Emma13

Hahaha thank you for injecting some humor. Yes I think I was overreacting. I had a friend look and she said she gets that too from wearing shorts or skirts and sitting on things. I'll just clean it off :) But sometimes I do get scared. Thanks! ~Emma

Hello, I am sometimes unsure whether a spot is a herpes outbreak or just a badly placed pimple or skin infection. I dont' want to put anyone at risk (because I do have a sexual partner) but I also don't want to overreact. Normally my outbreaks are on the lips of my vagina or even around my anus. I have three tender red spots on my butt cheek but that is it. They don't hurt a lot or anything but I am concerned because I really really really don't want to pass it on to my partner. I might be making a mountain out of a molehill but is there some way I can be sure? Thanks Confused and worried, ~Emma

Thank you so much for this information! I will keep working on this. This was very helpful and supportive.

Hello, I have HSV1 on my vagina and it has been about a year now. I have two questions: has anyone in my similar situation decided they should use dental dams as well as condoms when having sex and oral sex? how common is it to transfer to someone's mouth? Any my second question: Has anyone who has had HSV ever not had a full outbreak but their clitoris is ezra sensitive and a little painful and stings? I can't tell if it is an outbreak or just a temporary abnormality. This has happened twice and it goes away. There are no signs of sores elsewhere, just a sensitive clitoris. Thank you so much everyone!

Wow that is amazing! I'm happy for you! I'm so scared of disclosing myself.

That's great! I have a question, did you say HSV1 or did you say oral herpes becoming genital? I am looking to actually start having sex again and am contemplating how I will disclose. I am wondering about the vocabulary that people use because just the word "herpes" has so much more stigma attached to it than it merits. So if I may ask, how did you tell him? Most people wouldn't know what it meant if I told them I had HSV1 on my genitals... Thank you! and I am happy for you!

Well from my limited experience and knowledge yes it does differ for each person individually but often it can come out after a period. But it might not happen! Hopefully if you keep a healthy diet, exercise, and sleep enough your period won't affect it but it does change for everyone. I have been getting an outbreak after my period--and I'm on it now so we will see how this one goes! Good luck my friend. Keeping a journal is a good idea. Also for your thoughts!

Well, I tend to rush things I suppose... I got diagnosed with herpes only in April. So I'll give myself more time. I had them once a month at first, then they lessened, and now with increased stress levels I had different things that I believe are herpes outbreaks at least once a month and I am trying to learn how my body deals. It is also confusing because sometimes I have outbreaks that are definitely more like the first one, (similar spots, similar but much less pain) and then I have had others that I think are herpes that are more like an itchy/painful rash, and then ones that are just simply one or two very painful pimple-like but mostly likely herpes mostly on my rear end.

Do people normally get fewer and fewer and less dramatic breakouts as they age and their body learns how to deal with it? Or does it stay regular? Of course I expect fluctuation with times of stress but I mean in general.

Ok thank you for all your help and advice! I'll learn to work with my body...

Oh ok I see. Well I am still new to all this, 5 months, and I'll keep working with it. Lowering stress levels is the hardest part--herpes just exacerbates it! Is there a difference between the herpes suppressive meds or are they mostly the same? Thanks guys

Hello everyone! I was wondering if it is possible to still have herpes outbreaks while taking the suppressive medication every day. I am taking valacyclovir once a day now (I was taking it twice a day) and I have two spots on my bottom and am paranoid now and was wondering if it was herpes or just a little skin infection/pimple. Can you have outbreaks while taking the meds? I am not with anyone at the moment so there is no danger of it spreading if it is herpes but I just need to learn some of the more science behind it and get to know my body better. Thanks!

Hello, I'd like to join in on that concept with another question. I have genital herpes but it is HSV-1, so does that mean that it is likely that my partner gave it to me from oral sex and has just herpes orally? Or is it genital? Or is it even possible to know.... (they have never had an outbreak) And then (linked to your question) can HSV-1 shed if it is just oral herpes? So should everyone that even just gets cold sores (without any of the herpes stigma) "disclose" to their partner?

