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hadvocate

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Everything posted by hadvocate

  1. I dont know if this is right, we should ask a doctor, but when i miss a day for whatever reason I take 2 the next day. That is what was recommended to me by my doctor when I was taking daily birth control pills so I assumed this would also apply to antivirals. Good question!
  2. I can relate to this 100% Every time my boyfriend gets sick I feel so concerned that i finally gave it to him :( The chances are so low if you are taking daily suppressant antiviral treatment which I do too. 2% is low! Its only a 1% difference if they use a condom or not.. I try to remind myself of that.
  3. I feel like there are so many factors that play into these situations! Like, are you on antivirals? If you are then the chances are SO high that he didnt get it. Even if you arent on the pills the chances are still high. Do you want to sleep with him again? If you do, then I think you should tell him. If you dont think you see a serious relationship in your future and its just going to be a one night stand kind of deal I wouldnt tell him.. I would try and make sure that you disclose in the future because its clear you dont feel good about this one time. But no one is perfect, we all make mistakes, there is no need to make yourself feel guilty for not telling one person. And remember that HE was okay with having unprotected sex with you.
  4. @MMissouri Thank you. This is a success story after all. I AM happy the very first person i disclosed to was so open and understanding. Disclosing or ever having a relationship again was a big concern of mine and now I know that it really isn't as big of a deal as I had thought.
  5. Hi, Im 23 and when I found out I had herpes I was definitely concerned about having to disclose. I ran through in my head what I would say literally all day every day without even having anyone in mind to tell. Having herpes did make me think differently about relationships. I never really wanted a boyfriend, I had one once for 3 years that i was crazy about but before that and after being single is what im truly best at because I like my time alone and I always seem to get more than enough attention to make me happy. I did like skipping from one guy to the next, and I had been saying I wanted a boyfriend for a while now even before my diagnosis but my actions never really equaled to it. So, my best friend has been really supportive and gave me very good, true advice and that is that the truth is that I shouldn't sleep with anyone im not willing to date. And I shouldn't date anyone I'm not willing to tell. I had been seeing one guy since February and it was clear he was into me. It never worked out that we slept together, we only kissed and I think that did make the idea of a real relationship more alluring for both of us. I got herpes in April and going on dates was so strange knowing just having sex is out of the question. He never pressured me to have sex even when he would sleep over and I liked that. Hes older than me, he is lowkey germaphobic (that really did worry me), he is popular, attractive, and his family is really wealthy so I thought his expectations of me would be really high but to my surprise, they really arent. I finally told him after steady hanging out for like 3 weeks. I just said it and I said that I take antivirals and I said we should wear a condom if he does want to and I told him the statistics. He said he didnt want to get it but that I was worth the risk and he wanted to have sex without a condom and I really did try to convince him otherwise and we have always worn a condom since just not the first time. But now im stressed because I think what If i gave him the virus already?! I feel so lucky that he likes me and he did ask to be my boyfriend and I said yes and that makes me really happy :) I am worried that i gave him the virus. What if I did have an outbreak.. Will you for sure transmit the virus if you have sex without a condom if you have an outbreak? I would love to be reassured that he is fine, however I really do want to know the honest facts about it. I kind of feel like i ruin everything.
  6. @Kat85 I can completely relate to just finding out and reading every article on the subject. Also to only telling my mom, best friend, and now ex boyfriend. He and I werent serious anyways and we didnt date long. My ex wasnt mad, & i broke up with him. Im not mad either though, i think mainly because I know its partially my fault for not wearing condoms because he and i never did and because i know putting my energy into being mad or sad useless. I do like to cry, and then i feel better and dont cry for the same reason again. It really could be worse. And, no one ever has to know. Its your secret to keep or tell to someone you trust. It can also be your choice to make it a casual conversation that you arent ashamed of. A lot of people here have shared their successes with that. Im so thankful for this site. I do hope you feel better :)
  7. @Katidid, I like your story, i really like how you lead into the disclosure. And i am happy it worked out for you both times, most successfully the second/ last :) I am curious if you would have told him if he said he did have a condom? Or would you not have? I also am curious if you and your husband use condoms every time you have sex now a days?
