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Learningasigo

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Everything posted by Learningasigo

  1. Hi All- I thought we could start a chain with our favorite encourage quotes, or things that made you laugh, or feel enlightened etc. Whatever it is that got you through one of "those" days so that when someone else is having one, they can come to this thread and feel uplifted. "Don't let a bad day make you believe you have a bad life."
  2. Work on YOU being ok with it first. Once you're ok with it, it won't matter what other people think. I agree 100% with the fact that our emotions about herpes are more about emotions we already had that herpes brought to the surface. Worry about yourself. I would do some reading about the power of the brain and positive thoughts.... It's like any new challenge you start, losing weight, eating healthy etc, you have to get the pattern in place and then it gets easier. Read "Tuesdays with Morrie" He says he gives himself 15 minutes every day to feel sorry for himself - he cries, whines etc and after that he stops, because life goes on with or without you. Time is your most precious and valuable asset - use it wisely! Be well. My heart really does go out to you. I still too have bad days, but they get better. Don't let a bad day make you believe you have a bad life.
  3. I thought I'd share this recent case with the forum. This woman won $900k in pain and suffering after a man she slept with was convicted of giving her the virus and not disclosing... Even more incentive to talk about it. http://news.yahoo.com/ore-woman-wins-900k-lawsuit-over-herpes-claim-165600521.html
  4. Hi Sister- Wow, again no judgement, but you're misinformed on SO MUCH of what you said. You're facts about herpes are not straight at all. This is an epidemic and you are taking away others right to choose what is OK for them - doesn't that strike you as unfair and simply wrong? "Your rights end where mine begin" Remember that. As a person who was not given a choice of getting HSV-2, I'll be honest and say that fact that you're having sex with people and not disclosing infuriates me. I'm genuinely offended. I'm not going to berate you, but I relate to the men you're sleeping with, not to you. IF YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT YOU SHOULDN'T BE PUTTING OTHER PEOPLE AT RISK TO GET IT. I'd also like to bring up the possible legal ramifications of your actions. People are suing people who don't disclose and they are winning. http://news.yahoo.com/ore-woman-wins-900k-lawsuit-over-herpes-claim-165600521.html This isn't a game or a debate of being free spirited... This is a black and white issue of right and wrong. This is about you taking away someone's right to live their life as they want. I view your choice as incredibly selfish. You're lack of disclosure makes you a part of the problem with this epidemic. I hope you take some time to learn about what's going on in your body. Lysine nor any other vitamin or amino acid will 100% prevent outbreaks. You can absolutely transmit this even with protected sex and even if you aren't having and OB - herpes is contracted from skin to skin contact, plenty of places a condom doesn't cover. The virus also "sheds" which can make you contagious. I hope you realize that the way you're going about this isn't productive. Maybe it's time you face that free spirited energy inwards and begin understanding what's going on inside of you that allows you to be on this path. I don't think you're a bad person - but I think you're making some very questionable choices. Be Well.
  5. I like to keep an eye on clinicaltrials.gov as well. You can look at who is enrolling for herpes medication trials, see various phase results etc. Interesting!
  6. Hi Nicole - welcome to our open, loving, nonjudgmental, honest, ask anything you want community. I'm newly diagnosed as well and have my parents to thank as my supporters. I'm a little different in that I believe in using the word herpes because I believe we further the stigma of the virus by, even as people who have herpes, not calling it that. I do believe it is an opportunity, but the name the opportunity goes by is herpes. Be a part of the solution, the stigma will only change if we change it. The uninformed people aren't going to do it for us. I encourage you to be patient during this time in finding someone to be with. I echo the suggestion above to do research and learn about what's going on inside your body. It will help you understand and also equip you to educate others. We, as humans, find solace and comfort in understanding. Knowledge is power, I promise. The more you learn about herpes from a medical standpoint, the more you'll understand how this truly is a pesky skin condition that comes up now and then and just got a bad wrap. Don't let the stigma get in your brain, let the facts speak. The "why did this happen to me?" will subside, the answer is we all take chances whether we sleep with 2 people or 200 hundred people... you just happened to be dealt this hand. It's a wake up call, use it positively. It's permanent, but it's not life threatening. Make sure you take care of yourself - get rest, eat well, exercise etc. The better care you take the stronger your immune system is and the more power you have over your symptoms. Lysine, vitamin C and Zinc all help in keeping the virus dormant. Deep breath! Life is all about perspective. This will be a blessing ultimately and I'm grateful that I have something that will deter anyone who isn't worth my time or my heart for me (and just so you know, if he rejects you because of it, it doesn't mean you aren't great, or even that he wasn't worth it - it just means that the situation isn't for him, and that's his right.) Be Well! You have a whole life ahead of you!