Hello lifegoeson1234! I am thinking that hopefully this outbreak and itching will go away soon. They usually don't last that long. So soon you will be able to sleep well again and the itching and pain will go down. I don't see that as a reason to take off school! On the contrary hopefully you can use this as an experience to grow! You can look into taking different medicines every day to lower the chance of an outbreak, personally I am on Valtrex. As far as constipation goes, I get that too and I would buy some Miralax powder that you mix with water. It doesn't taste bad and it will help with it within the day usually. I hope you feel better!

Hi Vanaud! I am sorry to hear you are upset--I understand. I got herpes just after my 21st birthday so I understand that being only 23 and getting this is upsetting too. I contracted it in France so I had to deal with it all in French (my second language) so I really feel for you to have to do this in English which you say is not your first language. It sucks! I just wanted to say that this is not your fault and it isn't fair but you are still young and strong and beautiful and can still be happy. I get outbreaks after my periods mostly but I started taking Valtrex for a while just so I don't have to stress about it. Then I will figure out how I will deal with it in the long term. Good luck to you and I'm sending good vibes your way! ~Emma

Ok thanks Adrial! I didn't realize it could spread to other parts of the body. You're right about the intimacy and sex, I just don't think I've gotten past the emotional side of herpes. It doesn't make me feel very confident in my everyday life let alone sexually. But I'm working on it!

Hi Everyone, I have a question, I am still with the person who most likely gave me herpes and so I was wondering if we could still have sex if I had a little outbreak since he probably has the virus too? I mean as long as the outbreak isn't painful. Everywhere I read that to prevent spreading herpes you just don't have sex when you have an outbreak but so far I haven't read of a situation where the person was still with the person they got herpes from. Thanks ~Emma

Thank you everyone for all of your love and support. I am still figuring things out, but I realized I don't think about it every day. I don't know if that is good or bad. Because except for those miserable 2 weeks it hasn't affected much of my life. I still am with the guy who unwittingly gave it to me (he has never had an outbreak let alone knew he had the virus) and life goes on. But soon I will go back to the states to finish school and I'm scared that is when all the rough stuff will start. I appreciate your help everyone!

Hello everyone, I just turned 21 in March, and as a birthday gift I had my first outbreak of herpes. I am studying abroad and had to do this all on my own and in French and it was a really really difficult time for me. I am doing a lot better, and miraculously found these websites quickly, but I am still struggling from time to time. Neither of my partners in the past 6 months seem to have it, but also I'm not sure they did the right tests. I like to be giving but in this situation I'd rather be the receiver because I would hate to have given it to the guy I'm with now, we get along great and he is supportive but so far we haven't had sex since I got diagnosed and had my outbreak (beginning of April). --the one I am with will get another test, the one before isn't being as cooperative-- Well, I don't exactly know where I'm going with this but I just feel so young to have this forever and everything here is very supportive but there are moments when I feel so alone. I was talking to a friend of a friend and I don't know how it came up but she said that she would rather be buried alive than have herpes...Now, I know that is extreme but it scares me because it does represent the social stigma that is very prevalent in relation to herpes. ... So, my happiness and self-strength comes and goes in waves, and I look you all of you for support. I have support from my parents but I haven't told any of my close friends yet because I am abroad and wanted to talk in person... Thanks for everything and I admire your strength! Much much much love ~Emma

I just found out that I have it as well. I also am in great pain and feel really alone because I am studying abroad right now and so I had to do all this in a different language. I am so happy I found this website right away because it is already making me feel a lot better. Yes our lives will be different, especially our sex lives, but they aren't over. Although it is hard to think optimistically when I am in more pain than I've ever felt in my live, I am trying to get a jump start on acceptance and dealing with it. Make sure you take the time to relax and lie on your back and air things out a bit too. Wash with warm water and only warm water! (no soap) Anyway, my best wishes to you and I hope that things improve for everyone.