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SilverLining1012

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SilverLining1012 last won the day on September 29 2022

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  1. I'm glad this post was helpful to some!! As an update, "Luke" and I have moved in together and are really happy. I literally never think about my HSV2 anymore (and he says: neither does he!). If I'm having a stressful week, or feel my immune system wearing down, I'll pop some Valtrex. This virus is literally no big deal to me anymore, which is hard to believe because I found it ALL-CONSUMING the first 6-8 months I was diagnosed. I really, truly hope people don't let this diagnosis get you down. I promise the right person will see you for who you are, and get over the diagnosis.
  2. Hi all, I'd like to share my perspective with the hope that it helps anyone who is grappling with dating after your diagnosis. All the disclosure success stories on this site really helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel. You see, in the fall of 2016, I got herpes. HSV2. And a pretty horrific first breakout. What started as a horrible, life-changing event started me down a pretty good path. I'll spare you all the cliches, but suffice it to stay, I re-centered on what/who was important to me, and after taking several months off from dating, went back into the dating pool really focused on finding a true partner. For context, I'd been floundering in the pretty-competitive dating scene in NYC for the past several years. I'm now in my early 30s. Always considered myself a catch-- pretty fit, fancy degrees, etc etc. But Manhattan is full of attractive, accomplished single women. I felt like I was at a major disadvantage. You know...because of the herpes. Essentially, what I am here to say is that all this "herpes wingman" talk turns out to be spot on. I made a full dating profile on a non-herpes dating site. A real (non-herpes) website. Not tinder (though I was on that, too) and not eHarmony (seemed too intense..) Over the course of 6 months I dated 3 guys for several weeks each, and things fizzled without going too far. None of them were the right connection, but they were all great guys (except for one finance millionaire...story to be told over cocktails). Then (let's call him:) Luke reached out. And he was kind, and handsome, and educated, and went the extra mile to really get to know me. And on our 5th date, I told him I had herpes. Turns out, so did his last girlfriend. I am currently in the most satisfying sexual relationship of my entire life. "Luke" has met my entire family, and is the best partner I could ask for. Plus, he's really hot. That's pretty convenient. A key finding over the past year is that, frankly, the right person, someone with whom you have a truly strong connection, who is also ready to settle down, will get over your HSV status. So you should get over it, too. --because you deserve a great partner who wakes up every day in awe of how lucky they are to be with you. I wake up feeling that way about him. Is my life perfect? Of course not. In fact, I'm having a herpes outbreak as we speak. So that's annoying. Plus, who knows if it will actually work out with "Luke". I just hope this post is helpful for anyone out there who thinks that their HSV status (particularly those of us that do get outbreaks) is going to ruin your life. It gets better, and actually can be used to your advantage. May the force be with you.
  3. hey optimist, I'm really curious how you phrased it over text. I've just started dating again after being diagnosed 6 weeks ago and I'm trying to prep myself for these conversations.
  4. I would also love a buddy. I was diagnosed three weeks ago with HSV2. I am 30 and live in Manhattan. It would be great to find someone in their 30s or early 40s who has had this for a while. I'm at the stage where I am determined to move forward and eat very healthy and take care of myself; I would like to start dating again sooner rather than later but need to get to know myself again. No preference for location. hopefully we can end up supporting each other! Any takers? Please message me
  5. Hi everyone. I'm reading a lot of comments about people saying that suppression meds (Valtrex etc) are too expensive. Some tips from someone who is in the business of healthcare: try asking for the generic version. In my case, it works just as well. Next, there's a new app called Blink Health that helps people save a lot on their prescriptions. I used it for the first time last week and it took my one-month supply of suppression pills from $65 down to $25. I hope that helps at least a few people!
  6. Hi Sam, could you switch the the generic of Valtrex, valacyclovir? Also, try downloading Blink Health, an app that helps you save a LOT on your prescriptions. I used it for my prescription for a one-month supply of my suppressant and it took the price down from $65 to $25 for the month. That's pretty big savings!
  7. I'd love some advice on how to approach the friend that gave me HSV2. In a nutshell, I know from blood work and history that he was my giver. I was diagnosed three weeks ago and I'm still coming to terms with this. I have my ups and downs. My giver was a friend I've had for a few years. We met in business school and he recently moved to my neighborhood. He had been very persistent and flirtacious but I know he never wanted anything serious. And frankly, neither did I. So, after too many tequila drinks and not enough food, we have our night together. I regretted it pretty much immediately. He even had a date scheduled for later that day. Dude, keep that to yourself. I've seen him a few times since then he's been plenty friendly, and I've been aloof, not knowing whether he knows he's infected or perhaps he just assumed that he wasn't contagious because he wasn't having an outbreak. I'm dreading this conversation because I'm afraid he'll deny it. We share many common friends, and I would hate to feel uncomfortable around him forever. I'm 30 years old and haven't felt this awkward in 10 years. Does anyone have any advice or experience to share?
  8. NothingGoodGetsAway, hippyherpy, thanks for the kind words. I'm still adjusting for sure… Do you mind sharing whether you have HSV 1 or 2? Do you think it makes a difference when telling people? HSV 1 is much more common.
  9. Thanks for sharing, Katidid. I am embarrassed to admit it was not protected. Since I had very severe symptoms 4 days after, my obgyn said it was a new infection. Also, I have not had many partners over the last 2 years and I used protection with them all.
  10. Congrats! Really appreciate you sharing. Do you mind sharing whether you have HSV 1 or 2? Have your outbreaks since been very infrequent and less painful?
  11. thanks for sharing! how are you feeling now? any recurrance?
  12. Hi all, It's been 2 days since I heard the words "you have herpes." I got it from a friend I've had for years. We went to business school together and had been flirting for the past few years. I'm gearing up to have a very serious "hey, you gave me herpes" talk with him very soon, but first I need to get some perspective. It doesn't help that my OBGYN kind of shrugged off this diagnosis. She gave me the meds and didn't judge, but kind of shoved me out the door with no follow-up…I had to call HER when my head stopped spinning to get the official results of the swab test and to talk through additional plans. Here's what I'm going through (physically), and I'd welcome thoughts from veterans. (GRAPHIC DETAILS ALERT) I had one lesion I could see on my perineum, but apparently there are just a few other lesions in my vagina that I can't see, but my OBGYN could when she (very painfully) used clamps to take a closer look. I've been talking Advil and the generic of Valtrax for the past 2.5 days and am overall feeling much less discomfort, though I woke up at 5am with some discomfort, and noticed that the ulcers I cannot see are bleeding. They've now just been steadily bleeding for at least the past 7-8 hours. Is this normal? I know Advil thins the blood, so maybe they're not clotting properly? Called my OBGYN and she essentially says "hmmm, that could be normal. continue with the prescribed medication and we'll come up with a long term plan". (OK thanks…that's not helpful). Next, I'm a 30 year old female in Manhattan who (much like you all) never thought this would happen to me. I'm very fit and healthy, and generally considered to be a catch. I feel really changed after this. Like I want to spend my 30s only having meaningful relationships and ejecting anyone that isn't kind or positive out of my life. Thinking of ways to help fight the stigma against the H. Thanks for reading my ramblings. Would love any insights from your experience, or resources available in NYC.
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