  7. Check out the H buddy list it's full of people who are looking to support and be supported http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/223/need-someone-to-talk-to-herpes-buddies#Item_122
  8. I encourage you to do some research, tingling doesn't just come from outbreaks... It comes from viral shedding as well. Your body sheds pieces of the virus through your genital tract, you can also be contagious during this time. The first outbreak is typically the most severe one you will ever have, but everyone is different. An outbreak is sores, blisters. They open up and crust over eventually and heal. a yeast infection is not on your skin (though I realize your skin may itch) look for the other symptoms too - the discharge etc. You may have also built an immunity to diflucan or whatever yeast medication you're taking, or even have a medication resistant yeast infection strain (which is why there is so many news stories right now about how people need to just stop throwing back antibiotics). Some suggestions to discuss with your health care provider for reoccurring yeast infections: -boric acid treatment -diflucan/generic 4-6 day treatment (once a day) If you don't think you're getting the answers you need, ask for another docs opinion. or go to a gyno instead of just a general doc. Also, if your blood test is positive, you've had herpes for at least 3-6 months... possibly longer. Typically people find out from culture tests first and blood tests don't become positive for months. Also know, a lot of people have herpes and don't get symptoms. It's possible to never have an outbreak in your life and be positive. everyone is different and the only thing that will help you learn YOUR experience is time. If you feel constantly itchy (for me, my body itches, arms legs, scalp) think about daily suppressant therapy. Take an active role, do your research, learn, know the facts. It's the only way you'll ever have peace of mind. The medication regimen for a first outbreak is 10 days for acyclovir - 3 times a day @ 400mg/pill = 1200mg/day. Daily suppressant therapy all the time with or without symptoms is typically 2-400mg acyclovir pills a day = 800mg. The duration of outbreaks vary from person to person and the sooner you begin taking your meds during an outbreak the sooner it will clear. They ay outbreaks last anywhere from 2-14 days. A week or so with meds, depends how severe and if it's your first or your 50th. Your body builds up immunity over time.
  9. I was officially diagnosed on January 5, 2013. I'll try to hit the high points so as not to drag on. My first sign of symptoms was brought on by warming lube that I didn't even know we were using (upon further research lube brings on outbreaks for people) It's ironic because I didn't want to sleep with him that night even though we had been previously intimate. So the next day was new years eve and new years days I started feeling like a yeast infection was coming on. Had one blister and I remember thinking "if I have herpes I'm going to kill myself"... I went in for an exam and was told "I look at herpes all day long, this is not herpes" I requested a blood test in addition to the culture test. The doctor told me she was "positive" I was fine, little did we know I was the one who was positive. Couple days later I made a follow up because the symptoms were more uncomfortable, I was in the room waiting for an exam when a medical assistant came in and started explaining to me about acyclovir and how to take it - I was confused and explained I was waiting for a follow up exam. Her response was "Oh, you didn't get your positive results yet?" No ma'am, no I didn't. So that's how I found out - from someone not equipped to inform me or answer any of my questions. Public health at its finest. I started doing research and learning about the varying seroconversion rate from person to person. the number for each lab are different (the measurement at which they identify different thresholds that equate to negative and positive) In the lab I was tested in 1.1 is considered positive (and it take 3-6 months from inception of the virus to get a positive result) I was a 5.0. (which is good because that means my body had a strong reaction to the virus. The test is measuring your reaction to the virus) This meant I had been infected for a significant amount of time, likely had exposed other people and also wouldn't be able to track who I got it from. I did the best I could and I notified every guy I was intimate with in 2012. Most of them I told via phone, the rest I sent anonymous ecards to from inspot.org telling them what they needed to be tested for. It was really tough to start the conversation, but I informed everyone within 48 hours of finding out. No one has ever called me to tell me they spread it to me, so I wanted to do the right thing and give people the opportunity to know. I'm not a coward. Different things happened, one guy told me I should kill myself. Another guy of 15 years of friendship wouldn't even listen long enough for me to tell him he told me he would "hate me for life for whatever I gave him" my ex just listened and said ok. None of this was really an amazing experience. I am blessed though in that my parents know. I come from a very open family. My brother knows too. It's a little hard around extended family because I'm the pretty put together one in the family with the great career, always traveling etc and they constantly ask why I'm single. I was dating a guy before I found out that I had never slept with and we continued to date two months after my diagnosis still not having sex. I told him and he told me that he would always be my friend and that was that. There was also another guy who I had been talking to for six months long distance who came to visit and I told him and he said "I dont look at you different at all" but then I never heard from him again... that actually hurt more than the honest guy. For now, I'm just learning my body. Trying to get more rest and take care of myself. I am not really interested in dating at this point, I'd just like some time to myself.
