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StillMeButWiser - thank you for your thoughtful advice. I hope your word prove true, that my value to my wife is more than the worst fears that are dominating my mind. For crying out loud - is this normal? I feel like I'm contemplating a horrible cancer diagnosis. I had such a foreboding night last night - a random Canadian in the foreign city where we both work heard my accent on the street and latched on to it to start a conversation because he was recently divorced from his foreign wife and lonely. Then I lost one of the cuff links my wife gave me with our two kids initials and I took both as bad omens. While I don't take stock in those kinds of things it can give you something to think about. I found the cufflink in the parking lot this morning.

It was definitely a herpes test, by a Dr. who studied herpes for decades and clinically diagnosed me but ordered the tests to confirm. At a guess, I'd suggest the first test was a false negative. I discussed it with the current health worker and he thought the problem could have been it wasn't a good swab the first time. I haven't had an affair and assume I'm a carrier who didn't notice and/or the virus was dormant. The reality is that she's suspicious of me because of my recent emotionally distant behavior and the fact that before I met her, I slept with over 100 women. Not something I'm proud of now, for many reasons, but not something I can change. If the children were grown, this would be easier for me. Not being a family while they're going up would be the worst possible outcome for me and them. I should have a plan B. I'll book a hotel room and hope I don't have to use it. I've tried to pick a day when I could be local for a few days as I'm away 3-4 nights a week. Probably another reason my wife might be suspicious. Emotionally distant = motive and working away = opportunity. Any other advice? 30 hours and counting. If I don't lose my nerve.

I was tested 16 months ago and it was negative. I'm as sure as I'm breathing that she doesn't have it. This is where my thinking is evolving to: The goal - keep my family Option 1: Tell her tomorrow, calmly, openly and with the facts about my having H. Start by telling her that I have something important to share. Tell her that it's not clear how long I've had it or where I got it from. Tell her that I'm sure she has questions and I'm here to discuss everything. Provide her with all of the research documents I've gathered on transmission, outbreaks, dormancy, asymptomatic carriers, transmission reduction, etc. I believe she will respond at first with shock, then ask if I've had an affair and doubt my answer, then probably ask detailed questions about when/how I noticed. She has a degree in microbiology, by the way. Then she will think. She will doubt. She will weigh believing me and living with it together against breaking up our family. There's a significantly higher than zero percent chance (but I'd say less than 50%) we'll make it through the week. Rejection equals near instant loss of my family. Option 2: Don't tell her. Stay on the anti-viral meds, use condoms, don't have sex during outbreaks, be thorough in my planning and secrecy. For the next 5 - 15 years, until she hits menopause it should be possible and the risk of transmission relatively low. I'm likely to keep my family for at least some if not all of that time. The downside of this plan is that if she does catch H or finds the anti-virals or goes on birth control (so why would we keep using condoms) or for any other reason finds out, then the odds of keeping my family fall significantly. It's also fundamentally dishonest and I think immoral to knowing expose the woman I chose to (hopefully) spend my life with to H without letting her chose. I'm not saying I've never been dishonest or immoral but this situation feels more weighty. I compartmentalize and handle stress well generally - I run a company, do extreme sports, etc., but this situation has stressed me to the near breaking point. Yesterday, I gave one of my key managers a really difficult time, she was apparently in tears when she left the office. I don't think I'm coping well. All of this leads me inexorably towards Option 1, but the thought of 'the talk' fills me with a dread and fear I am unaccustomed to. If any of you have advice or encouragement or caution to share, please reply. If i don't lose my nerve, my first disclosure happens in 32 hours. Thanks.

I've was diagnosed with HSV2 5 weeks ago and have no idea how to tell my wife. Here's my story: I've been with my wife for 12 years and have two beautiful children, both under 6. Our relationship, while never easy, has been a bit rocky since the kids arrived juggling two careers (with me constantly travel) and trying to give the kids the absolute best we can. Frankly, I haven't been really happy for years, generally unsatisfied with everything and am not the easiest person to get along with in the best of times. Ironically, the H has given me a new perspective on life, what's really important to me, how much I love my family and couldn't bear to lose them. I love all of them more than life itself. The problem is that before my epiphany, I was pretty distant from my wife and she occasionally in the last six months would seriously ask if I was having affairs. It's not baseless thinking on her part as I led a bit of a wild life before we got together and had sex with a large number of women. One time I secretly ordered viagra in an attempt to spice up in our sex life; she found them and saw this as evidence of an affair. When I tell her about my diagnosis, I can guess where her thoughts will immediately go. It could be the end. I found out I had H after a horrific flu swept through my house, with all of us being taken down with 104F (40 C) fevers for days. Shortly after that, I notices a few pimples on my scrotum. I had seen something similar before, about 16 months ago in exactly the same place and had them tested. All tests, culture and blood, came back negative. This time, I was not so lucky, positives all around. I hadn't ever really noticed anything like this before my first test. I know my wife does not have any STD so it would not have come from her. My questions for you are: 1) is this kind of experience common? And 2) do you have any advice for me on how to approach this? My only goal is to stay married and keep my children. Please help. Thanks