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Ab

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  1. Glad I'm not alone! I usually do warm epsom salt baths before bed but that can only help so much.
  2. I felt so alone and doomed until I found this group and I'm forever grateful. We all need support and I'm glad to be someones ear.
  3. During my first outbreak I experienced extreme leg and back pain. Now in the middle of my second OB I am experiencing the same symptoms. Is this normal? It's so bad I can't sleep and sitting at my desk all day is impossible. Any remedy suggestions?
  4. Ding ding ding! Unfortunately I have no proof that he gave it to me but it is a coincidence. All I can do is move on with my life
  5. Hello ladies! I was scrolling through Pinterest and saw a post on DYI padsicles. For those that don't know they are used for post birth to help soothe the vagina. Post pregnant women swear by them. I was curious if they would be beneficial not only for after birth but for outbreaks. Has anyone ever tried it? I couldn't find any articles in regards to herpes online. http://allthingssurrogacy.org/diy-padsicles/
  6. Thank you for the kind words. Since you mentioned God, that was another hurdle I had to tackle. I felt like I was being punished for something. Then I felt remorse for ever thinking That (oh the emotions!) I have to put my faith in him that I am where I'm supposed to be and helping others along the way will bring me closer to God. I referenced 'Let it Go' as me releasing my past and not being ashamed for having herpes. Yes, I am very angry with my ex and I hope in time I can forgive. I'm still a work in progress. I felt so great after submitting my story and thought I could maybe have a handle on this. Well, this morning I woke up to my second outbreak and was quickly reminded how this thing can pop up any time it likes no matter what I do.
  7. Hi, my name is Andrea and I have herpes. Just a little support group joke to break the ice. The mere fact that I just typed the words “I have herpes” on a support group site blows my mind. I have my degree in psychology and have worked in mental health agencies since college. Part of my job is to provide support and advice. I have told several clients the importance of safe sex and STD risks. You would think I would listen to my own educated advice. How did I get here? I met a man on Tinder (that should have been my first red flag) and we developed a quick relationship. We were intimate by the second date and continued to use condoms until he knew I was on birth control. Why is it when men find out a woman is on BC, condoms are no longer in the picture? I also didn’t say otherwise so there’s a double negative. After four months into our romance he became distant and we were constantly arguing. Sunday August 14th we got into a heated argument and by Monday we were broken up. A few days prior to our fight I noticed some mild itching downstairs. I thought I was just getting a yeast infection. Tuesday, I woke up in excruciating pain and discovered small bumps. I immediately grabbed a compact mirror and Google and began to compare my lady bits to very scary pictures. I think I looked at a thousand vaginas trying to rationalize what I was experiencing. No matter what I said in my head I knew it was most likely Herpes. The following day I called a gynecologist close to my work and made an appointment for the 18th. My symptoms began to get worse and it felt like my body was shutting down. I was scared. Thursday, I sat naked on a table and explained my symptoms. The doctor nodded and began to examine me. Unbeknownst to me, doc had a scalpel in her hand and took a culture. I screamed in pain and she tells me it looks like herpes. I began to wail with emotion and her way of consoling me was “don’t worry a lot of people have it.” I wanted to slap her with the stirrup. She writes some scripts, pats my shoulder and leaves the room. I sat there alone, naked, and ashamed. That day, I texted my ex (who had been ignoring me) and told him I just left the doctor’s and they think I have herpes. His response was “when did this start”? I replied “a few days ago” and haven’t heard from him since. Gee thanks. I went through the next few days isolated and full of despair. “How could this happen to me?” When the doctor confirmed my diagnosis over the phone, I no longer heard words but mere noise. That was August 22nd or as I call D-Day. The next couple of weeks I found myself in a deep depression. Once I arrived home from work, I would curl up in a fetal position and cry. Thank god for hemorrhoid cream or my eyes would be permanently swollen shut. The only thoughts I had were “no one is ever going to touch me again and others will think I’m dirty.” I’m 25 years old and any dream of getting married and starting a family has been ripped from my heart. My lowest point was when I collapsed in my mother’s arms muttering “I have herpes.” A spear going through my skull would have felt less painful than admitting to your parent you have an incurable std. Thank God my mother is an angel and has been my backbone my entire life. She grieved with me and said, “You will not go through this alone.” Once I wrapped my head around my diagnosis and read every article on the Internet, I decided to take back control of my life. I changed to a gluten free clean diet and stocked up on Valtrex and vitamins. Sounds like a rap song. My outbreak lasted 15 days and after that I began to work out again. I went from crying everyday to roughly 1-2 times a week. This is also when I decided for the first time to get support from a community I now belong to. This is extremely difficult for me. Since I was born, I have always been the one to help others. But, here I am. I can’t help but play Frozen’s “Let It Go” in my head while writing this. Thank you Adrial for providing the opportunity for us to share our personal intimate moments. If this is never read, I am glad I was able to get it out. My herpes story is just beginning and my hope is to heal by helping others along the way.
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