hopeful_1

Thank you for the advice! It really helps having people here to talk to. This place played a big role in getting me out of a dark, depressed state when I was first diagnosed. @adrial I signed up a long time ago, so I don't have the ebook anymore. I tried to sign up to have it sent to me again, but it says I'm already on the mailing list. Is there any way you could send it to me? I would appreciate it.

Hey everyone!! I just wanted to get some insight and advice on good ways to disclose. I have not attempted to date in a long time partially because I've been really busy, but also partially because I've been scared to disclose. I haven't told hardly anyone, so it's just hard for me to open up and tell someone about this especially if I like them and would like to pursue a relationship. With that being said, I've recently started talking to a guy. We've went on a couple dates and hung out a few times. We're only friends right now. I've made it pretty clear that I'm not trying to rush into a relationship and believe it's best to start off as friends, but I can tell he likes me and I really like him as well. We get along great and everything just seems to flow so naturally. I really feel like I should tell him sometime in the near future, but I'm not sure how long I should wait. I hate this fear of telling someone because of the stigma associated with it more than herpes itself. I'm a pretty positive, confident person, but I want to get over this fear. I feel like the first time will be the hardest. I guess I just need a push in the right direction. I don't want to live in fear because of something so small and insignificant in my life. If anyone has advice on how to disclose, please let me know. What ways have worked for you, or what ways haven't worked? I'm just so tired of being fearful of telling someone about this. I know, if they can't accept it, then they're really just not the right one for me. It doesn't make it any easier to get past this fear though, but I absolutely have to. I don't want to live like this anymore. I want someone to love all of me, not just a part of me. I just want to be free from the burden of keeping this so secretive. I don't necessarily want to tell a lot of people because I'm not to the place of being that open about it, but I would like it to be something I can talk about to someone if I feel the desire to do so without feeling anxiety and fear. All advice and encouragement is welcome. I need all I can get! Thank you all! :)

I was diagnosed with HSV 2 four years ago, but I still have times I feel down about it. I've come to realize that it's really not a big deal, but I guess the biggest thing I struggle with is worrying about disclosing and fear of rejection. I haven't met anyone recently that I'm interested in, so it's not something I'll have to do in the immediate future, but I want to be really confident when the time comes. The last couple guys I had been talking to ended up just not being the kind of guys I would want to date, so I never had to have that conversation. I guess in a way herpes is a good wingman. It has made me focus more on what I really want out of a relationship and not just settle for anything. Overall, I'm a pretty confident and positive person. I just have not had practice with disclosure. I have been really busy lately with school, work, and church, so I haven't really had time to even attempt to date lately. I'm graduating college in December, so I'm almost to a point where I want to start dating again because I want a relationship in the future. Anyone have advice on dating and relationships and how to get over fearing disclosure? Maybe it's not even rejection that I'm worried about. I've just only told a couple people because I'm just not comfortable telling anyone about it. I really hate the stigma associated with it. When I was first diagnosed, I was in denial for a long time. I guess I just thought life was over, but it's not. I feel like it's just really beginning now. I've made a lot of positive changes. I'm in the best shape of my life. Life's getting a lot better, but I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with this and pursue relationships. This has affected me so much more psychologically than it ever has physically. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger I suppose. I guess I should be able to bench press a Chevy by now lol. :-)