SunDevourer

We don't need their validation. Life will always be full of obstacles and really " Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind." You'll come across people who are fine with it and you won't even like them. How's that for a conundrum? 3 guys huh? It's funny cause with all this information we have. 2/3 worldwide have herpes and they say 4/5 people don't know they have genital herpes. Bet you these guys think they don't have it because they don't show signs and think that they've been tested for it.

Herpes can occur inside and outside the mouth, but I don't think it effects your tongue and throat.

Perhaps, but ignorance is bliss even for people who know they have herpes. Assume he does have it. It's an astonishingly common thing that little is talked about unless it's about shame and fear.You know what people have herpes? Only those that say they do.its enough to say you don't have it with little to no signs and the misleading information about it. It's nobody's fault. That's one thing about it. I say junk him. Don't hold on to someone who isn't making efforts to understand you or support you. It's easier sad than done and pherhaps he needs support rather then being abandoned https://www.herpes.org.nz/files/2513/9980/1724/Herpes_Myth_vs_Facts.pdf Hrm. Hope that link works A lot of times logic just isn't enough for people. Specially when you disrupt their false since of security.

Don't bottle up those feelings!!!! Let them out!! Cry, be sad, confused, angry. I'm so tired of misplacing my own feels thinking that what I feel at the moment is irrelevant. You matter. So don't ignore the fact that you're feeling frustrated or confused or bitter. Just be that. And don't let it consume you. Chron's and diabetes is definitely different, but in terms of something life long... Yes.

Wha!? I think the joke is one of them probably does have it. HAhahahahaha

The funny thing is... There's a chance you slept with someone who had it unknowingly Before this rude girl interrupted your life. That goes for both types of herpes. You can keep having sex and using protection. You don't have to settle down and be in a relationship... Which is how you kind of came off. Always dating but not in a relationship. Unless you're doing that "we're not in a relationship just dating." Thing here. If she intentionally did this. She was a bad apple from the start,but that's her. Don't allow her actions to become the problem of other girls who may potentially like you. I doubt you think all men are like yourself. So, why think all women will be like that bitch? Either way, maybe it will take 2 years to recover or more, but the way you seem to be hurting, I can only think that it's you who can only save yourself. Now I'm not saying forgive her because that is a challenge, but start forgiving yourself and what you owe yourself more. If you keep holding onto this it will be like holding on to an anchor at sea.

Don't be mortified. It's funny how it's always- I found out I had herpes and my partner and everyone else is negative. I think I have my answer. Because the test are not 100% giving false negatives and false positives.meaning a recent negative test could have been wrong.thats just what I've been learning from all this reading. Anyway; the best way to handle it is to not allow it to take over you. Blah blah blah. The stigma of it is really just having it. We get embarrassed like we got caught with our hands in the cookie jar like no one else wanted any of it themselves. I'm sure while going to swinger parties there's more than a handful of people who probably have it genitaly. Few know and others don't know and everyone most likely has hsv1 on their face. What is it 80% for hsv1 but 2/3 people world wide. So go tell your friends and keep swinging through life.

You don't even have to play that support feel good music! Make yourself a sexy mix and play that music. Dancing to it. Have a BIG glass of wine and you'll start feeling great. Now what you do after that is all up to you, but it's energizing and makes you feel confident.

Nah, fuck that bitch. I would have put her shit on blast. Talking about confidence and challenge and goes to refer you to an exclusive site only. Where is the confidence and challenge in that? If that truly was her best advice for you I would have told her to take a seat. What made her think that people knowingly or not with herpes would not be on those sites like match.com. Shit, I mean most likely they have it on their face or don't know about because Google image is highly unreliable. I'd ask her what good is her advice if You can't apply it to all aspects of your life and dating? And >* ))))>< I am curious about her other advice. To me that just sounds like someone who doesn't really understand struggle. She probably got bored and thought it would be cool to be a love coach because of her limited views on the conflicts of life thinking she knows something. But of course just because someone is a doctor or police officer, or attractive doesn't mean they're going to be good at what they do. Finding those good ones is like finding a relationship as well. I tired one herpes dating site and got just as bored with it like any other dating site. though it wasn't herpes only. More of the people had HIV and a lot didn't include a face pic. Which doesn't make the sites all to exciting when people don't have a face pic.

