AmyDazedConfused

Hey Hiking girl-- I know that you are totally right. But I have felt dismissed by my doctors- considering I do not have any visual sores, I feel as though my pain has been negated. In addition to the negative swabs- I think they look at me as if I am crazy... but more importantly, wasting their time. (This is actually why I went to PP! Judgement free and actually interested in what I had to say) But its nice to have that reminder-- to stand up for myself! And HH- It sounds like that might be in the false positive range that Optimist was talking about in an earlier post?

I just ordered the test and will go in for the draw on Tuesday. I'm just confused because I have been deterred by two different doctors on getting the blood test as they are entirely unreliable. These mixed messages from health care professionals are terrifying!

Hey optimist! Well, I have suffered from cold sores since I was a teen- so would that effect the results of the test?

Hello community! I had posted back in August because I was told (upon visual diagnosis) that I had the H. There was no blood test (I have been told the blood tests are pointless), the swab ended up being negative, but the Doc still insisted. After feeling judged and still having questions- I went to a planned parenthood (thank the Lord for them!) for some more answers and clarifications. The initial episode was painful. I had written a post about how my pseudo-boyfriend was willing to get tested. He did- and he was negative. Prior to him- I hadn't had a partner in over a year. The episode ended within 4/5 days. (Our relationship coincidently didn't last much longer either) Since August- I have had 8 episodes of soreness and discomfort. It comes back every 2-3 weeks and are short lived around 5-7 days with no use of any medication. I have seen doctors and NP's since- and NONE of them see signs of ANYTHING. I have tested swab negative 3 times during these episodes. While I am experiencing the pain/discomfort in my vulva, docs only report seeing 'a bit of irritation.' There has been no sore, no ulcer no nothing. No painful urination, no smells, no fevers- nothing. Except low grade pain. I have tried hydrocortizone, estrogen creams, vitamin e oils, antifungals, probiotics. Nothing seems to be effective. More recently, I have been experiencing soreness in my butt while having the episodes. This seems to match H symptoms. Questions: 1) Has anyone experienced issues similar to these? Back and forth status? If so- what was the outcome? 2) Because I do not know my status -- and no one else seems to know, too-- should I disclose a "maybe" status to someone I am newly dating someone- we are about a month in and I am interested in becoming intimate. 3) Any suggestions as to how I can put the guessing to an end and just find out once and for all?

Yes, please do

@optimist, Thank you so much for your reply. It actually brought me to tears because its the first time I actually saw real hope. I will use this information when I talk to my psudo-boyfriend. You seem so strong! I hope to get to your mind-set someday. Your confidence in your worth must come through when you are disclosing your status. From what I have read, that is really important. Thank you for showing me its possible. I need to somehow get to that point. How did you get there? As for all of the other stuff- the babies, suppressive therapy and my responsibility to share. All of your words are calming to me during this shit-storm!

Hi guys, thank you for your notes of support. It does feel good to know that I am not the only one who is going through this. That my depressive reaction is not abnormal or my desire to just quit is understandable. I've been praying a lot, asking God why I deserved this. I assume this depressive state will continue for a while. I don't want to be alone the rest of my life- but I also have too much pride to disclose this to anyone. I see that @optimist, you have been dating- but do you often find people are not looking for long term, committed relationships? I have so many questions. How would one even get pregnant if all sex needs to be protected? How does suppressive therapy work? Since I have no idea when I could have contracted this, what are my responsibilities to people I have slept with in the past?

I'm a 33 year-old female... and I just found out that I have H2. I have long wanted love, a family, a happy future-- and this recent diagnosis feels as though my dreams are impossible. I may have had the disease for years- but experienced my first outbreak after sleeping with a new, wonderful man. (I do not believe he was the one that gave it to me) We waited a month to sleep with each other. We had talked about travel plans, that we were falling in love with each other, about what we wanted our future to look like together. He provided me great comfort when I tearfully told him about my first outbreak. He made me laugh between sobs. But every day that passes since my telling him, he is distant and moving away from me. He said he was willing to get tested himself- but he hasn't done it yet. In so many words, he is telling me the relationship is over. I don't blame him. I have suffered from depression and low self esteem my whole life. I feel hopeless. I have thought about going into the streets of Chicago at night- and asking someone to shoot me. I don't see the point of continuing on when the things I want are now impossible to get. Dating has always been difficult... and now to add this... ! I know the stats. But I also know that if I was in his place, I would reject me too. I'm average. I am a teacher, I don't make a lot of money. I am decent looking, but nothing to write home about. I read these posts- people posting about shame and hopelessness. The support this forum provides is wonderful. But I just don't believe it will get better. I don't have anyone to confide in. I don't believe I will be accepted.