Having a negative frame of mind will just lead you towards a negative spiral. Make this the catalyst to improve your life, make some amazing changes and live a healthy life.
One thing worth mentioning is that in order to get statistics that correlate HIV risk with HSV risk, isn't it possible that the people studied would have a higher chance of being an at risk group in the first place.
You were totally responsible! Disclosed, waited for him to process the info and you brought the freaking condoms! It is HIS choice not to wear them. Some people have more open minds than others.