!!! I said I was MARRIED to 2 men who would never have interviurse or go down on me while we were dating or married!!!! How did u miss that ???!? After a while with toys it was like wats the use it got old for them and me. To be blunt Bambi as my friend whom I showed the papers to said " thrusting is important" I also don't appreciate your comment about stop looking for mr right. Where in my above post did I give the impression that I was even looking for anybody???!!!!!!! All I said was that I showed the disclosure papers to s make friend of mind and he gave me his opinion !!!! Fuck!! I eork 60 fucking hours a week I don't need this dhit from people who don't actually read what I say. I'm outta here for good. Wen u Hav s sick pussy like we do, and j try to sugar coat it Hoon people in and make light of it and call it an opportunity no less people see right thru that shit who don't Hav it!!!! Get your heads outta your asses people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is just a friend! I was sharing info about h with him. He's not a guy I'd ever sleep with. It was his feeling about the papers. Just getting a male friends point of view

Well I have a man friend that I Hav no intention of sleeping with and I showed him the 2!disclosure sheets. He said quite honestly if he met a woman with herpes, unless he was going to Mary her he would not have interviurse snd he hates condoms. I was married to 2 men who would not have intercourse with me because of my herpes. We used toys for s while but that got old ... There's nothing like the real thing... U cannot replace it, or sugar coat it in any way. J was looking at done potn he sent me cause we talk about everything. I was do jelouse . Also I don't think anyone has gone down on me orally since I was in my 20 s Needless to say ... Having a sick pussy makes me feel less ofa woman. Like I'm not s whole woman. If k cannot hsv intercourse , I'd just assume not have anything at all.

I am not Jewish but my whole life I have been spiritual, hopeful,open... One day in high school my mom came home from work and I had 2 elders stilling on the couch lol. She was furious:) they were Mormons. I was curious.. I had jshova witness friends young life friends(Christian)...Abraham Hicks laws of attraction... I'm not an atheist. The first 5 books of the bible r the Old Testament. Also u won't find Jews asking for money, I think part of the reason for anti Semitic behavior is people r jelouse of the Jews, hue disciplined and successful they are. The book of Tanya teaches how to become a better human being... I will probably convert someday, IF I can find time to study. Forget about finding a bashert( soul mate ) wen I don't even have time to do my leisure stuff . I will wait for Hashem(G-d) to guide the right person to me IF it's supposed to happen. I will be going to Israel this summer for 2 weeks. I have met s group of wonderful ladies at my synegogue whom I can talk to about Jewish studies , the lifestyle and traditions, disciplines etc... I can forget about my disease because I'm upfront about pre marital sex. Usually if they can't handle that then I don't need to divulge any further. They say that non Jews who relate to Judeism r lost souls and were at Mt Saini...

stillmebutwiser thank you for your compliments and encouragement :)in the last 6 months from studying Judism it has woken up many things in my life about the way I feel and do things. My whole life when I met a Man I always thought" we like each other, let's see where it goes". Never thinking about their goals, values, how motivated they are, what is their emotional baggage, can they hold a job etc. the 3 stooges that I was with were NOT men!! They deliberately put themselves first and watched me work like a slave... It wasn't that they wanted to step up to the plate. I was hopeful snd thought they would change. I know better now. The latter 2 traded s marriage w no sex due to my disease for being able t sit on their ass. I appreciate what you said about your grandparents :). I have made compromises and settled for less my whole life. I feel that I have integrity, and much to offer... So... I'd rather have exactly what I want and need for my well being, OR if I cannot have that then I'm better off alone. It is important for me to be with s Jewish man whom is Torah observant . It's s lifestyle.

2Legit2Quit: I'm not saying I don't want friends on here, I just don't feel the need to spend my time on the weekends having lunch with people who have this, when it's not a discussion group, like this only in person. I don't need to worry about being rejected anymore because sex is out of the equation :) Mabey I'll meet a Jew who has it eh?

I'm not sure I understand what @ sil88 is upset about. I'm only voicing what has happened to me re. Recent rejection due to this disease, and I guess weeding out the "ASSHOLES"!!!:( who when they seem interested in me, when I'm telling them no sex before marriage, I don't even hear from them again. If some gal has shit on you and you wanna share... BY ALLLLL MEANS DO!

I wanted to listen to the audio about rejection that I got in my e mail and I enter my password it still won't accept me

I feel crappy about what I said up top re. Adriel lining his pockets... I was lashing out in anger as well as buyers remorse due to lack of free time now. His response to me was so warm, comforting, uplifting , dripping with positive and understanding energy, words etc., that I felt undeserving of such support, due to my crappy attitude:)! I appreciate all advise and support from everyone who reached out after my tirade. I will read all of this to my psychiatrist next week. I'm taking this weekend off to attend synagogue, Jewish studies, work out, bake bread etc.. Before another 55 hr. Week ahead. In listening to a rabbi speak on Isrseli talk radio, uplifting people, giving of myself to people from a positive g-dly perspective is my responsibility ..,,,.its the right thing to do not only for others, but benefits myself as well. Treat others as you would have them treat you and reap the rewards from doing so! Someday I hope to pair up with a kind, fit, age appropriate, Torah studying Jewish man whom will adore and have my best interests at heart. I will not settle for less than that, I'd rather do without and thru therapy, and self care, learn to be happy with being single. I wish happiness and support to everyone here ! I will check back on the weekend to see if I can be of some support too:)

I've been working 55 hrs. A week. I Hav not been in here at all! This is the first morning I havnt had to rush off to my job BEFORE work. I also Hav not been showing support to others. I wish however that I would not hsv wasted money on this course that Adriel sells . I Hav no time to look at it let alone my Jewish studies and I think he uses it to line his pockets. The support brunch was a joke. I don't need to make more friends, or acquaintance s in my life, let alone ones that specifically Hav herpes. There was no discussions, just an excuse for people to get together who already Hav established friendships in the group. I joined a dating site in which I wrote a very lengthy profile expressing my not wanting sex before marriage AND the fact that I Hav herpes. Many many views, a few e mails but all from fat ugly lonely men. I'm soooo done! Hashem meant for me to be alone... So be it. A man at work that I talk to off and on for the last year gsve me his no. Long story short hr wanted me to come to his house after work to get better acquainted . I said we should meet somewhere. He said he wasn't trying to get me to his place to take advantage of me. I said I wasn't worried about that snd that I was waiting for marriage anyway. He had been texting me all day up until that point snd IVE NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGSIN!!!!!!@)(&!!!. He is s manager in the huge factory I eork at, well groomed, my age, not s slouch by any means not s loser. I didn't even need to tell him about my herpes he dropped me because he knew I wouldn't let him fuck me. I wasn't worthy of him getting to know me as a human being.!!!! I'm seeing a psychiatrist now. I wish I had the guts and strength to commit suicide!!! Even men in their 50s only wsnt to fuck. I should have fucked him and given him a dose of me that he would hsv remembered me fit the rest of his life everytime he had an outbreak !!!!