  8. I love all the advice, thank you! @2Legit2Quit @WCSDancer2010 Do most people take suppressant treatment do you think?
  9. I really like everything you said to him. Its a perfect example. I admire you, Thank you.
  10. I really hope I follow a similar path. I vow to be so healthy. I never want to go through that again :( I have read so much about preventative and pain relieving methods here, i took notes. I am so thankful for this web page. & Thank you for your comment @MMissouri
  11. I am upset i dont get to have casual unprotected sex anymore. I look at pictures of me 3 weeks ago and think how different my life was. The fact is that you can only have unprotected sex so many times before SOMETHING happens. Its all fun and games until you get herpes. Lol. The way I see it, I have been mostly identifying myself as a young blonde party girl and I am thankful for the reminder that there is more to me than just that.
  12. I really just found out i had herpes. I noticed something was wrong on a Sunday two weeks ago. I had severe discomfort/pain, i was inflamed/swollen, was experiencing light discharge & i had a loss of appetite. I thought it was from rough sex over the weekend. I work 9-5 Monday through Friday so the following day Monday i went to work but i went home early because i felt so uncomfortable, i cried. I went to see a male doctor Tuesday. I explained my symptoms and said i felt that i might have an std. He did not give me a pelvic exam however he took a bunch of tests and the first one up positive was for a uti. I went home with medicine and a doctors note to be back to work on Wednesday. Wednesday I woke up and there was no mistaking it. It was really bad, really painful, and really ugly. So i called in again on Wednesday and got in that afternoon with a female doctor. She diagnosed me with herpes and gave me 10 days worth of the pill that starts with a V. She also gave me medicine for chlamydia because I had more of a discharge than she said is associated to herpes however when i got the test results back from the initial doctors app, i tested negative for everything chlamydia included (they did not test for herpes). In my case I was bedridden except to go to doctors apps and the pharmacy. I walked funny, it was so painful I could not sleep through the night because of discomfort/pain/too wet too dry. I had to pee in a bath. And I missed an entire week of work. I didn't go back until the following Monday. I asked the lady doctor if I should quit my job now or what to say when I tell them I need more time? She suggested to say I had a kidney infection it would keep me home longer. I liked that. I don’t want anyone at work to know. And that is my question I have never found an answer to; God willing I get over this ob, get healthy (which honestly I really was before minus partying on the weekends and having unprotected sex) and never have another outbreak again lol, but if I do have another ob what do I say at work when I am experiencing the same symptoms: painful urination, painful swelling, & painful sores that cause me to walk funny? Towards the end I wore a pad like i was on my period. It did help me walk more normal. For me it was one week of horrific outbreaks and another week of tolerable but slow healing. I am currently in the itchy stage. So Tips? Please. Do I call in sick again? I have room mates! And im not telling them anything either which is a challenge. What do i say to them when i have another outbreak? Im not going to be dishonest with anyone I sleep with don’t get that impression, I just think that if im not sleeping with you then you don’t need to know. The pain is the worst part about this diagnosis to me. And the duration. From reading everyones posts I bought Vitimin B & Lyzine. I have been taking that regularly. I took the last pill of the Vala whatever the doctor prescribed me today. I don’t like the pain that comes with aluminum one but maybe ill try it. I didnt have just one sore I had somewhere around 30. It hurt so bad any time i did anything i felt like I was about to pass out. I didnt eat or want to drink anything, I lost 7 pounds. Truthfully this really is the worst thing that has happened to me in my life. Any advice is appreciated. Out of everything I have read online herpeslife.com has been the most informative, helpful and kind website i have found. It proves that there is 100% normal life after this diagnosis. Thank you for listening to me. I only told my mom and my best friend who both live in different states than I do so it means a lot to have a place to disclose my story and my feelings and to get accurate facts and helpful advice.
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