  10. I'm fortunate. I have a very supportive group of people around me who are encouraging. even two women I've know most of my life who have herpes, but I didn't know that until I disclosed to them. They are both happily married and have several children and women I admire in business. But for the rest (and majority) of people who don't understand what I go through physically or emotionally, I'm getting tired of the suggestions like "join a herpes dating web site"... No one was suggesting dating web site to me before this because they new it didn't suit my personality, but this makes me feel like they look at me as "broken" or needing help. There's also the "maybe you just shouldn't date"... totally because humans were built to be alone - NOT. I'd like some thoughts or experiences surrounding how to cope with and not take personal "outsiders" advice. I understand they are trying to help, but how can you help if you're not in my shoes?
  11. Hi cupcake - I couldn't agree more with the above posts. Psalm 138:8 says "God will perfect that which is for us" so clearly your free sex life isn't what's for you. I'm only a few months into my diagnosis and I feel blessed at the way this minor virus that is minimal physically, but can be overwhelming emotionally, has made its way into my life. I too still have bad days (mostly bad nights when the lights are out and everyone has gone to bed) but in general, I've gone through the same reprioritizing that you mentioned. Don't you want what's for you? Whatever was perfectly designed to make up your journey and your ultimate destiny? I do! And clearly a free sexual life isn't for me. I'm a hard learner so it would have had to be something like this to get me to change my ways and THANK GOD it isn't something life threatening - it was something life-changing. Like someone above mentioned, it's the institution of religion that passes along the shame, not God. Your relationship with God doesn't possess shame. It's man's interpretation of God's word that implicates if you are and are not protected. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." He is a merciful God that allows us free will, that sometimes puts us in bad places. This is all part of your purpose. I promise.
  12. I've heard of headaches from a couple people I know with Herpes (I feel like the braver I am to use that word the less I'm facilitating the stigma attached to it) - acyclovir makes me TIRED. Like 13 hours of sleep and I need to drag myself out of bed, but I too only take it episodically, so that's the other side it's possible your body feels a bit overloaded by the meds when you only take it sometimes. Like vitamins, your body just may need time to adjust. Maybe talk to your doc about splitting your pills in half and taking halfs more often that still amount to the same dosing? I keep a food journal as well just to be accountable and be able to connect the dots, sometimes it's hard to remember what you ate during your last OB etc. Some people have trigger foods. The following supplements are recommended too from my research (but again talk to your doc about your situation): -zinc -prenatal (men and women can take these) -lysene (amino acid) -vitamin C These are all immune boosters and therefore are natural antiviral suppressants. I also recommend just adding more fruits and veggies to your diet. Lysene is found in a lot of dairy, but I don't fare well with dairy so the pills help and it's just one and done. Last, eat organic if you can. There are so many crazy pesticides that are used that you will never be able to know are even on/in your food that the clean eating switch is best. drink more water, eat more veggies and fruits and exercise daily - even a 20 minute walk is helpful for the mind and body, and therefore the immune system. These are all positive derivatives from a negative circumstance and if you focus on them you'll likely start feeling better.
