Startingover37

I'll go get it checked out. I still dinterested have sores and my concern is that without it, I'll get a negative regardless. I've been trolling the westover heights page and according to Terri, that's pretty common. I mentioned the PCP swab once to my dr, and she'd never heard of it. Maybe I just need to pop into an Std clinic..

I was diagnosed last sept. with HSV2. My values were high (14) so the dr suspected ive had this a long time. I have never to my knowledge had an outbreak, but the more I pay attention to my body, the more I wonder if what i've been feeling is some to be concerned with . I take generic valtex daily and have since diagnosis because Im in a relationship with someone who we assume is negative, he's never tested. (he knows about me). Last week, I started to get this pain in my left thigh. Sometimes it was along the top, sometimes the back. Then, I also got some pressure type pain in my vaginal area. It moves around and is sometimes near the anus, and sometimes near the left opening to my vagina. The left side is rather swollen, but I keep checking it a few times a day to see if something has popped up. It's viably more swollen then the right side. Has anyone experienced this? Is this a common type of mild outbreak? I've started taking olive leave and L-Lysine as well and it's not getting any better, or any worse really. I'm wondering if because im on the suppressive meds if it's just making hte whole thing more mild? any advise would be greatly appreciated.

Well, I did it. It was so hard to get the words out, but I could literally feel the weight lifting as I did. He seemed fine with it. He asked a few questions and then just started kissing me and we had sex, protected of course. It had been quit a while since we'd seen each other. We spent an awesome night together. I had missed his birthday so we celebrated. The next morning he texted saying thanks for the great night. We texted for most of the morning and then he faded out and got busy with work. I did as well. I texted him a picture and he didn't respond. This isn't unusual for him, but of course, my head started going into overdrive. By 8 I hadn't heard anything, so I texted to see what he was up to. He said he was enjoying a glass of the whiskey I got him. We texted for a bit, and then I said good night. I hate this place. I'm just waiting for it to hit him I guess. Im scared he is now processing this and I will lose him. I feel very insecure and I hate to feel that way. I know I just need to let it play out the way it will, but this whole thing has me on edge and I can't focus. Is it common for someone to change their mind and decide they can't handle it?

I had a friend (male) suggest that since v we've already been intimate and have developed feelings that ito probably not a big deal to him. I'm bad about my gut instinct. It seems to be wrong a lot lately. I feel like it probably wouldnt matter that much to him, if it weren't for all the other mess in his life right now.

Thank you @jingleBelle. He is a great man. Very loyal and honest. So, what's everyone's experience with disclosure? Do most guys run away even if they've developed feelings? My fear is obviously rejection but also that I've exposed him. I wish I had a crystal ball. This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Okay, all good points. I guess I was trying to replicate my drs nonchalant attitude. People just freak out at the word. I know I did. I've practiced telling a few friends and its been hit or miss. Now I feel like an ass. I guess I'm just over thinking the whole thing.

Thanks @Miji69. I appreciate the feedback. I think I'm getting to a place of acceptance with this. I should be, I've done nothing be research for the past 4 days. Anyway, I will likely be having the talk this week. I am going to try and go into it with the "it is what it is" attitude. I don't hold anyone accountable for exposing me, as I know that most of us had no clue we were carrying this virus. I would hope he will take the same stance. I will just sit him down and tell him that I have some news and I need him to listen to me all the way through. I'll explain the circumstances.. that I saw my dr. she suggested the testing, yada yada yada. Then, I got the call. I am a carrier for HSV-2. Do you know what that is? Then, when he says no, I'll have to say the dreaded words. Its the gene that carries the herpes virus. I will then go on to explain that i've never had any symptoms and that my levels indicated that i've had this for quite some time. I will explain the stats for transmission and explain our particular risks. I'm going to try my hardest to come at it will confidence, and a matter of fact attitude. Then, I'll see. I have come to realize that I have no control over his response, only over my delivery and attitude towards the news. It isn't my job to hold this in as an attempt to protect him from the reality of it. He has every right to know, and I need to get this monkey off my back. Even though our relationship is in its infancy, we have always been honest with each other. I am hopeful because I know he is rational, no reactive, and very kind hearted. That's all I can be. If I go at this from a place of fear, he will pick up on that. This is going to put our status on the front burner. The "what are we" question I've been milling over will finally be answered and why not get it out in the open. If he wants to continue and sees me as someone worth taking a risk for, then great. If not, then It wasn't' meant to be. As I write all this, I know that if it should all fall to shit, I will be in a much different head space, but then you all can remind me that it was for the best. Thanks again

Hello All and thank you for including me in your awesome "club". I've been lurking for a few days now. so, here's my story. I'm 37 and newly divorced after a 15 year marriage. I've been dating since January. In June, I met a great guy and we've been taking our relationship pretty slow. The sex part, however was off and running very quickly. We had an immediate chemistry. He lives a few hours away and we usually only see each other once a week. last weekend, I developed a wonderful UTI right before our next meeting. I was going to his place to meet the friends. It was really exciting. But, since I was under the weather, we found other ways to play. The next day I got into the dr. she gave me an antibiotic and suggested I get and STI panel done since I'm newly single. She also recommended the herpes test which I now see if very unusual. So, I got the testing done. Well, Friday night I got the call. Herpes 1 and 2!!! I'm devastated. I have not left my bed all weekend. I have no idea how to tell my partner, especially since we were starting to move forward in our relationship. I know he cares for me, but I'm not sure he's at the point to risk his entire sexual future to be with me. I'm so scared to tell him and to be rejected. I understand the risks to him already and we haven't always used protection. Only at the end. We have never had the STI talk. He is very open minded sexually, but there is no way of knowing how he will react to this news. I've grown to really care for him as well and it is so horrible to think that I have unknowingly exposed him. I have never had any symptoms that I know of and my HSV2 level was a 12. My Dr thinks I've had this for some time now. Possibly years. Since I don't have have an outbreak and we've only been together for 3 months, I doubt he gave it to me. I should also mention that he is having a very stressful last few weeks. He has a 2 year old with another woman and things have been very rocky lately. He's about to go through some major changes with their custody and living arrangements and he is very down about this. In fact, he told me last night he's not doing well at all and I have't heard from him since. I know this is really weighing on him because when I was with him last he opened up and was very emotional about the whole situation. I am not sure when I'll see him next, but I'm fearful this info is going to send him over the edge. I've scoured the internet and this forum looking for suggestions but all I have found is info on how to tell NEW partners, but nothing how do you tell your current partner. I'm not sure going into it with "confidence and self pride" is the best method, and honestly, I have no idea how I'll get the words out without breaking down. He's not a reactive person. He's very calm and he will research the heck out of this I know for sure. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. I'm so scared. this feels almost as bad as when I had to tell my kids about the divorce. Thanks