I don't know what those several reasons are... And I am not quite sure of your relationship, but how do you know he doesn't have it or was the giver? And no judgement on my part, but if he's your husband , in any relationship, communication should be a key point. And talking about it is what defeats the stigma. Because people don't talk about it. If not with him someone close that you can see and touch. If your friends are weird about it. Get new friends. If any of them get uncomfortable and can't talk about it with you. Get new friends. If you're in the relationship because you don't want to be alone. That's a good sign you shouldn't be in it if there's nothing else going for the relationship. You'll become stuck, stagnant, and miserable... Unless you already are feeling that way. Stop considering about others opinions. Don't let others opinions define you. Fuck that. I've tried talking to myself in the mirror. Just saying it. But got tired of it because I would laugh and think it was rediculous. The thing is what was it I was really trying to tell myself? In my opinion I don't see the need to disclose if you are having protected sex. Why? Because regardless of what that person says and they all say they are clean or don't have anything. That's a no. Because people are liars. We lie to others and we lie to ourselves. Hope I'm making since and not off topic.

It is what it is. You shouldn't feel horrible and you don't sound like a negative nancy. "You live you learn You love you learn You cry you learn You lose you learn You bleed you learn You scream you learn." Alanis Morisssete Have to quote that because I love her and music therapy is nice. When shit happens it can really wear us down. We're all pretty vain creatures, and if anything this really attacks is our vanity. But do not falter. Taking time away from dating can be a nice break,specially just to focus on yourself. A simple solution to your fears of someone not wanting to be with you because you have a kid or because you have herpes. They aren't worth your time, nor should you go on dates with them to see if they have potential. Some people may take your friends advice, some don't. My advice, start doing the things that you loved, or enjoyed . Since getting out of this horrid relationship, I'm encouraging you more to do this. Once you start doing this you may realize how little of an obstacle this really is.kind of like " it's not the power of the curse, it's the power you give the curse." Getting out of the relationship you were in is probably a new diagnoses called being single. Some people are happy when it happens and some aren't so happy.

There is also that. Telling someone after. Should be expected at times for them to freak out.

He's an idiot. Thing is he could have had it prior to meeting you and not know type 1 or 2. You aren't a lepur that's something else. I have a friend who's HIV positive, and has been for a good portion of his life. He would tell me how some of the guys would react to him when he disclosed his status. One guy he was cuddling with. He told him and the guy jumped away from him. And you know what? It seems that when this happens It's only being shallow and afraid. You're less likely to get it from someone who knows than someone who doesn't. Not sure what it was he couldn't risk. Wonder what he thought about.Being in a relationship with you? When someone wants to be with you they aren't making a risk, but don't get it twisted now. Even if he was fine with it he could have been a bad apple. You can't settle because you may think you're self worth is less. No no No Boo boo. You are worth loving. Dating sucks anyway. It can get better. It doesn't get worse. I mean did you love this guy? Was he your other half that made you feel whole. Was he the butter to your bread? Was he the milk in your cereal?

You can do everything you did before you found about hsv2 or even more. You want to wax down in the treasure box go right ahead. You want to drink, eat on your bed, walk barefoot ( avoid some public places though, some people don't clean up their dog shit) go right ahead and do that. Don't stop loving yourself. Unless you didn't prior to this. Then start doing it.I think that's the struggle with it. It's vanity that gets us. How frequently did you date? Thing is it's always going to be the same thing with dating. And the dating scene is rough.Some people like you some don't. You like someone, but he's " just not that into you." Dating has always been an issues. Just remember that you aren't the issue neither is " herpes." Unless you are the issue... LOL. You don't even have to take meds. Unless you get any breakouts that might be a bit much to handle. People suggest taking them before sexual activity at least a week... I think. I sweat between my thighs like some god dam water park, but have never had an issue of a OB because of that. OB and such vary upon the individual and from what I heard Diats don't make a deference, but some say it has for them. ...if you're worried about sun exposure take vita D. People are actually poor in that catagory. You're not a vampire. You're not some handicap to yourself or society. It's no different than hsv1 regardless of what people might say. It's not like having type 1 or type 2 diabetes.

Boo on your doctor. Having it in the nether regions doesn't mean you are not healthy or that area isn't healthy. I had a suspicious bump a couple of times. But nothing like the photos in Google, which now I'm convinced are posted by the West Bureau Baptist Church. Just a pimple. No patterns of any kind so I too have no idea what to look for if or when some unwanted guest will show up. Now I did get some tingling feeling, say 4 years ago and that's about it.nothing painful just an odd tingling. If any burning feeling I had it was either from eating something spicy, or the after effect of of intercors with a particular friend of mine. It wasn't burning just hurt to go to the bathroom....probably off topic now. There were times I had lesions, or a tare That I thought were just fissures. No puss, no burning, no scabing, no clusters.Just hurt to poop sometimes.They had occurred after a hemroid Now I did have a friend who had hsv1 and she showed me. It was inside her lip. I'm told hsv1 orally isn't always outside your mouth looking like someone popped you in the face.

I vaguely remember the recent conversation with Adriel and a guest about shedding. Think she said something about it being less to those who have little breakouts, but it also depended on the individual. Don't remember exactly. But it is the stigma. Another ironic thing is why is medicine prescribed for suppressive therapy for genital terms, but not orally. Though I know the People at the clinic I went to nearly suggested taking them when I think I'm having sla break out and nothing more.

