Hello all, Thankyou for taking the time to look at post :)
So I don't want to ramble on too much, but basically I was found to have the hsv 2 strain in my urethra a few months back, after a couple of agonizing weeks of difficulty urinating. No one seemed to know what I had, the symptoms and the pain developed while I was on antibiotics for a UTI, so maybe my immune system was compromised in hindsight. But anyway, my last pelvic exam was the week before and my doctor took some swabs to test for herpes but only around my vagina, as he noticed something he thought could potentially be a sore (all swabs he did that day came back negative for herpes). It was only when I was still having my urination problems that I went to a different doctor and he took some swabs again but this time in my urethra, which did come back showing hsv2. I was given Valacyclovir and my symptoms finally and quickly went away.
I broke the news to my boyfriend and he eventually broke up with me when he tested negative (we were having unprotected sex for 7 months). I am obviously heartbroken but more so I now feel like this is the end of any future for me. I feel like I have the plague, how can I ever be with anyone? It's basically asking someone to agree to me giving them herpes, because in a long term relationship it's of course going to happen statistically, even with condom use I'm surely going to pass it on through oral sex or kissing no?
I also thought about if I were to try to have children then that means not using any barrier contraception, possibly for a long period of them until I fall pregnant. So it's inevitable I am going to give the person I am with the virus.
I just want to know, is there any chance I could get the virus to a low enough point in my point to not be contagious any more?
I am also very confused because me and me ex had a lot of sex, and he tested Negative after 7 months with me. So does this mean that I'm not as contagious? I had tested negative for herpes from the swabs around my vagina, only weeks later did a different doctor think to test in my urethra and then I get told that actually in fact I DO have herpes :( You can imagine my shock and upset.
Another question I have, if it is/was isolated to my urethra during my (to my knowledge first ever) symptoms then perhaps I'm not a high risk to give it to someone? I did after all test NEGATIVE for the virus in the swabs done around my genitals.
I do not have the information about what count of the virus I carry, do I need to get a blood test for this? And also if my count is below a certain number does it technically count as being negative? Therefore not required to tell a partner?
Thankyou for taking the time to read this, as you can probably tell I am rather uninformed, and in addition my heartbreak that someone I loved was scared off by me doing the right thing has crushed me. I feel like it's a death sentence for my love life, I've found it hard to find people interested in a relationship with me as it is, as my lifestyle involves me moving from place to place. Now I may as well just give up entirely, how can you ever feel comfortable in the bedroom when you have the constant worry of spreading something? If I don't say anything and a partner develops symptoms I would never be able to lie to their face and pretend I didn't know I had it. And it's a miracle if anyone actually want to start anything with me in the first place, can you imagine dropping that bomb the first date? I literally feel sick with this news and if there's no future of a happy ending for me then I can't even see the point in going on with my life :(
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