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Fran

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Everything posted by Fran

  1. Just read this.... Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced. James Baldwin
  2. There's a post a few lines down from this talking about it ( zostavax) with links to a study . Looks interesting , not had chance to read it all yet !
  3. @interror , just checking you are okay - what did you end up doing/ saying ?
  4. The situation sounds very complicated ..would the easiest thing be to say that you've just noticed symptoms after the flu and that it has probably been dormant in your system for years , ie before you were married . If she knows that you slept with a lot of women prior then you could say it was probably from one of those experiences . Keep it simple . If she herself has had an affair then she will be wondering if she passed it to you and maybe she will confess to this or keep quiet but be ok with you.
  5. Hi , if you haven't had an affair could it be that your wife has and has passed it to you ? Or that she could have been carrying the virus in her body . You may think she doesn't have any STDs but as noted many times Herpes is not included in general std testing . Or perhaps you caught it off someone before you were married?
  6. Herpes is so common yet it is so stigmatised ......I think things would be very different if it was included in the STD general testing . It would become much more commonplace, more people would be aware of it in general, more people would be disclosing to each other (hopefully) and maybe it would start being less of a 'big deal' . We need a campaign !
  7. Hi , looking for some buddies who are in the UK . Anybody out there ? X
  8. Thanks Katidid! That's good to hear about your hubby . How did you tell him about your diagnosis ? And what did he say ?
  9. Hi there , thanks so much for the recent replies WCS and Bambina and for taking the time to write to me . I'm just rushing out but will get back to you ! Xx
  10. Exactly ! There should be a big destigmatising campaign , more testing , a vaccine oh and a cure should be found ! And take down all those unrealistic images of it on Google....
  11. Thanks 'hippyherpy' ( great name by the way !) . Yeah , I know what you mean . I also think part of it is the thought of not being able to convey articulately enough all the facts about herpes ( in a way non scary way too ) . Truth is I'm absolutely exhausted from all the worry about this and from all the hours of reading I've being doing about it online ! I've got myself into a situation whereby I like this guy , he's wanting to see me etc and I can tell he wants to get more physical , as do I , but I'm making up excuses for not putting myself into an intimate situation and it's really hard ! It has to change things when a person knows they could catch something from you , no ? If it wasn't so stigmatised then everything would be ok . Nobody really worries about catching coldsores do they . If they included Hsv testing in an routine STI test then lots more people would be diagnosed and it would be much more out there . You would come across more people disclosing to you . That's one of my theories on debunking this stigma !
  12. Hi Adrial , thanks so much for your reply . I've watched lots of your videos and will download the ebook ! Until my diagnosis I ve always felt great about sex, my body etc and feel that people are attracted to me . My problem now is the thought of not wanting to transmit this to anyone else . It's the thought that once someone knows it will change things sex wise and not make it fun anymore . The guy I've met is so lovely and I don't want him to have to go through this if I did pass it on and then we broke up etc ! What do you think about breaking the ice in writing regarding having a conversation ? Then at least he's a bit prepared !
  13. I have gone over and over in my mind how I can bring this up and I'm just not sure I can ! I'm wondering whether to start a discussion in writing to him.....We message a lot in writing as it is at the moment and maybe this is a way in ? Has anyone done this , what are people's thoughts ? This will be my first disclosure . The stress of all this is seriously making me feel that I just can't do this , that I wish I hadn't got into a dating scenario with someone! The annoying thing is is that it's the first time in a long time that I've really fancied someone and feel that this could be so great . We have so much in common , are really attracted to one another but I feel that as soon as I disclose, things will not be the same . Help ! X
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