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Alyssa (formerly abby83)

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  1. Hey all! Haven't been on here in ages and wow this site and thread has grown! I'm 31, female and have had herpes for 6 years. It's been a struggle but I have had nothing but positive experiences and have really come to terms with it so I'd like to offer support to anyone who needs. I was lucky enough to find great people on here to support me when I needed it and I want to return the favor. I live in Denver, CO and can meet in person or am happy to email/call/Skype so please reach out if you'd like. Since I'm not on here much, shoot me an email at [email protected] Love and light to all!
  2. I started writing this in my journal in the Raleigh airport last Monday and as I was writing, I thought I may as well just share it on here. Sorry it's taken so long to post but it was way longer than this and I wanted to cut it down a bit. And life has just been hectic lately. It's still pretty long but I like to write and couldn't decide what else to cut... sorry. Love and miss you all!! When I bought my plane ticket to Raleigh a few months ago, I had just met Adrial and was feeling inspired by him. Just from his energy, I knew the seminar would be amazing and life-changing. But shortly
  3. In my never-ending quest to find natural ways to take care of my body, I've found a bunch of information regarding herbs to use for herpes outbreak treatment and relief. I mixed up this blend of oils a while back and (unfortunately) have just had the opportunity to test it and it really seems to be working. Twice since my last outbreak I noticed what I thought were prodromal symptoms and used it for a couple days and I never ended up having a full-blown outbreak. Then two days ago I started getting an outbreak and have been putting this on consistently since and it is definitely going away muc
  4. Thank you for this post, Lelani. I'm in the midst of my first outbreak in almost 8 months and, as optimistic and accepting as I've become about this, it's still so hard when the little bugger rears its ugly head. And being single and having to think about disclosing in the future makes it that much more difficult. I've felt the same fear of connecting with men because I don't want them to feel tricked. Though I'm comfortable and okay being single, I don't want to be forever and right now I can't help but feel like I will be because I'm so afraid to get close to someone and be rejected So it's
  5. Hello friends. There are a few things in these posts I want to address. First of all, domh21, from my own experience, from everything I've read and from everyone I've spoken to about this, it only gets easier. The first outbreak is the worst and subsequent ones should be less severe and occur less often. Personally, my first one, while painful and uncomfortable, was mild compared to what I've heard from other people. And each one was less and less painful until they became nothing more than a nuisance. However, they were very regular and occurred often. For the first year and a half or so, I d
  6. I don't recall where I found this but I have it posted in my kitchen where I can read it every day-- Stop. Revelation. Cue the spotlight: There’s nothing wrong with me. And there’s nothing wrong with you. Here’s how I know both of these statements are true: You’re playing the game of life as best you know how, and trying to get better every day. You can’t possibly do someone else’s best, so there’s no point in stressing about it. You make mistakes like everyone else, which allows you to learn as you go. That means you’re doing what you should be. You’re unique, wh
  7. I will never get tired of hearing stories like this! Why is it so ingrained in us that something so inconsequential has to be a deal-breaker?! Why are we so convinced that we are damaged and not worthy of love?! Ughh it makes me crazy!! And it seems that, more often than not, when we connect with a person and share our dirty little secret, the response is "that's it? I thought you were going to tell me..." It's nothing! No big deal! My god, how much worse it could be! Like lelani, my heart is bursting and I am just thrilled for you mariii!! And for all of us. Thanks so much for sharing and I w
  8. For close to four years now I have smiled and laughed every time I've heard a herpes comment or joke while inside it would tear me apart. I've excused myself from situations on multiple occasions to go to the bathroom and cry. I'm not so bothered by the comments/jokes anymore and tend to just ignore them but that has taken quite some time. I intentionally do not laugh at the jokes and am getting to the point where I want to just out myself and tell people to shut up but that hasn't happened yet. The worst was when I was at a party with this guy that I was dating and had only just disclos
  9. I am a member of this local herpes group/website and I finally attended my first event with them this past Sunday. It was a lovely brunch with about 12-15 women talking about all things herpes. It was really great to be able to talk openly about it with these women and one of them told us about her experiences with disclosing. I won't get into detail about her story but she shared that she has disclosed to 4 men since she was diagnosed. Here's the good news- all 4 were okay with it. Now here's the GREAT news (well, not really "great" I suppose but it definitely reassured me and made me feel a
  10. I haven't been on here much lately so I just saw this thread and I simultaneously want to shout "I have herpes!" from my rooftop and vomit at the same time. I actually almost "came out" to my Women's Health class last week when we were talking about STIs but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Fuck it, count me in. I'm so over the shame and embarrassment I've felt for the last 4 years about this. I think I would feel more comfortable with more people though. I agree that 10,000 still makes us seem like a minority. But either way, I want to do whatever I can to help. I'll set up my profile in a b
  11. Yay! Thanks for sharing. I had a similar experience during my first (and so far, only) disclosure and it's just so great to hear about others. Unfortunately things didn't work out between us for reasons unrelated to herpes but the fear of telling has creeped back up. So I appreciate hearing positive stories like this. All the best to you and your new love!
  12. I haven't been on here in a while so I'm just seeing this. I would love a buddy! Gender doesn't matter but it would be great to meet up with someone in person. Though phone/email would be cool too. 29/f/Denver. Get in touch!
  13. Iris4 and lifegoeson-- I think I am probably too late but I am sending you both all sorts of healing, positive energy! I hope it went well (or goes well if you haven't told them yet). Remember that no matter what, you are deserving of love and happiness. I thought for a long time that no one would ever love me again because of this and I was so wrong. This guy is MAD for me now and I am him and it is truly an amazing feeling! I never would have believed it before but there are really great guys out there who just don't care about this. I so hope that you are with some of them, but if not,
  14. So sorry for falling off the map for a while but I'm back now and wanted to update people, in case you're still interested. After dating for about six weeks (so just about three weeks ago) I finally couldn't stand it anymore and told him. I went over and over in my head what I wanted to say and how, knowing it likely wouldn't happen as I planned, and of course it didn't. But it went better than I ever could have imagined!! He came over for dinner and I was planning to tell him right away but I couldn't bring myself to do it cause we were having such a nice time. So a little later we were
  15. Well it's been about a month now since I started dating this guy and I still haven't told him. Of course we haven't slept together but we have been pretty intimate and I've even spent a couple of nights with him. He's been a gentleman and hasn't tried anything but I'm not sure how much longer that can go on for. So I'm really starting to freak out about this whole thing. I don't know if I can tell him! I'm still feeling relatively okay about and accepting of my situation, but I just don't think I can bring myself to say it. I am terrified. I really like him and we've been spending a fair
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