nettles

I never had prodrome symptoms with the red marks that I have gotten off and on for the past five years. It just felt sore in this one spot for 1-2 days, like I had rough sex or something, which unfortunately wasn't the case. :-) Anyway, with the outbreak I had 13 days ago now, I definitely had prodrome symptoms. It burned, tingled and hurt just to walk down the street - same as the very time I had an outbreak. But this time it was in a different area on my body. I'm just kind of shocked that I got such an intense outbreak after 5 years of having these suspect minor outbreaks. I take it as a sign to take better care of myself. I also suspect that strong sunlight is a trigger for me. The person that gave it to me says he used to get cold sores (on his lips though) whenever he went out in intense sunlight. That was his trigger. Anyone think the sun is a trigger for genital herpes?

I'm confused about outbreaks. I was diagnosed with HSV1 5 years ago. First outbreak was awful. Since then I had a minor irritation on one spot, but every time I looked, never saw a blister, just some redness, and had some soreness, no tingling. I was in a Masters program and life was fairly stressful though I tried to take care of myself as best as I could. I eat healthy and take Chinese herbs specifically for herpes. I only tried the pharmaceutical anti-virals once and they made me feel so awful I didn't want to do them again. My question is were those red marks and soreness signs of an OB? My doctor thinks they were not, though my doc never inspected me during these times. However, just last week, I had for certain an OB. Full-on with blisters on the side of my vagina and buttocks, with total tingling, burning, etc... The feeling lasted almost a week, but 12 days later, I can still see red marks. ugh! So, how do you really know you are having an OB? I have always thought it would be best to abstain from sexual activity when having an OB, but how do I know what's an OB or not? I have a crush on a new guy right now and I think he likes me too. I'd like to have a healthy, happy, safe sex life again some day.

If it were me, I would tell him. I think you will feel guilty if you do not. Plus, you love him, right. He deserves to know. Yes, he might leave you, buy he may not. He may even respect you more to know you were very honest with him. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

I don't know if I can provide a pep talk, but when I feel bad about having herpes and being forever single, I try to remember all the things that I am grateful for in my life and know that herpes is better than some debilitating illness like MS, Lupus, or Cancer. I try to do whatever it takes to keep my self-esteem strong. Be around positive non-judemental people, but also remind myself how great of a partner I would be for someone. You have to believe that you are a great person and have a lot of to offer someone. You must know what these qualities are. List them when you are feeling down. It's easy to forget when we see so many couples, but remember their happiness could be fleeting too just like everyone else's is. Things are not always what they seem on the outside. I met an awesome guy once that was fully accepting about my herpes. Problem was I wasn't "in love" with him. Later I met another guy, that I was "in love" with, but he couldn't accept my herpes. Ironic, but it's about my karma and attracting the right partner into my life, which I'm working on... Bottom line, I think it's natural that we all have our stuff. If we continually to recognize and honor our own feelings, then we have more courage to live in acceptance of ourselves, and then the more goodness you can attract.

I agree...go ahead and please yourself. By all means remember to love yourself and your body. Also, just be sure to wash your hands after. Just in case, you don't ever want to scratch in an itch in your eye while you are having an OB. Just a precaution, similar to peeing before having sex to reduce chances of uti's. Be careful, but have fun.

Hi domesticatrix, Although I have not experienced the same phenomenon, I want to tell you that I appreciate your honesty with your post. Please keep the "gory deets" coming. I think it's helpful for all of us. I need to express some gory deets myself to get an answer to a question.... I was diagnosed almost 5 years ago with genital HSV1. Bad outbreak the first time - fever, swollen glands, couldn't pee for like 10 days, but since then, I don't know how to tell if I have an outbreak or not. I never see a blister, ulcer or any spot, just redness on one side of my labia. It only lasts a day or two and sometimes I just wonder did I scratch myself during masturbation or in the shower? Doctors & the guy that gave it to me told me that I shouldn't get many outbreaks because I have type 1. However, I consider myself infected and tell potential partners of my infection. And figure I am thankful that my outbreaks have been mild. Currently, I am feeling heart broken because the guy I have been dating for the past 6 months just can't seem to get past this issue. He just wants to cuddle on the couch. I've been feeling so sexually & emotionally frustrated that I've been trying to break up with him, so far unsuccessfully. I had a boyfriend before him who didn't mind at all that I have Herpes, but I just didn't love him. Ugh! Life seems so unfair. Anyone out there have any comments about understanding how to tell if you are having an outbreak if you have genital HSV1? And, comments what to do about dating someone that just can't get past my infection? Thanks for any input...