Just googled it! The images aren't nearly as graphic. Thing is when I was diagnosed I couldn't go off the images because it wasn't the same. No blister, no scabing, no progression. What I find ironic is when ( I do know some people are fine with it and part of it is education) we talk about using condoms for genital to genital( assuming it's hsv2) but never any encouragement of using protection orally. And who uses protection when kissing someone? Since the majority have it on their lips. It's ironic that there is this idea of hsv 1 being better than hsv2 because it's not like having type 1 or type 2 diabetes. Herpes just is.. Even if hsv2 is rare orally I don't want to hear about what sheds more where when 50% of genital herpes diagnosis are hsv1 ( shedding and breakouts depends on the individual since others show no signs at all.) and that doesn't rule out oral to genital and genital to oral... I wonder... That's probably hard to track. Hsv1 genital to genital, or genital to oral

☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆ I liked that he asked you those questions about what it was like to tell him and how you felt.

Mmm. After taking a sexual education class. I say just because you're a doctor doesn't always qualify you to give advice. Just prescribe. I had often thought of being a sex therapist, or at least having a hand in that field. Going from condoms to no condoms back to condoms, Do you have any idea what the doctor said to him? Because I would feel like that's redundant. He's already been in the juicy fruit. I think any relapse in fear is just imaginary. Though, why not just be playful with the fact that sometimes you use condoms and sometimes you don't. Do you use different types? Flavor? Ribbed? I don't know if that's too personal because I already know you have it down there.lol. ☆〜（ゝ。∂） excuse my humor. As much as you may think you're protecting him and yourself. When it actually happens there is only so much you can do and it , for a good portion of it, will be up to him. Like how we try to prepare ourselves for a death that's may be soon with a relative,Unplanned births, job interviews. We can always be so prepared until it actually happens... let's not fogget that anyone can be in a relationship for years and not be ok with something, or a partner wasn't honest about things they said were ok. That's not herpes that's just people in general. P.S they aren't taking a risk. This is not a scene from " A Walk to Remember." Where loving someone that may die in a couple of weeks can have you question if it's worth it or not because of the attachments and a long life of living without them. And then we cry and move on, or stay single with cats. Unless they left us with children. Then who's going to help with that? ...(´･_･`) ok... Done.

It probably is more common for the fact that people don't go to their doctors, or clinics for issues unless pushed to their limits, or something major.even that men are less likely to seek medical treatment. And people still lie... To themselves and others. What's funny is how the image for herpes is the blistering, flesh eating images on google when in fact that's not the case for everyone. From no symptoms to mild tingling, itching, burning while urinating( not in the way it does for ghonna) or nerve pain. No one is going to think its herpes when they google images.

I say... Tell him to get over it and get over himself.

Wow, this is a hard case of the Debbie downers. I think any therapist that We're to do what you described would be awful people to see. Not even worth your time. You can see a therapist, counselor, spiritual adviser, but what is it you want them to tell you? The quick fix and hacks to life? They are not their to do all the work for you. Do you, or would you want a therapist to say those things? That it's your fault, you're gross and that you are a waste of time? Seems like if that's what you've been trying to convince yourself is the truth, but don't whole hearted believe that. really though, if you found a therapist like that it's either some rough motivation Techniques, or a very bad therapist. No one should be listening to that. When tragic, or alarming things that happen to use that bring us into another reality we aren't comfortable with.. It can be difficult. We become broken-hearted for lack of enthusiasm, confidence, and the like.whether it's how you acquired it, what it really means to have herpes, and the whole situation itself. I think it comes down to realizing how we aren't perfect, but maintain false pretenses on what perfection is and if we are not that there is 100 ways and books out there to give us an idea how to be the most identical to it. But change happens. To be perfect is to become stagnant like a puddle of water and never changing like rivers, mind you that have a direction. Change is inevitable. So when change happens to you. Do you bend or break? And if you are broken, what pieces do you keep and what do you toss away that no longer is of use to you?

Hehe, I wouldn't have thought AlopeciA to be on the list. But emotionally hair loss can be devastating. Specially with no eyebrows and eyelashes

well. I say don't tell him.why? It's already over and done with. Do you want to see him more? Then yes, I would tell him. Thing is. If he asked if you were "clean" because you asked if he had a condom tells me that he probably doesn't have sex often, or doesn't use condoms often. And it can be both. Just a little too trusting he sounds and probably doesn't use condoms... I know I repeated myself there.. Not to poop poop on your good night, but he probably doesn't even know his own status

"When we can no longer change a situation,we are challenged to change ourselves." Viktor Frankl