vividlife67

Hello, So I posted a little while back about my partner going back and forth about using condoms or not, and we talked and have gotten a lot closer, and he said he was comfortable going without. I'm on daily suppressive therapy. Wednesday, he told me he thinks he has "the flu". Fever, aches, upset stomach. I remember the fever and aches I got when I had my first outbreak (I thought I had the flu too). I'm really worried that I may have given him herpes. He has not said anything about genital symptoms or actual sores. I haven't had any outbreaks in quite a while, and have been taking Valtrex daily. I know he knew the risk as did I with not using condoms, but I don't know how to handle it if I gave him herpes. Do men generally have the same symptoms with a first outbreak? Has anyone else had the flu-like symptoms for the first outbreak? I will feel awful if I gave it to him, even though I know that even if we used protection AND daily meds, it was always a possibility. Anyone had experience with giving an informed partner Herpes?

Hello, I'm fairly new here and just need some input. I've been dating someone for 3 months, and I told him about my status (HSV-1) before things got physical at all. He wasn't too familiar with the specifics about herpes, so I gave him the H Opportunity handout, which I think he found helpful. He's been really insistent so far on using condoms, and I started taking Valtrex every day. Last night, he initiated having sex without a condom. Then this morning he said "hey, can we have an uncomfortable conversation? How much more at risk am I since we did that last night?" I repeated the statistics, as to my knowledge with just daily suppressive therapy it's a 2% chance, and with condoms in addition it's a 1% chance (is this correct?) He said it felt amazing, and he just thought it wasn't fair to not ever experience being with me with no boundaries. But then he also said "obviously, we can't do that all the time" and said it was his fault it happened. I feel like he's very on the fence about this, and I'm trying to be understanding because I know he's taking a risk, but I don't know how that would work moving forward. How am I to know how often/when he is ok with doing it without a condom? Is it wrong that I kind of feel like all or nothing? I just wish I felt accepted for who I am completely. I am just very confused and would like some insight. How can I talk to him about this? I felt kind of hurt when he said obviously we can't do it all the time.