  13. Everyone is different. The tough thing with herpes is everything is an oxymoron, they will say "it's very serious" and also say "it's just a skin condition". They will also say "your first OB is your worst" and then say "some people don't even know they have their first outbreak"...the key is that MOST people show symptoms 2-20 days, I had herpes for nearly a year before I knew, I did not have any symptoms therefore I didn't get tested for it. I too am an athlete and a very active and healthy person so my immune system suppressed the virus for a long time. Also, understand the virus. Don't google horror story pictures, expose yourself to the FACTS, not the terrible stigma attached to it. No matter what, things will be OK, I promise. This, and everything else in life, is about perspective. Be active in getting tested, they measure your "levels" so you will be negative, equivocal or positive, equivocal is essentially negative but it means your levels are raised and they are putting you on watch. GET TESTED REGULARLY. You have to take an active role in your own sex life in order to ensure your safety and the safety of your partners. Also, understand they are not testing you for the herpes virus, they are testing the measurement of your body's reaction against the virus. To actually test you for the virus (AKA look at your DNA) is called a PCR test and isn't typical, primarily because they are more expensive and herpes is not a life threatening disease. Also, be kind to that girl. This is a tough emotional battle. I'm sure she is open to questions, but be sensitive in your approach... Remember that you made the decision WITH her and she was brave to tell you. No one gave me a right to choose and I commend her for her courage in being open with you, and you should too.
  14. I have this picture in my head similar to the no H8 campaign of myself all dolled up and a taped X across my mouth with the tag "I suffer in silence" .... But who is going to fund thus marketing effort? We should really do this though.
  15. Anyone in the downtown Chicago area? Could be male or female in your 20s or early 30s. Just anyone open to chat.
  16. Be careful about how much you're doing with various baths etc. maybe try something per breakout or every couple days to see what works best? Schweitzers formula is amazing and domeboro (made by bayer). Epsom salt baths are great too, just be cautious about irritating anything. My best advice is to learn as many facts as you can about the virus that has made a home in your body -- knowledge is power. Lysene is an amino acid that definitely help, also recommend a pre natal pill, vitamin C and zinc... All of those will contribute to keeping your immunity high to fight herpes. Exercise. Eat well. Sleep (try some melatonin time release if you're feeling anxious), maybe do some research about 5HTP it's a supplement that is a mood stabilizer and could help reduce the highs and lows. DO YOUR RESEARCH AND BE INFORMED. Stick to the facts and skip the horror stories about herpes. And come to places like this when you need someone to lean on. Forgive yourself, give yourself time to cope, but most importantly don't let this victimize you. You are strong nd beautiful and I recommend you tell yourself that every day.
  17. Harlow, it's time to take control. I don't know about you, but no one gave me the right to choose HSV2 and its my sole mission not to make anyone else feel the way I felt upon diagnosis. I refuse to be as careless and thoughtless as the person who knew and didn't care or didn't know and hasn't been tested. What's done is done but there is from this day forward. First and foremost herpes blood tests take approx 3-6 months to come back positive: that's because everyone's immune system and seroconversion rate is different (sero = blood, conversion = change aka the amount of time it takes for you to have enough antibodies fighting herpes in your blood to be detected and return a positive result) I recommend the E book on disclosure as a starting place. You're not going to die, you just have a skin condition that pops up and is inconvenient from time to time... People died unexpectedly today in the war in Iraq, other were diagnosed with cancer, children died during birth, someone lost their battle with heart disease... The list goes on, we got off easy with this wake up call. The worst situation has not "happened" you have to take responsibility for your part in the situation and understand and accept what your can do differently going forward. As discussed all over this site, herpes isn't the problem. It's the things we already think about ourselves that herpes causes to surface that are the problem. Work on your self love and self kindness and the herpes will take its place in line with all the other dormant viruses in your body like the common cold, chicken pox, etc I wish you luck. If you're taking meds as suppressive therapy it's typically 800mg/day (usually 2 pills 400 mg) each, but check with your health care provider. For me, the best help was understanding the inner workings of the virus, what the prodromal period is, what happens during that time, what a dermatome is, viral shedding, how to prevent outbreaks etc... Learn as much as you can. You'll hate yourself less once you have a true understanding of the herpes process within your body. I'd recommend you abstain from sex until you're OK with your virus and ready to disclose - if you can't talk about it you definitely shouldn't be putting other people at risk. This is an epidemic, I encourage you to be part of the solution, not exacerbate the problem.
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